12-03-2015, 04:30 PM
So I've noticed when I listen to this sub I sort of zone out a bit. I'm starting to wonder if this a defense mechanism that I need to address. A lot of the times in my life when bad stuff happens or I'm dealing with really stressful circumstances I have a bad habit of checking out mentally. I'll put things off and avoid them while everything falls apart. Essentially abandoning responsibility in the hopes that it magically will fix it itself. Stupid I know.
But I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing when it comes to the internal stuff I have to address and move on from. So for example, my subconscious basically points towards an issue that needs resolution and my immediate conscious response is to sort of dissociate. Which I call letting go. The problem is this generates a false sense of peace, where I sort of numb myself out to the problems but they don't gain resolution.
Basically it all boils down to a really really bad habit of avoiding everything that brings me any sort of conflict. It's not healthy because we live in a world full of conflicts and problems and if I can't get a grip on facing these things without pulling back into my shell I'm screwed. At this point I guess I've realized the sub can only do so much and if I keep avoiding what it brings up or presents to me that's something that's hindering my growth.
Come to think of it this is what I usually did when my parents fought when I was a kid. I'm starting to wonder if that's where it started. I learned that if I sort of checked out, unsolvable conflict went away and it just spiraled into something much worse from there as I got older and started using it on everything I found uncomfortable.
But I'm wondering if I'm doing the same thing when it comes to the internal stuff I have to address and move on from. So for example, my subconscious basically points towards an issue that needs resolution and my immediate conscious response is to sort of dissociate. Which I call letting go. The problem is this generates a false sense of peace, where I sort of numb myself out to the problems but they don't gain resolution.
Basically it all boils down to a really really bad habit of avoiding everything that brings me any sort of conflict. It's not healthy because we live in a world full of conflicts and problems and if I can't get a grip on facing these things without pulling back into my shell I'm screwed. At this point I guess I've realized the sub can only do so much and if I keep avoiding what it brings up or presents to me that's something that's hindering my growth.
Come to think of it this is what I usually did when my parents fought when I was a kid. I'm starting to wonder if that's where it started. I learned that if I sort of checked out, unsolvable conflict went away and it just spiraled into something much worse from there as I got older and started using it on everything I found uncomfortable.
