07-04-2019, 07:39 AM
Day 33:
Well, I'm off to not such a great start today. For one thing, a piece of me feels afraid to get out of bed and start my day for some reason.
Another thing is that I'm starting to have negative memories/feelings regarding my past again. Nothing major though, just the usual thoughts arise about my failures in the past and this sense of frustration and pain and anger coming out. Not heavily though.
I also find myself wondering if I truly deserved better than how I was treated in the end. Maybe I did but it's understandable? I dunno, but the thought of how I affected her image of me and how I was treated brings out negative emotions. Less so this time though than in the past, I should note. I'm not obsessing about it and I'm already ready to move onto something else. Still, these things still bother me to at least some extent. Hopefully, I'll be able to move forward more easily as time goes on. I'm not obsessing today, so that's a good sign.
Well, I'm off to not such a great start today. For one thing, a piece of me feels afraid to get out of bed and start my day for some reason.
Another thing is that I'm starting to have negative memories/feelings regarding my past again. Nothing major though, just the usual thoughts arise about my failures in the past and this sense of frustration and pain and anger coming out. Not heavily though.
I also find myself wondering if I truly deserved better than how I was treated in the end. Maybe I did but it's understandable? I dunno, but the thought of how I affected her image of me and how I was treated brings out negative emotions. Less so this time though than in the past, I should note. I'm not obsessing about it and I'm already ready to move onto something else. Still, these things still bother me to at least some extent. Hopefully, I'll be able to move forward more easily as time goes on. I'm not obsessing today, so that's a good sign.