06-21-2019, 01:10 PM
(06-21-2019, 12:49 PM)Shannon Wrote: E3 isn't an excuse to lay back and do nothing. And remember that "disabled" is a label, and nothing more. One that is often used by people who are quite capable, but who don't want to, to have an excuse not to.
I was labeled "disabled" at one time. I realized that it was only dragging me down. So I rejected "disabled" as a label or an identity, and I got on with making the future what I want it to be. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Well, going on disability was an idea how to make some money until I could get steady work, at which point, they'd probably stop paying me, but I'd have steady work. I was particularly hoping to go on disability to get back pay, because then I'd have the money for LTU5. It was supposed to only take a few months, and that was like 2 months ago. But now it looks like they're not going to give me disability pay, which means it'll be longer before I can afford LTU5, which sucks. I otherwise don't care about the label, but I wanted that backpay so I could get LTU5, but it looks like I won't be getting that backpay now. Anyway, I talked to the last guy I wrote for about doing more articles for him, but he suddenly just went silent on me. I just got my admissions letter from USF so as soon as I'm done with my FAFSA application, I'll be in a position to register for classes. So my forward momentum hasn't completely stopped.
I know E3 isn't an excuse to lay back and do nothing, I just... I feel like no matter what I do, I'll still hate myself. And it's very demotivating. I was facing these issues just a few moments ago and despite being fully awake, I crashed onto my bed. The sleeping seems to be related to the inner issues I'm dealing with. Maybe it's an unconscious attempt at escape.