Alpha Male Journal

[SantaRich]

Benjamin, come to Germany, so we can train together ;-)... I had similar effects on my training partners, I told them "is the intensity fair enough?"... they repeated yes and didn´t come back after some training sessions .

In our training, we position our hand in front of our face (mostly in front of nose) in a non aggressive way & have an universal entry technique for entering infight scenarios fast.

If you´re interested in what I do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly6HC2F8z...EBE813563E (it is somehow similar to DogBrothers stuff).

Here are some unusual looking but I am sure effective ways to learn to deal and control with intensity, aka Killer Instinct- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81rsUmgWw...creen&NR=1 & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSSFUNirH...ure=relmfu, these are part of the same video by Paul Vunak, and he is a BAD BAD MOFO. He is fully certified under Dan Inosanto, who was not only best friends with but was solely given permission to train people in this particular person's system, that person being BRUCE LEE!! I actually saw these video's for sale in a catalog and the description made them sound like bullshit, but I really really wish I would have ordered them, studied, and learned from them. I have done some similar stuff with some people I know a while ago, and damn I am really missing training with them, reason I stopped was one of them would throw a bunch of stuff in to mess me up and basically use me as a training dummy and the other who had learned and trained with that guy for years I also felt was using me, but I really do miss it and I will have to call guy A up and start working out with him again, here are some other cool vids, in my opinion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm_KKZJ9SKc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TvZlpKT2ag http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wi7ph8GrR...ure=relmfu & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOZeHAxM3...ure=relmfu

[Morgul]

@Benjamin You're right, another lesson to learn there is following my intuition.

Day 53: These days I've felt, with low intensity (so easy to let go of), fears of aggression by other people. It's like the remaining of the other day, what was moved inside of me. I remember this has happened to me several times in relation to teenage guys. This time I could connect the dots until the times when I was bullied at school... interesting. I remember, back then, I wanted to learn some martial art to let go of those situations. And it's perfectly fine that I didn't, as nowadays I know that the real cause of those problems is the fear itself (sticking to it implies sticking to the problems).

Another thing that has been coming up to me frequently lately, and with big intensity, is that I'm handling really badly not having what I want. I get mad, pissed off, really emo, lol It's something that I'll have to continue cleaning on, as it drains my energy and gets me bad moods. These "wantings" I mean are not heart desires... but silly desires with attachment on the result, that come from the ego.

By the way, I also had new really good things happening to me. For example:

On Saturday night, I approached a group of women that I liked. It was a long time since last time I do that. They were really enjoyable. Nevertheless, in a minute or so, I didn't knew what to say or do... so I said good bye and went away. Overall it was very nice. I realized I'm free from a lot of crap that came with PUA mindset... also from the (few) crap available in other more advanced mindsets, such as Cory Skyy's and Brent Smith's (it's really curious for me to see that they still limit themselves with crap, without seeing it... maybe that's deeply rooted in their egos). The freedom from that crap that tends to happen to others, but not to me, comes from me being genuinely me, and following my intuition and heart.

Later, I realized what caused that to be like that, with that group of cute women. I had the intention of finding a group of really interesting, friendly and approachable women. That's why I found the group in the next club we went to, and why I felt like I would approach them, way before doing it. But when approaching, my sole intention was to talk to them... nothing else, in fact. That caused me to not know what to do in a short time. The solution to that, was simply having the intention put to get to know them, as I actually wanted to but was not clear about. That would have made me flow from there. I learned...

[Morgul]

Day 65: First day of Stage 3. Both last night and the night before that, I went out with friends, different groups of friends each night. I should add that going out two nights in a row is quite uncommon for the old version of me. I had a great time both nights, specially the first one, as I was looking forward to it being a lot of fun (and I had that intention clearly set)... they would play music I really love and I would meet again with old friends. It wasn't a good time... it was an extremely great time!!!

It happened that there were nice women there that I hadn't ever related with before. And I found myself talking to them with ease, very comfortably and relaxed, not caring about anything that happened... I was a lot more genuinely just me! I connected to the women, and they were open with me.

The only tensions I had, were early in the first night, about a particular woman that I felt intimidated with. I let it be, and put an intention to clean that in me, and the cleaning was going on even in the background of my awareness. It shocked me a bit when I saw, that I began talking to her later, lol. I was still a bit intimidated, but I could tell the feeling was dissolving, specially fast after I had talked to her for first time. I also found particularly interesting, that all intimidation about her was completely gone during the night I connected to her as a human being.

It also happened that the guys treated me like a social guy (and I realized I was just that, lol, quite new for me!).

Day 76: 12 days into Stage 3. People have been giving me more more socially proof. I noticed it had to do with my presence, it was stronger. I more easily cause reactions in people now, from just being. Some noticed me and greeted me even before I did anything about them. And I mean people that either don't know me, or have just seen me several times. A particular cute girl would just stare at me, not saying anything to me, not even after me greeting her twice, lol

Yesterday, I woke up with an intense feeling of anger/frustration. I don't consider myself an angry person, I'm not used to handle that in my life... It seems I had built a "good person" façade on top of that, and those feelings were trapped inside. So yesterday I had some hard time dealing with it, and it came out several times, for me to clean... At times I felt like I needed to be alone, like I wanted to cry... So I had to stop distractions and face it, and I got another big part of that released again.

The curious thing about that is, when embodying those feelings of anger - even if I feel it is anger towards women - women seem more interested and attracted to me Nice thing to realize today that, after the release, they don't lose that interest, hehehe Today, women in the street were giving me looks, in the eyes, in the crotch, haha :angel: And it felt to me very natural and normal, not intimidating or harsh at all (as it could happen a lot to me in my past).

By the way, I love to have had the time and focus to post this feedback. I really didn't wanted to leave you guys without some progress information, but I couldn't find the right time, state or content to share with you.

[Benjamin]

Sounds awesome Morgul. Reminds me of my Alpha journey, it was a pretty amazing journey and I look forward to doing 5.0.

The anger was probably there and you pushed it down. I know I did because I learnt it was wrong to express myself as when I did my parents would get more angry, and unfortunately it would build up and explode. I had some extreme anger during Alpha, but also started to become aware of it and was able to catch myself a few times when it was getting too much.

And in the end I become much calmer.

As for them being more interested even with the anger, well it seems your accepting it instead of ignoring it now which is more powerful than pushing it down.

-Ben

[RainbowAbyss]

"The curious thing about that is, when embodying those feelings of anger - even if I feel it is anger towards women - women seem more interested and attracted to me Nice thing to realize today that, after the release, they don't lose that interest, hehehe"

Usually after the release:@ woman will still be interested......but I'm won't be

Morgul, I had not noticed your Journal since I last responded to it, I had no idea you were so far into AM 5.0:idea:. I just read through the rest of it and I absolutely love reading it.. Your progress sounds fantastic and hearing your joy in some of the simpler new things your engaged with makes me realize how jaded I have become in my life lol .Sometimes I forget the purpose of progress or any of this improvement in the first place is to enjoy life more. Its cool how you interweave and are aware of lessons, setting intentions, releasing, awareness (aware of awareness) and intuition (and use of smiley face lol) as all part of your subjective experience through the journey.

[Morgul]

Sounds awesome Morgul. Reminds me of my Alpha journey, it was a pretty amazing journey and I look forward to doing 5.0.

The anger was probably there and you pushed it down. I know I did because I learnt it was wrong to express myself as when I did my parents would get more angry, and unfortunately it would build up and explode. I had some extreme anger during Alpha, but also started to become aware of it and was able to catch myself a few times when it was getting too much.

And in the end I become much calmer.

Yeah, it seems this program brings out the baggage we were carrying from past trauma/drama, in particular the one in the way of the open and transparent expression of our alpha core. So we're encouraged to accept it and heal it, and then our core shines through again.

It can be a bit of a b*tch to experience those feelings again, but it's pointless to keep on postponing their healing for later. That postponing is the real procrastination, the avoidance of dealing with our baggage. What we tend to usually refer as procrastination (the avoidance of taking important actions) is just a mirror of that, the former being the cause.

As for them being more interested even with the anger, well it seems your accepting it instead of ignoring it now which is more powerful than pushing it down.

-Ben

Yes, it might be... It seems women can subconsciously feel when we're letting go of our crap, and that catches their attention. So even bad feelings are present, when we're in releasing relationship with the issues, they're drawn even more to us (as being affected already by the divine perfection that was covered by the issue).

[Morgul]

Morgul, I had not noticed your Journal since I last responded to it, I had no idea you were so far into AM 5.0:idea:. I just read through the rest of it and I absolutely love reading it.. Your progress sounds fantastic and hearing your joy in some of the simpler new things your engaged with makes me realize how jaded I have become in my life lol .Sometimes I forget the purpose of progress or any of this improvement in the first place is to enjoy life more.

Even not posting here often, I've stuck to the program daily, no matter what. I'm already on Day 114, 18 days into Stage 4

Yes, by looking back and comparing the trouble we had with the easiness we have now, we can easily recover our lost happiness from focusing too much on what is still pending to fix, and from forgetting about what we already achieved (and as it's inner change, we keep the deepest benefits until now, unless we covered them with crap again).

Its cool how you interweave and are aware of lessons, setting intentions, releasing, awareness (aware of awareness) and intuition (and use of smiley face lol) as all part of your subjective experience through the journey.

Thank you bro

Oh! Hehehehe, the smileys! :p Yeah, that kind of expressiveness is a side effect I got from relating with women that express openly like that

Seems quite true that behaviors are contagious, so we better watch out who we spend long time with, paying attention and becoming free again from the crap we might get.

Nevertheless, that behavior in particular is something that resonates well within me, it matches me, and women love me for, hahaha I'm 100% into becoming really cute and sexy at the same time, that's my way of authenticity. And what attracts best the kind of women I like (and love) the most.

Thanks again for appreciating what I shared. I'm so glad there is goodness behind everything, both good and bad, life lessons everywhere!