AM 5.0 Journal

[JCasterlin]

Last night I said " fuck it" & purchased AM V6. Turning 50 years old this summer & with the positive change of having a job/career that I not only don't hate going to but will also give me the opportunity to take care of my wife & myself in ways I previously only fantasized about , I felt it is time to do the work necessary to become the man I've always known I can be.Today I start day one of Stage 1.

[Benjamin]

Cool, good luck.

[JCasterlin]

Day 4 Stage 1. I did not expect to get anywhere near as irritable as I have the last couple of days. I've always felt I cared way too much about external situations & the opinions of others. More than anything I want to free myself of the inner drama that takes away from being able to focus on my goals & priorities. I've gotten probably ten plus hours of exposure to Stage 1 the last few days. One of if not the biggest reason I finally decided to purchase AM6 is because I'm so done with feeling like a boy instead of a man

[JCasterlin]

Irritation is a sign that AM6 is working.

Are weird af dreams as well?

[Benjamin]

Yes, one way the subliminal helps process is through dreams. When I first did AM I had alot of dreams of fighting, violence and zombies. Also some about trying to run away or escape things.

[JCasterlin]

Day 6 Stage 1- I am definitely learning to let things go that I used to let get to me. I have been getting between 8-12 hours of listening time in a day. I have intentionally stopped watching television , movies, & YouTube to make more time for listening. I've spent most of my adult life feeling like a scared boy trapped in a mans body. Ending that & becoming the grown man I've always felt I can be is my biggest reason for finally purchasing AM6. I want to be able to handle whatever life throws at me without the immature responses I may have had in the past.
The more I listen the more I let go of the need to seek approval or be concerned with the drama people around me create.

[JCasterlin]

Something else I've noticed is that I feel like I'm more on the same level when I talk to management at my job. I don't feel nervous of below them. Considering the industry I'm in (debt collections) any increase of confidence or unwillingness to give in or deal with b.s. can only help

[Antaeus]

Sounds like you're making good progress. Can't wait to read more.

[JCasterlin]

Day 7 Stage 1- Yesterday I felt great & in the zone all day. Today I feel like I'm dragging a bit. I got home from work quicker than I thought I would yesterday & spent most of the evening & while I slept listening to Stage 1. From reading other journals about AM6 I already know I will be spending the next year or two with it. Unless of course AM7 comes out during that time.

[JCasterlin]

After the first couple of months at my job it got to me that no one was making an effort to be my friend or go out of their way to talk to me although there is various social circles in the office. Granted I don't have a whole lot in common with a lot if not most of the people I work with. Yesterday I realized I don't care about that at all anymore. Its not a concern

[JCasterlin]

Day 8 Stage 1 - I had a rough day yesterday. I let something at work get to me that I later realized is for my improvement & benefit. Sadly it took until the end of the work day for me to realize that. I was moved to a different team . Being that I have been there a total of four months so far it got me a bit concerned. When I really got to thinking about it later & how I want getting the coaching & instruction I wanted to become better from my previous supervisor & talking not just with my new sup but also people that are on my new team & know him well , I know I'm now in the right place. Today I will get my first full day on my new team & my new sup said he is going to spend some one on one time with me to gage where I'm at. He also asked that I make a list of things I want to work on which I have done.
Possibly related but I did delete my social media accounts a bit ago. No real reason to have them as I don't feel I need them any longer.

[JCasterlin]

Day 10 Stage 1- I had my most profitable & productive day in the just over four months I've been at my job/career. I know have no doubts that changing teams to a new supervisor was for the best. I've learned more in two days than I did in three &:! Half months with my previous supervisor. As of Monday I should be at 73% of my goal for the month. I was curious so I brought that up to my supervisor. He said he's not so much impressed by the numbers that are hit but by the initiative & willingness to learn & get better. That's all I've been wanting & willing to do. I really feel Stage 1 is helping me destroy some life long insecurities & self doubts I've had

[findingme]

Day 10 Stage 1- I had my most profitable & productive day in the just over four months I've been at my job/career. I know have no doubts that changing teams to a new supervisor was for the best. I've learned more in two days than I did in three &:! Half months with my previous supervisor. As of Monday I should be at 73% of my goal for the month. I was curious so I brought that up to my supervisor. He said he's not so much impressed by the numbers that are hit but by the initiative & willingness to learn & get better. That's all I've been wanting & willing to do. I really feel Stage 1 is helping me destroy some life long insecurities & self doubts I've had

Thanks for reporting this. I've been considering AM myself for those very same reasons: destroying lifelong insecurities and self-doubts. I'd give up 6 months of my life easily for that! Also, to feel like a man instead of a child when around men (I'm mid 40's). It's a major desire of mine.

I look forward to reading your progress.

[JCasterlin]

Day 10 Stage 1- I had my most profitable & productive day in the just over four months I've been at my job/career. I know have no doubts that changing teams to a new supervisor was for the best. I've learned more in two days than I did in three &:! Half months with my previous supervisor. As of Monday I should be at 73% of my goal for the month. I was curious so I brought that up to my supervisor. He said he's not so much impressed by the numbers that are hit but by the initiative & willingness to learn & get better. That's all I've been wanting & willing to do. I really feel Stage 1 is helping me destroy some life long insecurities & self doubts I've had

Thanks for reporting this. I've been considering AM myself for those very same reasons: destroying lifelong insecurities and self-doubts. I'd give up 6 months of my life easily for that! Also, to feel like a man instead of a child when around men (I'm mid 40's). It's a major desire of mine.

I look forward to reading your progress.

Thank you for your kind words. It will be the best investment you will make for yourself , your future , & your family. My only regret is that I didn't purchase it before a couple of weeks ago. Then again I don't feel I was in the right place or frame of mind to get the maximun benefit from it.