Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[Benjamin]

Jack Donovan had some good stuff, but with some of it he's projecting his own bs onto people. He's gay and he wrote some stuff about women that was really angry like "what the fuck is a woman doing in this place" in a gym or something, and how it disgusts him and similar things.

And it made me wonder how much of that hate and his own issues he's projecting in his work.

I've been meaning though to look at his under 21 convention speech but haven't got around to it yet.

[Antaeus]

Jack Donovan had some good stuff, but with some of it he's projecting his own bs onto people. He's gay and he wrote some stuff about women that was really angry like "what the **** is a woman doing in this place" in a gym or something, and how it disgusts him and similar things.

And it made me wonder how much of that hate and his own issues he's projecting in his work.

I've been meaning though to look at his under 21 convention speech but haven't got around to it yet.

Yeeesh. Sounds kind of out there.

[JCasterlin]

Jack Donovan had some good stuff, but with some of it he's projecting his own bs onto people. He's gay and he wrote some stuff about women that was really angry like "what the **** is a woman doing in this place" in a gym or something, and how it disgusts him and similar things.

And it made me wonder how much of that hate and his own issues he's projecting in his work.

I've been meaning though to look at his under 21 convention speech but haven't got around to it yet.

That & he's part of the Wolves of Vinland who's other members are part of Operation Werewolf which is not exactly culturally friendly

[Determined]

Looking up some books about masculinity. Anyone familiar with Jack Donovan's work?

I've read parts of his book Way Of Men. I haven't finished it though. I'm not sure I agree with what he says about men needing validation from other men. It goes against my whole reason for running AM6 in the first place. I have yet to come across any book on masculinity that I agree with. Which is probably a good thing as I'm not looking to emulate anyone

Yea I can see what you're saying about that. A man shouldn't need validation from anyone in most situations at least. What I also don't necessarily agree with is his idea of men's need to be "part of the tribe" so to speak. But I do agree with the idea that a man needs strength and competence. I don't want to totally write him off though.

David Deida is your best source. That man has simplified masculinity and femininity so easily for me.

If you're done with "The way of the superior man", "Blue Truth" goes straight to the core. Lots of little gems in it.

So what does 'Blue Truth' cover that's different from TWOSP?

TWOSP is very surface level. Blue Truth goes to the core. The title comes from a candle's flame, red on the outside but blue nearest to the centre.

I personally found it to be the next step up from TWOSP.

[Antaeus]

I've read parts of his book Way Of Men. I haven't finished it though. I'm not sure I agree with what he says about men needing validation from other men. It goes against my whole reason for running AM6 in the first place. I have yet to come across any book on masculinity that I agree with. Which is probably a good thing as I'm not looking to emulate anyone

Yea I can see what you're saying about that. A man shouldn't need validation from anyone in most situations at least. What I also don't necessarily agree with is his idea of men's need to be "part of the tribe" so to speak. But I do agree with the idea that a man needs strength and competence. I don't want to totally write him off though.

David Deida is your best source. That man has simplified masculinity and femininity so easily for me.

If you're done with "The way of the superior man", "Blue Truth" goes straight to the core. Lots of little gems in it.

So what does 'Blue Truth' cover that's different from TWOSP?

TWOSP is very surface level. Blue Truth goes to the core. The title comes from a candle's flame, red on the outside but blue nearest to the centre.

I personally found it to be the next step up from TWOSP.

I had heard of 'Blue Truth' many years ago when I was looking into the topic of masculinity. I've read TWOSP at least once and really liked at least the more practical parts of the book.

I'll give 'Blue Truth' a look at some point.

[Antaeus]

Jack Donovan had some good stuff, but with some of it he's projecting his own bs onto people. He's gay and he wrote some stuff about women that was really angry like "what the **** is a woman doing in this place" in a gym or something, and how it disgusts him and similar things.

And it made me wonder how much of that hate and his own issues he's projecting in his work.

I've been meaning though to look at his under 21 convention speech but haven't got around to it yet.

That & he's part of the Wolves of Vinland who's other members are part of Operation Werewolf which is not exactly culturally friendly

Soo what are those groups exactly?

[Benjamin]

That & he's part of the Wolves of Vinland who's other members are part of Operation Werewolf which is not exactly culturally friendly

Culturally friendly? I've read some of Paul Waggeners blogs and I like it.

Soo what are those groups exactly?

I don't know alot about them, but seem to be kind of like a bikie club that are working on being self sufficient from the world, learn to fight and train fitness and such. With a pretty hardcore philosophy. They seem more genuine, not like criminals or anything like other bikies.. just fighting against the state of the world and how fucked up it is.

[Antaeus]

Just got back from a reception. There was this very cute waitress there. Didn't approach though due to two reasons. 1) She looked like she could be VERY young, like high school age. And 2) Because of the nature of the event [no details due to Rule 4]. Surely my fears were not totally rational. In any case it felt wrong to approach her mostly because of my first reason. So fear of approaching and social anxiety is still there to some degree.

No biggie though. Patience is a virtue. Still on stage 1 after all.

[Antaeus]

So I may be thinking too far ahead. But I've been thinking real hard about what my next sub will be once I finish AM6. I thought about doing either E2 or revisiting MLS. But I've been hearing a lot of people talk about DMSI on these forums. I've heard that the healing component on it is very powerful and that many people have gotten great results from it. I know I need to focus on AM6 right now. But I say there's no harm in planning ahead and least doing my homework on it.

[JCasterlin]

That & he's part of the Wolves of Vinland who's other members are part of Operation Werewolf which is not exactly culturally friendly

Culturally friendly? I've read some of Paul Waggeners blogs and I like it.

Soo what are those groups exactly?

I don't know alot about them, but seem to be kind of like a bikie club that are working on being self sufficient from the world, learn to fight and train fitness and such. With a pretty hardcore philosophy. They seem more genuine, not like criminals or anything like other bikies.. just fighting against the state of the world and how ***** up it is.

I don't know if its true or not but I've heard OW has racist undertones .
That said both of Waggener's brothers impress the fuck out of me. One runs a Crossfit box & the other Seth competes in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu competitions.
I'm all for the being self sufficient but like what was addressed earlier, I dont agree with with tribe thing. Oddly enough Jack Donovan in his book " Becoming a Barbarian "
said that being a " Lone Wolf " is a narcissistic fantasy. That I don't agree with at all. It has zero to do with not being a " joiner " or having a fragile sense of identity. It is about wanting to be the best version of yourself free from the need or desire to prove yourself to anyone.

[Greenduck]

So I may be thinking too far ahead. But I've been thinking real hard about what my next sub will be once I finish AM6. I thought about doing either E2 or revisiting MLS. But I've been hearing a lot of people talk about DMSI on these forums. I've heard that the healing component on it is very powerful and that many people have gotten great results from it. I know I need to focus on AM6 right now. But I say there's no harm in planning ahead and least doing my homework on it.

I have done this alot during some of my previous subs. Don't know if you just did it then or if you think about that kind of stuff a lot. If you obsess with this kind of thoughts, try get into your feelings and how the AM sub is making you feel. Get into your body and out of your mind, there is where growth is done. Can recommend yoga if you are not doing that!

[Antaeus]

I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and let the sub do its work. It's been 25 days since I started stage 1 but I haven't really noticed any differences yet aside from having these insights. The only thing I can report in all this time is that I've felt serious anger at myself for all the times I've allowed myself to be mistreated. Also have had some feelings of hopelessness, as if not even this sub can help me.

Ive been trying to figure out how I can start to get out more and start socializing. Don't have much money right now. I figure maybe I could meet people at the gym. Which is where I need to be going anyway.

Started eating healthier this week. Meal preps have been pretty straightforward: boneless skinless chicken thighs, green beans with uncured bacon, and roasted sweet potatoes seasoned with salt, pepper and smoked paprika (tastes freaking amazing btw).

I've been knowing that I need to eat healthier, and start taking care of myself better. A lot has happened in the past 8 months.

I have a feeling that stages 1 & 2 will be largely uneventful for me.

But I'm sticking with it.

[DavisMind91]

I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and let the sub do its work. It's been 25 days since I started stage 1 but I haven't really noticed any differences yet aside from having these insights. The only thing I can report in all this time is that I've felt serious anger at myself for all the times I've allowed myself to be mistreated. Also have had some feelings of hopelessness, as if not even this sub can help me.

Ive been trying to figure out how I can start to get out more and start socializing. Don't have much money right now. I figure maybe I could meet people at the gym. Which is where I need to be going anyway.

Started eating healthier this week. Meal preps have been pretty straightforward: boneless skinless chicken thighs, green beans with uncured bacon, and roasted sweet potatoes seasoned with salt, pepper and smoked paprika (tastes freaking amazing btw).

I've been knowing that I need to eat healthier, and start taking care of myself better. A lot has happened in the past 8 months.

I have a feeling that stages 1 & 2 will be largely uneventful for me.

But I'm sticking with it.

Sounds to me like stage 1 is doing exactly what it's supposed to. the insights are a sign of maturity being gained. you eating healthier as well as wanting to go to the gym is also the sub at work. Feeling pissed about your boundaries being crossed in the past also seems to be a common effect of the first couple of stages. You wanting to meet new people is a sign of the extroversion training at work. Your run of stage 1 seems pretty eventful, you just may not be getting the events you expected right now.

[Antaeus]

I have to keep reminding myself to be patient and let the sub do its work. It's been 25 days since I started stage 1 but I haven't really noticed any differences yet aside from having these insights. The only thing I can report in all this time is that I've felt serious anger at myself for all the times I've allowed myself to be mistreated. Also have had some feelings of hopelessness, as if not even this sub can help me.

Ive been trying to figure out how I can start to get out more and start socializing. Don't have much money right now. I figure maybe I could meet people at the gym. Which is where I need to be going anyway.

Started eating healthier this week. Meal preps have been pretty straightforward: boneless skinless chicken thighs, green beans with uncured bacon, and roasted sweet potatoes seasoned with salt, pepper and smoked paprika (tastes freaking amazing btw).

I've been knowing that I need to eat healthier, and start taking care of myself better. A lot has happened in the past 8 months.

I have a feeling that stages 1 & 2 will be largely uneventful for me.

But I'm sticking with it.

Sounds to me like stage 1 is doing exactly what it's supposed to. the insights are a sign of maturity being gained. you eating healthier as well as wanting to go to the gym is also the sub at work. Feeling pissed about your boundaries being crossed in the past also seems to be a common effect of the first couple of stages. You wanting to meet new people is a sign of the extroversion training at work. Your run of stage 1 seems pretty eventful, you just may not be getting the events you expected right now.

Yea I guess when you look at it that way it's true. Although wanting to do something and actually doing it are two different things. I've been telling myself I need to start exercising again but I've been putting it off each time. Perhaps Monday would be a good time to start so I can get myself into a regimen from the get go. It's possible that maybe that's one area that I'm facing some resistance.

Another part where I'm facing some resistance is that I'm still having some issues with shyness around women, and looking them in the eye and the like. It's not like a crippling anxiety but more of a stubborn reluctance. It's still fear based however. But I have faith it'll get better overtime.