12-28-2013, 11:51 AM
Section 3. Alpha Male 5 – be all the man you can be
Alpha Male 5 Training Set Objectives Part One
Objectives of AM5 and my position before I began it,
1. Let go of any negative self-image, attitudes, thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
I am a 25 year old man with a height of 5.4. I live at home with my parents and I tend to act like a child hoping that they won’t pressure me into leaving home as I am terrified of the outside world. I am terrified of women and their opinions of me. I am terrified of men and boys with larger bodies than me because I have nothing to stop them if they chose to enforce they will upon me.
I am afraid that am not competent enough to do anything, burred repressed memories of my past flash in my head as I recall been the only “normal” child in Special Class filled with disabled, deformed and autistic children.
I feel as though inwardly I am a retarded man and the gods choose to mock me with a normal body. I am terrified that people will find out who I really am, what I really am.
I feel like a child that doesn’t deserve to assert himself, I remember when I grew my hair long, wore earrings and spoke in a high pitch voice. All those childhood years spend sharing a room with me sister, I feel bad acting as a man would, I would feel wrong, have I been feminized to the point I find it a turn on watching porn of men dominated by women and pleasured with strap-ons?
2. Have a powerful, positive sense of self respect, self-esteem, self-image and self-worth.
Although I feel that every person deserves respect for just been human and having a part of the mind and spirit of God or the universe, or the universal mind or whatever you would like to call the highest power of creation.
I still find it hard to respect myself, and the inner critic with me finds it impossible it’s as if I have to become a millionaire first, have sex with a 1000 models and become a genius. Even thought is as if my ego won’t let me forget the days I was down at out in my worst element, selling my belongings for drugs money, picking up bugs to end the craving for nicotine. The drunken days and antics I have made sure to repress deeply with in my mind.
Flashes of the days the crowd I hang with made it okay for me to ask random people for money to buy cans alcohol. How will I compensate for all those memories? What great thing can I do to make my heart forgive my mind?
3. Have unshakable self-confidence.
What will people think? I heard that said around the house growing up a lot in what seemed at the time life or death situations. It was as though the opinions of other people held so much weight that we as a family would be made homeless and I would die of salvation and disease on the streets; because people thought so badly of my parents and as a result didn’t do business with them. And as a consequence of that they became desperately poor and I die of lack.
Am a grown man now people opinions matter to me more than my own, how can I live another day like this? If one person says I can do it I have faith and feel positive about doing it, then 5 mins later someone else will share they doubt in me and I will feel depressed again.
Ever stood in front of a group of people to speak and you froze? Not because you were afraid just because the CPU in your head clashed trying to process all possible things the people could have been thinking about you.
4. Be unaffected by rejection.
I already feel insignificant about myself, at least in the fantasy world I have created with porn stars and big dreams, I can have anything I can imagine instantly and cum with beautiful women lots of times through the day. Why ruin that and approach real women?
The result would be she using her “spidy senses” and sees that am an immature, wanking, childish, poor perverted man, who’s border line retarded (further proof would be the fact approached her), a sub human species with no confidence or self-respect at all. And the fact I have been rejected proves all my fears once again and begins the mental process into depression.
5. Treat women as people to enjoy the company of, without taking them too seriously, needing them, or being easily upset by them.
You don’t understand women are beautiful angels, sent from heaven to give meaning and purpose to mankind. Women are special creatures of nature and they need delicate treatment. The bath water of beautiful women can cure 1000s of alignments caused by depression, behind every great man there’s a women. My life depends on getting a beautiful women to like me and date me then marry me and have my kids, without this what kind of human will I be.
My life and happiness depend on beautiful women, all my friends will respect me, and society will accept me. I will be admired and treated well by everyone that knows I have a perfect 10 for a girlfriend. My mother and father would be proud and happy if I bring beautiful children in the world.
Don’t take women seriously or need them? Are you serious?
6. Have released expectations towards women, which often lead to bad choices, actions, attitudes, thinking and responses.
They have to like me and accept me if I am to feel like I belong on earth or deserve to breathe out the same atmosphere. Ever since I stared watching porn and masturbating at about 6-7 I have thought of women in the terms presented in those adult movies.
Am not sure that my 19 years been programed by porn and romantic movies will allow me to have no expectations towards women, it a Ludacris thought.
7. Be self sufficient and self reliant mentally, emotionally and otherwise.
I did mention am dyslexic right? I have existed and survived this far in my life by manipulating people to do the normal things I find impossible to do. Since convincing other kids to me allow me to copy work off them in primary school to avoid been punished by the teachers to making my parents perceive me as a child to stop them sending me into the dangerous world where I might not survive.
It’s easier for some people to be self-sufficient and self-reliant they were born normal with all the faculties of their brains working perfectly. I on the other hand am at the mercy of the world.
8. No longer be, or come across to others as “needy”.
Have you been reading anything I have been saying?
9. Take good care of yourself, your hygiene and your appearance, not just because you want to be attractive to beautiful women, but because it makes you feel good about yourself.
Well, that’s something I could see myself doing, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy. I get into a negative state for weeks on end and what’s the point of cleaning up or grooming myself? I will never had a girlfriend or a wife, even if some luck I manage to get one she will soon find out how stupid I am and leave me. I can’t hold down a normal job my mind keeps wandering and imaging all these wonderful projects I would do if I was confidence oh yeah and on top of that am a sinner that will burn in hell for eternity.
I remember once I quilted my mum into getting me a brand new car to help me get confidence. I knew this girl who lived on this road and one day has I was driving pass, 5000 watts playing my favourite songs I saw her with her friends, about 3 others.
They were a bit tipsy and say they had on where to sleep I took them home there was no one home. Four of them stripped down to they underwear after they had an argument I heard of who was mine and they decide to share. Well long story short they jumped into my bed that had no been washed in a long time and they left with out giving me what they had passionaly argued about.
That was probley for the best, I don’t know what the big deal is about sex, I have ever enjoyed it, it’s not like porn. I think I’ll marry my Laptop.
10. Be able to effortlessly approach any woman you want – and the more attractive you find her, the easier it will be.
The approaching isn’t the problem; it’s having your brain clash on you as you think about 100000000 possibilities and all of them negative.
I used to be able to approach when I was younger, with no issues at all, it’s after my brother made me realise how stupid I was I took that new view point into all my memories and noticed how pathetic I was, I had the hottest girls in the city at that age group that liked me and I couldn’t take it any further. Now as a man I can’t even imagine myself in a relationship.
11. Be selective about whom you spend your time with, and which women you give your time, interest and affections to.
WOW, if this could make me spend time with any women and be comfortable and have it go smooth, it would be a miracle in its self that would need no pickiness to ruin it.
12. Exude an aura of confidence, commanding presence and authority, which gets you respect, attention and obedience.
Again I fear such things, see I may have the Aura but not be the real deal it will cause more problems than it’s trying to solve. I sent a life time hiding from all the attention I get from females and males alike. It’s like as soon as they find out am defective they lose all respect for me, it really hurts and I can’t be like them invisible people it’s annoying.
One of the reasons I kept dropping out collage, it’s hard to handle all the pressure from every aspect of your life with a release (porn and narcotics) that causes more problems that it fixes.
13. Exude an aura of sexiness that makes you much more attractive to the beautiful women you encounter. The more beautiful they are, the more attracted and interested they will be.
Haven’t you been listening, I’ll never leave the house
14. Have a Zen attitude, which keeps you calm when other guys would lose control, thus demonstrating your self-control and mastery of the situation – an Alpha/dominant male trait.
Is this somehow going to raise my IQ so I can have the assurance that no matter what I can come up with a solution rather than fall deeper into a pit of hopelessness and despair at life.
15. Display graceful, confident body language, which broadcasts your power and dominance to all, but especially females (for whom body language is a very important way of communicating, and thus determining the men they are interested in).
Well first you’ll have to take some weight off my shoulders, it really weights me down.
16. Display the attitude, thinking, actions and speech patterns of an Alpha/Dominant Male.
That would be nice, I wonder how people stand me I can’t even stand myself, always whining and complaining and worrying. I feel powerful in that the dark cloud that follows me covers up other peoples sun shine too.
17. No longer seek approval from others, nor be concerned with what they think of you or what you do or say.
If I don’t seek approval from others how will I feel safe? Or know that I belong and that people like me and would help, defend and support me from dying of poverty, violence, or disease?
18. Be your own man, who does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, where he wants.
In the real world the weak, small and less intelligent are at the mercy of the Strong and smart. Ever heard of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Doing what I want does not sound like a safe or smart thing to do. I have to do what other people want to stay in they good graces.
19. Be in control when dealing with women, and especially beautiful women or women you are interested in.
Meaning I have to know what am doing and stay presence in the moment, I would rather just stay in my Constance daydream of random associated thoughts. I seems like less work, plus I always make stupid suggestions, been in control would expose me.
20. Be entirely unconcerned about “getting the girl” or achieving sexual interaction, which will make the ladies percieve you as higher status, higher value, and more worthy of both.
Do I have to go to a Buddhist Temple for 19 years to recondition my mind and detox from all those perverted unrealistic porn induced sexual fantasies. Cause that seems like the only logical way, this is how it works, Dee sees Girl, the perception of Girl stimulates Dee’s brain, Dee’s brain conjures up image of Porn.
21. Be easily able and willing to walk away from people and situations you don’t like, and TELL HER NO – whether it’s to her asking for sex or anything else.
Well, I don’t know if I picked it up from my dad but when you say no to people they never forget, and they wait to get you back in any way they can. I really can’t afford any enemies its feels dangerous and am not sure I can handle any backlashes.
Besides that I feel really bad when someone else feels disappointed, so I’ll make the sacrifice, and our heavenly father will reward my good works.
22. Be in complete control of yourself and your environment, and YOU will be the one who controls when, how, and with whom you have sex.
Okay, this again sounds like wishful thinking, people are controlled by dynamics, social hierarchies, older people, stronger people, richer people. Any one that is better that you has control over you not only by they opinions but also by they power to accept or respect you, show you respect or not. Meaning they actions will influence your life and your environment, so it’s best to be nice and as non-treading as possible towards everyone.
Anyway, I’ve turn down a lot of sex in my life, I don’t think I have a problem with that.
23. Develop and display a fantastic sense of humor, which will make you socially popular and attractive to others, especially beautiful women.
Nobody gets me even when I speak it’s as though I distort, deleted and generalize too much. I could do with a humor upgrade as mine is negative and best and childish at worst. Back when I was more social Girls would laugh at my jokes, I thought I was funny they just liked me, now I am too insecure to even deliver a premade hilarious joke properly. Where you ever amused by a sad clown?
24. Be entirely comfortable in social situations of any type, whether they are familiar to you or not.
I never ever knew what to say or do in social situations, growing up I would spend most of my time in my head or in my internal world. I do it to some extent our days but I feel like I would say something or do something, like it’s my responsibility to make small talk in the lunch line. And because I have to come out my world first I normally say the most random of things which normally just adds to my tension.
Then when am just quite in my world, I feel like am doing something wrong. I mean I can’t go out without a drink, it makes me social but I’ll be talking about thinks in my internal world that people can’t relate too. The cycle continues
25. And do it all while being polite and graceful!
Am so polite, I always say my please’s and thank yours. I once went to a house with my friends to see some women and I even said sorry every time wanted to get they attentions to say something, that how polite I am
Alpha Male 5 Training Set Objectives Part One
Objectives of AM5 and my position before I began it,
1. Let go of any negative self-image, attitudes, thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
I am a 25 year old man with a height of 5.4. I live at home with my parents and I tend to act like a child hoping that they won’t pressure me into leaving home as I am terrified of the outside world. I am terrified of women and their opinions of me. I am terrified of men and boys with larger bodies than me because I have nothing to stop them if they chose to enforce they will upon me.
I am afraid that am not competent enough to do anything, burred repressed memories of my past flash in my head as I recall been the only “normal” child in Special Class filled with disabled, deformed and autistic children.
I feel as though inwardly I am a retarded man and the gods choose to mock me with a normal body. I am terrified that people will find out who I really am, what I really am.
I feel like a child that doesn’t deserve to assert himself, I remember when I grew my hair long, wore earrings and spoke in a high pitch voice. All those childhood years spend sharing a room with me sister, I feel bad acting as a man would, I would feel wrong, have I been feminized to the point I find it a turn on watching porn of men dominated by women and pleasured with strap-ons?
2. Have a powerful, positive sense of self respect, self-esteem, self-image and self-worth.
Although I feel that every person deserves respect for just been human and having a part of the mind and spirit of God or the universe, or the universal mind or whatever you would like to call the highest power of creation.
I still find it hard to respect myself, and the inner critic with me finds it impossible it’s as if I have to become a millionaire first, have sex with a 1000 models and become a genius. Even thought is as if my ego won’t let me forget the days I was down at out in my worst element, selling my belongings for drugs money, picking up bugs to end the craving for nicotine. The drunken days and antics I have made sure to repress deeply with in my mind.
Flashes of the days the crowd I hang with made it okay for me to ask random people for money to buy cans alcohol. How will I compensate for all those memories? What great thing can I do to make my heart forgive my mind?
3. Have unshakable self-confidence.
What will people think? I heard that said around the house growing up a lot in what seemed at the time life or death situations. It was as though the opinions of other people held so much weight that we as a family would be made homeless and I would die of salvation and disease on the streets; because people thought so badly of my parents and as a result didn’t do business with them. And as a consequence of that they became desperately poor and I die of lack.
Am a grown man now people opinions matter to me more than my own, how can I live another day like this? If one person says I can do it I have faith and feel positive about doing it, then 5 mins later someone else will share they doubt in me and I will feel depressed again.
Ever stood in front of a group of people to speak and you froze? Not because you were afraid just because the CPU in your head clashed trying to process all possible things the people could have been thinking about you.
4. Be unaffected by rejection.
I already feel insignificant about myself, at least in the fantasy world I have created with porn stars and big dreams, I can have anything I can imagine instantly and cum with beautiful women lots of times through the day. Why ruin that and approach real women?
The result would be she using her “spidy senses” and sees that am an immature, wanking, childish, poor perverted man, who’s border line retarded (further proof would be the fact approached her), a sub human species with no confidence or self-respect at all. And the fact I have been rejected proves all my fears once again and begins the mental process into depression.
5. Treat women as people to enjoy the company of, without taking them too seriously, needing them, or being easily upset by them.
You don’t understand women are beautiful angels, sent from heaven to give meaning and purpose to mankind. Women are special creatures of nature and they need delicate treatment. The bath water of beautiful women can cure 1000s of alignments caused by depression, behind every great man there’s a women. My life depends on getting a beautiful women to like me and date me then marry me and have my kids, without this what kind of human will I be.
My life and happiness depend on beautiful women, all my friends will respect me, and society will accept me. I will be admired and treated well by everyone that knows I have a perfect 10 for a girlfriend. My mother and father would be proud and happy if I bring beautiful children in the world.
Don’t take women seriously or need them? Are you serious?
6. Have released expectations towards women, which often lead to bad choices, actions, attitudes, thinking and responses.
They have to like me and accept me if I am to feel like I belong on earth or deserve to breathe out the same atmosphere. Ever since I stared watching porn and masturbating at about 6-7 I have thought of women in the terms presented in those adult movies.
Am not sure that my 19 years been programed by porn and romantic movies will allow me to have no expectations towards women, it a Ludacris thought.
7. Be self sufficient and self reliant mentally, emotionally and otherwise.
I did mention am dyslexic right? I have existed and survived this far in my life by manipulating people to do the normal things I find impossible to do. Since convincing other kids to me allow me to copy work off them in primary school to avoid been punished by the teachers to making my parents perceive me as a child to stop them sending me into the dangerous world where I might not survive.
It’s easier for some people to be self-sufficient and self-reliant they were born normal with all the faculties of their brains working perfectly. I on the other hand am at the mercy of the world.
8. No longer be, or come across to others as “needy”.
Have you been reading anything I have been saying?
9. Take good care of yourself, your hygiene and your appearance, not just because you want to be attractive to beautiful women, but because it makes you feel good about yourself.
Well, that’s something I could see myself doing, but sometimes I just don’t have the energy. I get into a negative state for weeks on end and what’s the point of cleaning up or grooming myself? I will never had a girlfriend or a wife, even if some luck I manage to get one she will soon find out how stupid I am and leave me. I can’t hold down a normal job my mind keeps wandering and imaging all these wonderful projects I would do if I was confidence oh yeah and on top of that am a sinner that will burn in hell for eternity.
I remember once I quilted my mum into getting me a brand new car to help me get confidence. I knew this girl who lived on this road and one day has I was driving pass, 5000 watts playing my favourite songs I saw her with her friends, about 3 others.
They were a bit tipsy and say they had on where to sleep I took them home there was no one home. Four of them stripped down to they underwear after they had an argument I heard of who was mine and they decide to share. Well long story short they jumped into my bed that had no been washed in a long time and they left with out giving me what they had passionaly argued about.
That was probley for the best, I don’t know what the big deal is about sex, I have ever enjoyed it, it’s not like porn. I think I’ll marry my Laptop.
10. Be able to effortlessly approach any woman you want – and the more attractive you find her, the easier it will be.
The approaching isn’t the problem; it’s having your brain clash on you as you think about 100000000 possibilities and all of them negative.
I used to be able to approach when I was younger, with no issues at all, it’s after my brother made me realise how stupid I was I took that new view point into all my memories and noticed how pathetic I was, I had the hottest girls in the city at that age group that liked me and I couldn’t take it any further. Now as a man I can’t even imagine myself in a relationship.
11. Be selective about whom you spend your time with, and which women you give your time, interest and affections to.
WOW, if this could make me spend time with any women and be comfortable and have it go smooth, it would be a miracle in its self that would need no pickiness to ruin it.
12. Exude an aura of confidence, commanding presence and authority, which gets you respect, attention and obedience.
Again I fear such things, see I may have the Aura but not be the real deal it will cause more problems than it’s trying to solve. I sent a life time hiding from all the attention I get from females and males alike. It’s like as soon as they find out am defective they lose all respect for me, it really hurts and I can’t be like them invisible people it’s annoying.
One of the reasons I kept dropping out collage, it’s hard to handle all the pressure from every aspect of your life with a release (porn and narcotics) that causes more problems that it fixes.
13. Exude an aura of sexiness that makes you much more attractive to the beautiful women you encounter. The more beautiful they are, the more attracted and interested they will be.
Haven’t you been listening, I’ll never leave the house
14. Have a Zen attitude, which keeps you calm when other guys would lose control, thus demonstrating your self-control and mastery of the situation – an Alpha/dominant male trait.
Is this somehow going to raise my IQ so I can have the assurance that no matter what I can come up with a solution rather than fall deeper into a pit of hopelessness and despair at life.
15. Display graceful, confident body language, which broadcasts your power and dominance to all, but especially females (for whom body language is a very important way of communicating, and thus determining the men they are interested in).
Well first you’ll have to take some weight off my shoulders, it really weights me down.
16. Display the attitude, thinking, actions and speech patterns of an Alpha/Dominant Male.
That would be nice, I wonder how people stand me I can’t even stand myself, always whining and complaining and worrying. I feel powerful in that the dark cloud that follows me covers up other peoples sun shine too.
17. No longer seek approval from others, nor be concerned with what they think of you or what you do or say.
If I don’t seek approval from others how will I feel safe? Or know that I belong and that people like me and would help, defend and support me from dying of poverty, violence, or disease?
18. Be your own man, who does what he wants, when he wants, how he wants, where he wants.
In the real world the weak, small and less intelligent are at the mercy of the Strong and smart. Ever heard of Darwin’s theory of evolution. Doing what I want does not sound like a safe or smart thing to do. I have to do what other people want to stay in they good graces.
19. Be in control when dealing with women, and especially beautiful women or women you are interested in.
Meaning I have to know what am doing and stay presence in the moment, I would rather just stay in my Constance daydream of random associated thoughts. I seems like less work, plus I always make stupid suggestions, been in control would expose me.
20. Be entirely unconcerned about “getting the girl” or achieving sexual interaction, which will make the ladies percieve you as higher status, higher value, and more worthy of both.
Do I have to go to a Buddhist Temple for 19 years to recondition my mind and detox from all those perverted unrealistic porn induced sexual fantasies. Cause that seems like the only logical way, this is how it works, Dee sees Girl, the perception of Girl stimulates Dee’s brain, Dee’s brain conjures up image of Porn.
21. Be easily able and willing to walk away from people and situations you don’t like, and TELL HER NO – whether it’s to her asking for sex or anything else.
Well, I don’t know if I picked it up from my dad but when you say no to people they never forget, and they wait to get you back in any way they can. I really can’t afford any enemies its feels dangerous and am not sure I can handle any backlashes.
Besides that I feel really bad when someone else feels disappointed, so I’ll make the sacrifice, and our heavenly father will reward my good works.
22. Be in complete control of yourself and your environment, and YOU will be the one who controls when, how, and with whom you have sex.
Okay, this again sounds like wishful thinking, people are controlled by dynamics, social hierarchies, older people, stronger people, richer people. Any one that is better that you has control over you not only by they opinions but also by they power to accept or respect you, show you respect or not. Meaning they actions will influence your life and your environment, so it’s best to be nice and as non-treading as possible towards everyone.
Anyway, I’ve turn down a lot of sex in my life, I don’t think I have a problem with that.
23. Develop and display a fantastic sense of humor, which will make you socially popular and attractive to others, especially beautiful women.
Nobody gets me even when I speak it’s as though I distort, deleted and generalize too much. I could do with a humor upgrade as mine is negative and best and childish at worst. Back when I was more social Girls would laugh at my jokes, I thought I was funny they just liked me, now I am too insecure to even deliver a premade hilarious joke properly. Where you ever amused by a sad clown?
24. Be entirely comfortable in social situations of any type, whether they are familiar to you or not.
I never ever knew what to say or do in social situations, growing up I would spend most of my time in my head or in my internal world. I do it to some extent our days but I feel like I would say something or do something, like it’s my responsibility to make small talk in the lunch line. And because I have to come out my world first I normally say the most random of things which normally just adds to my tension.
Then when am just quite in my world, I feel like am doing something wrong. I mean I can’t go out without a drink, it makes me social but I’ll be talking about thinks in my internal world that people can’t relate too. The cycle continues
25. And do it all while being polite and graceful!
Am so polite, I always say my please’s and thank yours. I once went to a house with my friends to see some women and I even said sorry every time wanted to get they attentions to say something, that how polite I am
