08-15-2023, 09:14 AM
Day 166,
My inner experience has undergone an improvement.
True to the framework from Dawkins' book of "Letting Go", I've gone through a sufficient patch of Apathy (deemed the lowest level), where I'm now soaked in fear and dread; the quality of which a highly-armed biker gang is coming to your house in broad daylight, and you're left defenseless. Even if you defend yourself, you'd be in legal trouble.
Of course, this isn't actually happening, but I'm undergoing the emotional experience without assigning thoughts, without planning or bargaining or considering myself above the experience of fear. I think that going through OFv.4 gave me a slight spiritual ego about being "above that", when in reality there's still some fear left over, brought on by guilt or shame.
My inner experience has undergone an improvement.
True to the framework from Dawkins' book of "Letting Go", I've gone through a sufficient patch of Apathy (deemed the lowest level), where I'm now soaked in fear and dread; the quality of which a highly-armed biker gang is coming to your house in broad daylight, and you're left defenseless. Even if you defend yourself, you'd be in legal trouble.
Of course, this isn't actually happening, but I'm undergoing the emotional experience without assigning thoughts, without planning or bargaining or considering myself above the experience of fear. I think that going through OFv.4 gave me a slight spiritual ego about being "above that", when in reality there's still some fear left over, brought on by guilt or shame.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
