06-09-2019, 04:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-10-2019, 06:08 AM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
I just remembered... there was this anime I remember once watching where this girl was god, but didn't know it, and unconsciously bent reality. I would sometimes daydream I had that power and wonder what I would be like. I came to the conclusion that if I were unknowingly god and unconsciously bent reality, I'd probably create a really shitty life for myself where people mistreat me and things go badly for me. I realized there was something wrong with me. Now I believe <redacted>, and I realize that I have brought about my pain. With all kinds of shitty deeply held beliefs that need to change. And shitty programming. That's what I need to change. My beliefs and my programming. Not my body, not my money, not where I live, not the people around me... That. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still intend to improve my physique and find work, but... even if I changed all those things, I wouldn't be happy without changing my bad beliefs and bad programming. And if I fix my beliefs and programming, I can be happy and live a happy life. But changing those beliefs would require being willing for everything I think I know to change. Because what I think I know is based on faulty programming. But I've got to be able to identify what those faulty beliefs are. I've got to identify the programming that's faulty before I can change it. I guess that's what I'm slowly learning to do: identify my bad programming. I'm hoping E3 will help me identify it and fix it. So far, it's blown me away with what it's been able to do in just one week. So things are looking hopeful.