Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[Antaeus]

Well i managed to squeeze in my last 13 (make up) hours of stage 1 today. I will be starting stage 2 shortly

[Antaeus]

Okay so something here is nothing short of a miracle. So I just got a new iPad today and I’ve been fooling around with my computer and iTunes trying to get this thing setup. Well recently I read another users post on the forums saying something about not using iTunes Player for subs because it forces the conversion from mp3 to another file type. Supposedly this is not a good thing for the audio but I don’t know, I’m still trying to figure everything out. But while I was fooling around with iTunes trying to restore the backup to my new iPad I got curious and accessed my subs on iTunes and looked st song info and realized they were converted to MPEG files.

Now if what this person was saying is true then I’m glad my iPod Nano crapped out on me because I would’ve wasted two months of my life listening to audio that was having no effect on me. Its a good thing I found the sandisk MP3 player that I am now using because since may 6 I’ve been listening to the correct format. Now I understand why MLS didn’t have much of an effect on me.

Lesson learned. And moving on.

[Greenduck]

I'm sceptical to that the audio conversion would made the subliminal useless. Maybe some decline in effectiveness but not to 0%? BTW. Use VLC, it can play most formats.

[Antaeus]

What is VLC?

[Greenduck]

An app

[Antaeus]

I already downloaded an MP3 downloader app called musicloud (did I mention it also supports FLAC?) but I will still check VLC out.

[Antaeus]

Started stage 2 as of last night. Didn’t post due to trying to get my iPad setup. Haven’t really noticed anything but there again I didn’t go anywhere today. So I need to work on getting out of the house more.

I did have another insight.

I came very close today to becoming a victim of an IRS impersonation scam. Long story short I spoke to the dude, was basically freaking out but quickly caught on to the bs. Luckily I didn’t give him any info besides my name and zip code (which he already had anyway).

But it got me thinking about a few times when some of my fraternity brothers tried to BS me about something to try and pull a joke on me. One of those situations where somebody tries to get you to believe something and get you worked up over nothing. And then reveal that it was just a joke. While done in jest this often left me feeling embarrassed and stupid.

All of these thoughts got me to this one insight,

“I need to wise up. Stop trusting people so easily. Stop being so naive. Stop just believing everything that everybody says all the time.”

So there’s that.

[Antaeus]

Okay so I felt some slight irritation today. Not sure about what. Went to the gym for the first time in a few months today, did a mile in 15 minutes on the treadmill and did arms chest and core. Went pretty well I think. Just need to work myself into a routine and I should be looking and feeling good in due time.

[Antaeus]

Felt some more irritation today. Not enough to lash out at anyone. But some resentment has really come to the surface in my mind that has been unaddressed for a while. Same stuff honestly. But these negative emotions have been showing themselves to me more and more.

Not quite sure how to get out of this funk I’m in. I know I need to go out and socialize but I’m not quite sure where to start. Money is a bit tight so there isn’t much that immediately comes to mind yet that I could do without spending too much money. I’ve thought about contacting one of my fraternity brothers who called me out of the blue a few months back just to have some beers on my back porch. That would be a start at least. Also I am turning 30 in July. Could be an excellent excuse to try and invite some people out and try to reconnect with old friends.

Going to the gym has been doing a fair job of helping me keep a positive mindset. So that’s another thing.

Also been window shopping for some audio gear to upgrade my sub setup.

[Antaeus]

So there are two issues that are concerning me a bit.

1) I feel like I’m looking for any and every little thing I can rationalize as the program working instead of just letting it work. And Im starting to realize that on some occasions I’ve been journaling just to journal to make myself feel better about my so-called progress. Basically bull-shitting myself and not admitting to myself that either nothing significant has happened yet or if it has I haven’t noticed it. I guess since I’m past stage 1 it just feels like I’m not getting anywhere. Maybe I just respond to the program differently but it could be something more worrisome which leads me to issue number 2...

2) Having learned about stonewalling, I’m beginning to worry that I might be a stonewaller. (I know crazy right? I’m worrying about worrying). Do I have proof of this? Admittedly no. But I think it’s a legitimate concern.

I do believe that this program works. I believe in the power of the mind and that changing your mind can change your life. I’ve seen the journals of other sub users who have made astronomical changes in their lives because of this sub and others.

I just need to get past this discouragement...it’s really getting to me.

[Antaeus]

Okay so I have been using the AM6 program continuously since May 6th and I have made it as far as stage 2 but something has been really bothering me.

During stage one there was one night where I believe my speakers came unplugged out of the wall outlet overnight and I believe I missed a night of listening. I understand that there is the formula to figure out how much time to make up. 8 hours overnight is my normal listening time. The way I used the formula (I think I may have used it incorrectly) understanding that it is 1.5xdays missed, I multiplied the 1.5 times the number of hours I usually listen which is 8 and got 12.

My regularly scheduled day to start stage 2 was June 7th. So during that day, as a way to make up for the supposedly lost time I crammed in 12 hours of stage 1 and started stage 2 that night.

Did I do this correctly or not? If I messed this up I would rather know and restart again now instead of doing this the wrong way and wasting 6 months.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Shannon if you happen to see this, do you have any recommendations?

[Antaeus]

Sh*t!!! It turns out I do have restart again!

Oh well. I wanna do this right. So tonight I’ll be starting stage 1.

[Benjamin]

How did you come to the conclusion that you have to start again if that just happened one night? You would have been better continuing where you're from, it doesn't make sense to start from the start again.

[Antaeus]

If you’re talking about the night I actually missed, then that’s not what I’m talking about Ben.

The formula for missed days is 1.5 x days missed right?

I made the mistake of multiplying the 1.5 by the normal number of hours I listen daily which is 8. With that formula I get 12 hours. What I then did was cram the 12 hours into what was my first day of Stage 2 during the day. And then proceeded immediately that night onto stage 2. I did that instead of taking my time and actually adding the 1.5 days at the end of that 32 days.

Perhaps I’m making this makeup days formula more complicated than it needs to be. But I read it in another forum that I need to actually add those extra days. So I would’ve listened for 33.5 days total. But I ended up keeping it at 32 days with 12 hours of stage 1 crammed into my first day of stage 2.