11-12-2015, 08:31 AM
Little update. I've been hammering my mind with this sub nonstop. I've come to realize that I can tolerate a lot of listening.
So far nothing huge, just small shifts in how I respond to fear. The best way I can describe it is no longer being on autopilot when it comes to anxiety. So instead of a knee jerk reaction that snowballs into worse and worse anxiety, I'm able to step in and interrupt that pattern. It's something I always read about and knew I had to do in order to stop feeding the anxiety, but never could. I'd say the sub programming is doing a good job of teaching my subconscious how to respond to fear. Just goes to show you can read all the books you want on how to overcome anxiety, but if your subconscious is stuck in a panic state it doesn't do any good.
A benefit to this is I don't get caught in that awful cycle of resisting the sub and going nowhere because of fear then beating myself up and feeling worse. I still have my rough moments, especially in the morning when my guard is down and all those anxious thoughts flood in.
I've mentioned it before but I struggle a lot with dissociation. It's a terrible coping mechanism that I learned in childhood and followed me into adulthood. I can kind of feel when I'm starting to check out or avoid unpleasant feelings and bring myself back in now. I'd attribute this to the lessening of fear inside of me and less anxiety. Anxiety is usually the culprit behind dissociation.
A few more things. So far I've been having an easier time with my music. Still some avoidance there, but I haven't been running this sub for that long so it's a good sign. Learned some really valuable lessons about trusting my own instincts when creating and to not try to get everything perfect. Also realized I have a fear of learning new things. Or I should say the process of learning. Now that the fear is being reduced I feel like I can concentrate more and if I don't get a concept I don't get stressed about it.
So far so good. I've noticed I can still be thrown off a bit and slip back into old habits if something really anxiety provoking happens. The main one at the moment is lack of income.
So far nothing huge, just small shifts in how I respond to fear. The best way I can describe it is no longer being on autopilot when it comes to anxiety. So instead of a knee jerk reaction that snowballs into worse and worse anxiety, I'm able to step in and interrupt that pattern. It's something I always read about and knew I had to do in order to stop feeding the anxiety, but never could. I'd say the sub programming is doing a good job of teaching my subconscious how to respond to fear. Just goes to show you can read all the books you want on how to overcome anxiety, but if your subconscious is stuck in a panic state it doesn't do any good.
A benefit to this is I don't get caught in that awful cycle of resisting the sub and going nowhere because of fear then beating myself up and feeling worse. I still have my rough moments, especially in the morning when my guard is down and all those anxious thoughts flood in.
I've mentioned it before but I struggle a lot with dissociation. It's a terrible coping mechanism that I learned in childhood and followed me into adulthood. I can kind of feel when I'm starting to check out or avoid unpleasant feelings and bring myself back in now. I'd attribute this to the lessening of fear inside of me and less anxiety. Anxiety is usually the culprit behind dissociation.
A few more things. So far I've been having an easier time with my music. Still some avoidance there, but I haven't been running this sub for that long so it's a good sign. Learned some really valuable lessons about trusting my own instincts when creating and to not try to get everything perfect. Also realized I have a fear of learning new things. Or I should say the process of learning. Now that the fear is being reduced I feel like I can concentrate more and if I don't get a concept I don't get stressed about it.
So far so good. I've noticed I can still be thrown off a bit and slip back into old habits if something really anxiety provoking happens. The main one at the moment is lack of income.
