01-01-2014, 06:04 AM
Happy New Year!
I somehow got the New Year blues, but this time it was suppressed by the fact I can change the things that were getting me down. Whereas before it would have spiralled into a state of depression for days. It seemed to have been triggered by music that brought back passed memories, I have been dealing with my past hurts but this time it was different.
What took it over the top was an amateur music artist, the person had millions of views for what seemed more of a joke than an improvised song, but he also had other professional music vids.
He really believed in himself but he looked a bit autistic. I began to wonder if I was the same when I thought I would crack the music world, a retard who can’t tell the different between fantasy and reality. As many people told me to stay in school that was torture for me and I found another way to make a living and life for myself.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnlNILIMgCI [/video]
A fools Errant
I hate this feeling as it seems real even though the real world evidence suggests different. My business venture for example, my idea has been accepted by experienced business people in the world’s 4th biggest accounting firm.
My mentor used to be vice president of a leading electronic company says it an good idea, and many other professionals. But I still feel as though they either trying to spare my feelings because they feel sorry for how stupit I am, or they just talking advantage because they benefiting somehow (money mostly).
Obsessed with Success, I gotta make it
It explains why am so focused on achieving a lot of stuff and trying to measure the results of my improvements. I have to kick this feeling once and for all and it seems like the only way.
Yeah I may accept myself, love myself for who I am, but if I still get triggered by seeing people with lesser ability mentally. Then it will be a life long struggle. I have too rid myself of these feelings of inadequacy.
Can’t help but remember Ron Davis, even though he achieved success and riches he still felt sub-human which just fuelled his drive to succeed more and he had it worse than me.
Clearings for the day
I have been cleared some issues about shame and sex. Shame for desiring it, having it etc. Am sure that Adam and Eve story is in at least 1 billion peoples sub conscious minds, but its negative impact has been cleared from mine.
Action Plan – I have found a nudist resort that I can spend a weekend or more in on summer, if I can get comfortable talking and interacting with people butt naked, balls hanging, semi hard-ons and all, I doubt I will be self-conscious after, in everyday life with clothes on.
I also touched on some of the issues of my New Year’s Sorrow but it only helped a bit. I am positivity about the whole thing as I know there is hope and if I stick to my plan I Will Overcome.
Happy New Year , I know I will have the greatest year of my life this time around.
I wish you all the same
I somehow got the New Year blues, but this time it was suppressed by the fact I can change the things that were getting me down. Whereas before it would have spiralled into a state of depression for days. It seemed to have been triggered by music that brought back passed memories, I have been dealing with my past hurts but this time it was different.
What took it over the top was an amateur music artist, the person had millions of views for what seemed more of a joke than an improvised song, but he also had other professional music vids.
He really believed in himself but he looked a bit autistic. I began to wonder if I was the same when I thought I would crack the music world, a retard who can’t tell the different between fantasy and reality. As many people told me to stay in school that was torture for me and I found another way to make a living and life for myself.
[video=youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnlNILIMgCI [/video]
A fools Errant
I hate this feeling as it seems real even though the real world evidence suggests different. My business venture for example, my idea has been accepted by experienced business people in the world’s 4th biggest accounting firm.
My mentor used to be vice president of a leading electronic company says it an good idea, and many other professionals. But I still feel as though they either trying to spare my feelings because they feel sorry for how stupit I am, or they just talking advantage because they benefiting somehow (money mostly).
Obsessed with Success, I gotta make it
It explains why am so focused on achieving a lot of stuff and trying to measure the results of my improvements. I have to kick this feeling once and for all and it seems like the only way.
Yeah I may accept myself, love myself for who I am, but if I still get triggered by seeing people with lesser ability mentally. Then it will be a life long struggle. I have too rid myself of these feelings of inadequacy.
Can’t help but remember Ron Davis, even though he achieved success and riches he still felt sub-human which just fuelled his drive to succeed more and he had it worse than me.
Clearings for the day
I have been cleared some issues about shame and sex. Shame for desiring it, having it etc. Am sure that Adam and Eve story is in at least 1 billion peoples sub conscious minds, but its negative impact has been cleared from mine.
Action Plan – I have found a nudist resort that I can spend a weekend or more in on summer, if I can get comfortable talking and interacting with people butt naked, balls hanging, semi hard-ons and all, I doubt I will be self-conscious after, in everyday life with clothes on.
I also touched on some of the issues of my New Year’s Sorrow but it only helped a bit. I am positivity about the whole thing as I know there is hope and if I stick to my plan I Will Overcome.
Happy New Year , I know I will have the greatest year of my life this time around.
I wish you all the same
If you can't manage the little you have now, who will trust you with more, if you can't control yourself long can you rule over others for? Its easier for a king to rule a kingdom than himself and who does want an empire? Being unconquerable lies with yourself!
