AM 5.0 Journal

[Voytek]

Irritation is a sign that AM6 is working.

Same here while doing AM6 for the first time.

[JCasterlin]

Day 20 Stage 1- Feeling a bit better today. Yesterday I was frustrated with multiple things. At the top of that list was my progression in getting better at my job. Yeah I'm way better than I was when I first started but I also know I have a long way to go. Its often difficult & frustrating to watch people come in with previous or especially those with no experience , come in & do amazing right from the gate. My wife has sad a few times that my ego is what is causing me to sabotage myself. She's probably correct.

[JCasterlin]

Day 21 Stage 1 - Read back what I posted yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why I let anyone else's progress get to me. I was reading in the Men's Product Suggestion section where someone suggested a sub to be less emotionally sensitive & have a thicker skin. Others chimed in that AM6 will deal with that. That's always been a goal of mine. To be able to just shrug off the lame shit people do & say. To not take anything anyone does personally. Although I do think that's part of the maturing process & going from the self image of a boy to the self image of a man.
I started reading King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore. Its started helping me understand where & how I've not only acted immature but I also see it more in other men as well

[Antaeus]

Day 21 Stage 1 - Read back what I posted yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why I let anyone else's progress get to me. I was reading in the Men's Product Suggestion section where someone suggested a sub to be less emotionally sensitive & have a thicker skin. Others chimed in that AM6 will deal with that. That's always been a goal of mine. To be able to just shrug off the lame shit people do & say. To not take anything anyone does personally. Although I do think that's part of the maturing process & going from the self image of a boy to the self image of a man.
I started reading King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore. Its started helping me understand where & how I've not only acted immature but I also see it more in other men as well

That must've been my thread that you read. That's one of the big reasons I started running AM6 to begin with. Not to mention the self confidence and enhanced social presence that comes with it as well.

It's funny that you mention "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" by Moore. I actually have a copy of that book myself, as well as "Fire in the Belly" by Sam Keen. You're inspiring me to do some more reading. Lol.

[JCasterlin]

Day 21 Stage 1 - Read back what I posted yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why I let anyone else's progress get to me. I was reading in the Men's Product Suggestion section where someone suggested a sub to be less emotionally sensitive & have a thicker skin. Others chimed in that AM6 will deal with that. That's always been a goal of mine. To be able to just shrug off the lame shit people do & say. To not take anything anyone does personally. Although I do think that's part of the maturing process & going from the self image of a boy to the self image of a man.
I started reading King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore. Its started helping me understand where & how I've not only acted immature but I also see it more in other men as well

That must've been my thread that you read. That's one of the big reasons I started running AM6 to begin with. Not to mention the self confidence and enhanced social presence that comes with it as well.

It's funny that you mention "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" by Moore. I actually have a copy of that book myself, as well as "Fire in the Belly" by Sam Keen. You're inspiring me to do some more reading. Lol.

I've known about Fire in the Belly since I was in my mid twenties but never read it. I will check that out. I didn't realize that KWML was written when it was. I thought it was from Dr Paul Dobransky who had a program or book about it. I was turned off watching his videos that's so I never perused it further. I saw of video on YouTube where Elliot Hulse recommended KWML so I looked into it again & bought the Kindle version. I haven't finished it but the section on " Boy Psychology " was a huge eye opener for me. It made me look at where I would let my emotions get the best of me be it by losing my temper , taking something personally, or not being able to let something go. I am so done with inner drama.

[Antaeus]

Day 21 Stage 1 - Read back what I posted yesterday. I'm not exactly sure why I let anyone else's progress get to me. I was reading in the Men's Product Suggestion section where someone suggested a sub to be less emotionally sensitive & have a thicker skin. Others chimed in that AM6 will deal with that. That's always been a goal of mine. To be able to just shrug off the lame shit people do & say. To not take anything anyone does personally. Although I do think that's part of the maturing process & going from the self image of a boy to the self image of a man.
I started reading King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore. Its started helping me understand where & how I've not only acted immature but I also see it more in other men as well

That must've been my thread that you read. That's one of the big reasons I started running AM6 to begin with. Not to mention the self confidence and enhanced social presence that comes with it as well.

It's funny that you mention "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" by Moore. I actually have a copy of that book myself, as well as "Fire in the Belly" by Sam Keen. You're inspiring me to do some more reading. Lol.

I've known about Fire in the Belly since I was in my mid twenties but never read it. I will check that out. I didn't realize that KWML was written when it was. I thought it was from Dr Paul Dobransky who had a program or book about it. I was turned off watching his videos that's so I never perused it further. I saw of video on YouTube where Elliot Hulse recommended KWML so I looked into it again & bought the Kindle version. I haven't finished it but the section on " Boy Psychology " was a huge eye opener for me. It made me look at where I would let my emotions get the best of me be it by losing my temper , taking something personally, or not being able to let something go. I am so done with inner drama.

Honestly I have quite a few books on the topic that I've never even touched. Maybe it's time to start getting busy. There is something available though that might be of interest. There is a program that I purchased quote a few years ago from a dating coach by the name of Carlos Xuma. It's called the Alpha Masculinity program, and it contains a TON of information. There are many sections of the program that take from books like KWML, FITB, the Way of the Superior Man and more. It's not necessarily cheap (about $150) but for what you get, that is SEVERAL HOURS of material, it's a great value. Carlos offers a lot of his own insights as well as input from other dating coaches as well. I often don't take dating coaches seriously due to the recurring PUA vibe I get from many of them, but Carlos seems pretty legit.

[JCasterlin]

Day 24 Stage 1 - I'm going to have to change the title of my journal as I realized last night that I have been listening to Stage 1 of AM 5.0 not AM6. Oh well. I own both & never completed a run of 5.0 so here I am. I'm feeling way better than I was a few days ago.I briefly considered putting off some things I wanted to do today only to get everything done & more before 12:30PM. I'm not a huge sports fan by any stretch but as a reward I decided to watch some NHL playoff hockey today. Only sport I've ever enjoyed.
Made the mistake of getting on Facebook yesterday only to quickly remember why I canceled my account in the first place. I'm in such a different frame of mind now. It used to bug me that I don't have really anything in common with people I would meet at a job, online, or whatever. I don't care about that at all anymore. All I want to do is focus on getting better at what I do & becoming a mentally & emotionally healthy man

[DavisMind91]

Day 22 Stage 1 - I'm going to have to change the title of my journal as I realized last night that I have been listening to Stage 1 of AM 5.0 not AM6. Oh well. I own both & never completed a run of 5.0 so here I am. I'm feeling way better than I was a few days ago.I briefly considered putting off some things I wanted to do today only to get everything done & more before 12:30PM. I'm not a huge sports fan by any stretch but as a reward I decided to watch some NHL playoff hockey today. Only sport I've ever enjoyed.
Made the mistake of getting on Facebook yesterday only to quickly remember why I canceled my account in the first place. I'm in such a different frame of mind now. It used to bug me that I don't have really anything in common with people I would meet at a job, online, or whatever. I don't care about that at all anymore. All I want to do is focus on getting better at what I do & becoming a mentally & emotionally healthy man

Yes sir, that’s what I came to realize a year and a half ago. When you’re mentally and emotionally healthy, and give no excuses for remaining weak or messed up on any level, you begin to come out of sync with a majority of the people that surround you on a regular basis. I’ve been at the point for months now where anytime people exhibit weak emotions and/or immature and unhealthy tendencies, I practically take off running, not out of fear but rather as a sign of self-love for myself and not letting people mess up my improvement process just for the sake of fitting in.

The ironic part about fitting in is you limit yourself severely which is why it’s so uncomfortable. To those who know better, it’s like being 7ft tall, 330 lbs and trying to “fit in” to a full size bed, even if you stay there it’s not gonna be pleasant deep down, no matter how much you lie to yourself. Granted, these words are coming from a guy that’s more extroverted and socially popular than he’s ever been before now, so best believe this isn’t coming from a bitter and self-righteous Emo lol.

Even my choice in women is altering thanks to the AM sub. I’m now way more attracted to women that can laugh, smile and joke easily, while still being feminine, classy, and empowered and still knows how to let a man lead. Those are rarer than I thought but I’m not actively looking right now anyway, not until I have it all together because when I do go back on “the hunt”...it will be for high quality women that match my new higher quality mind state. My choice in women has been decent in the past but going forward I’m looking for great. Even the women I lay to bed must now be a higher quality just in case any mishaps cause me to get another woman pregnant, at least it won’t be with an unstable mess, which is ultimately better for the child in the long run too.

[JCasterlin]

Day 22 Stage 1 - I'm going to have to change the title of my journal as I realized last night that I have been listening to Stage 1 of AM 5.0 not AM6. Oh well. I own both & never completed a run of 5.0 so here I am. I'm feeling way better than I was a few days ago.I briefly considered putting off some things I wanted to do today only to get everything done & more before 12:30PM. I'm not a huge sports fan by any stretch but as a reward I decided to watch some NHL playoff hockey today. Only sport I've ever enjoyed.
Made the mistake of getting on Facebook yesterday only to quickly remember why I canceled my account in the first place. I'm in such a different frame of mind now. It used to bug me that I don't have really anything in common with people I would meet at a job, online, or whatever. I don't care about that at all anymore. All I want to do is focus on getting better at what I do & becoming a mentally & emotionally healthy man

Yes sir, that’s what I came to realize a year and a half ago. When you’re mentally and emotionally healthy, and give no excuses for remaining weak or messed up on any level, you begin to come out of sync with a majority of the people that surround you on a regular basis. I’ve been at the point for months now where anytime people exhibit weak emotions and/or immature and unhealthy tendencies, I practically take off running, not out of fear but rather as a sign of self-love for myself and not letting people mess up my improvement process just for the sake of fitting in.

The ironic part about fitting in is you limit yourself severely which is why it’s so uncomfortable. To those who know better, it’s like being 7ft tall, 330 lbs and trying to “fit in” to a full size bed, even if you stay there it’s not gonna be pleasant deep down, no matter how much you lie to yourself. Granted, these words are coming from a guy that’s more extroverted and socially popular than he’s ever been before now, so best believe this isn’t coming from a bitter and self-righteous Emo lol.

Even my choice in women is altering thanks to the AM sub. I’m now way more attracted to women that can laugh, smile and joke easily, while still being feminine, classy, and empowered and still knows how to let a man lead. Those are rarer than I thought but I’m not actively looking right now anyway, not until I have it all together because when I do go back on “the hunt”...it will be for high quality women that match my new higher quality mind state. My choice in women has been decent in the past but going forward I’m looking for great. Even the women I lay to bed must now be a higher quality just in case any mishaps cause me to get another woman pregnant, at least it won’t be with an unstable mess, which is ultimately better for the child in the long run too.

I completely get what you're saying. For most of my life I walked this weird line of trying to fit in & yet wanting to rebel. I've had really long hair most of my adult life with it being the longest its ever been until recently when I cut six inches off it that was nothing but split ends. I tell you this because twice in my twenties I cut my hair very short for two different women. I hated it & as trivial as it may seem now it established the seed of resentment. Not just towards the two women but frustration towards myself for allowing myself to get talked into doing that. I look like a pissed off twelve year old when I have short hair. Its not me at all.
I will ad more later after work

[DavisMind91]

Day 22 Stage 1 - I'm going to have to change the title of my journal as I realized last night that I have been listening to Stage 1 of AM 5.0 not AM6. Oh well. I own both & never completed a run of 5.0 so here I am. I'm feeling way better than I was a few days ago.I briefly considered putting off some things I wanted to do today only to get everything done & more before 12:30PM. I'm not a huge sports fan by any stretch but as a reward I decided to watch some NHL playoff hockey today. Only sport I've ever enjoyed.
Made the mistake of getting on Facebook yesterday only to quickly remember why I canceled my account in the first place. I'm in such a different frame of mind now. It used to bug me that I don't have really anything in common with people I would meet at a job, online, or whatever. I don't care about that at all anymore. All I want to do is focus on getting better at what I do & becoming a mentally & emotionally healthy man

Yes sir, that’s what I came to realize a year and a half ago. When you’re mentally and emotionally healthy, and give no excuses for remaining weak or messed up on any level, you begin to come out of sync with a majority of the people that surround you on a regular basis. I’ve been at the point for months now where anytime people exhibit weak emotions and/or immature and unhealthy tendencies, I practically take off running, not out of fear but rather as a sign of self-love for myself and not letting people mess up my improvement process just for the sake of fitting in.

The ironic part about fitting in is you limit yourself severely which is why it’s so uncomfortable. To those who know better, it’s like being 7ft tall, 330 lbs and trying to “fit in” to a full size bed, even if you stay there it’s not gonna be pleasant deep down, no matter how much you lie to yourself. Granted, these words are coming from a guy that’s more extroverted and socially popular than he’s ever been before now, so best believe this isn’t coming from a bitter and self-righteous Emo lol.

Even my choice in women is altering thanks to the AM sub. I’m now way more attracted to women that can laugh, smile and joke easily, while still being feminine, classy, and empowered and still knows how to let a man lead. Those are rarer than I thought but I’m not actively looking right now anyway, not until I have it all together because when I do go back on “the hunt”...it will be for high quality women that match my new higher quality mind state. My choice in women has been decent in the past but going forward I’m looking for great. Even the women I lay to bed must now be a higher quality just in case any mishaps cause me to get another woman pregnant, at least it won’t be with an unstable mess, which is ultimately better for the child in the long run too.

I completely get what you're saying. For most of my life I walked this weird line of trying to fit in & yet wanting to rebel. I've had really long hair most of my adult life with it being the longest its ever been until recently when I cut six inches off it that was nothing but split ends. I tell you this because twice in my twenties I cut my hair very short for two different women. I hated it & as trivial as it may seem now it established the seed of resentment. Not just towards the two women but frustration towards myself for allowing myself to get talked into doing that. I look like a pissed off twelve year old when I have short hair. Its not me at all.
I will ad more later after work

I understand that feeling, I've made decisions in the past myself that were to make others happy but what I realized is everyone is responsible for their own happiness. Also, even if you do what someone else wants, they can decide at anytime that it's not good enough. If you want to keep your hair long my man, then keep it long. What matters is that you feel comfortable in your own skin.

[JCasterlin]

Day 25 Stage 1 - I've decided that after I complete all six stages of AM5 I'm going to run E2 for six months before starting AM6. I love the growth I'm experiencing with this so far & I can't wait to see what the next year & a half brings

[JCasterlin]

Day 27 Stage 1- Not a whole lot to report. Fighting either allergies or a cold related the the temperature change here. As has been advised I am staying the course. I did briefly consider adding Overcoming Fear 4G to my listening plan but as I've decided to run E2 for six months following my completion of AM5 , I felt that its not necessarily I've read here that E2 is far better for becoming fearless
I've also noticed I'm starting to not seek approval as much or do something to get reassurance. I find that I'm aware more of when I'm about to I stop & ask myself if I need to do this & if so why?

[JCasterlin]

Day 28 AM5 Stage 1 - Slept probably the best I have in a long time last night. Still fighting this cold. I've gone through some of the old AM5 & AM6 journals & a lot of what I'm experiencing is common. I read in one thread that Shannon suggests doing four runs of AM. I am ok with that. I was thinking about it last night how it used to bug me to no end to be the older guy ( I will be 50 July 1st) but then I start contemplating about all the immature things I've said & done. All the bad choices I've made & I realize I had to go through all of that to get to where I am now. Would I change anything ? I seriously doubt it. More than anything I want to finally learn from the mistakes I've made & not repeat them over & over anymore.
I used to think being alpha , whatever that is, was my goal. After reading older threads & posts going back to 2010 I now know that if that happens great. If not that's fine too. I just want to be free of the inner drama & trauma that has kept me from being who I know I am . I honestly thought I might miss Facebook but I don't. Like in a thread someone posted in the Mens Product Section. I want to live my life. With my wife & my cat. I don't want or need acquaintances. Which in reality is all social media friends are. I don't have the time. I told my wife last week how for maybe the first time in my life I feel like a grown ass man. I'm enjoying the AM ride

[JCasterlin]

I know this has been said before about AM but it's so true. This program has the ability to change your life in ways you may not always be aware of & I'm using AM5. When I read what Shannon wrote about the " Ascending Alpha " & where he mentioned Sigma I started researching Sigma Males. One of the primary traits of Sigma Males is freedom. That resonates with me so much as freedom is what I crave more than anything. One of my biggest goals is to become debt free. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that with continued listening of AM & the combined growth & learning I have at my job, I know I will be debt free sooner rather than later