04-07-2023, 02:41 PM
Things still slow, had some intense dreams and some feeling of hopelessness/giving up vibes. Currently pretty much doing what I can to try to find a job/more work, but it's not panning out for now. Visiting my parents for the Easter break. At least I have some company now. Been practicing singing a little and it makes me feel better.
I do have a fear-based blockage I've encountered and it's related to this potential audition I could sign up to (abroad) but I'm struggling with basic fears: of how badly I'll make an ass out of myself, and the fear of failure (another one). We'll see how this goes, I still have some time to send my application (which I'd have to prepare in a foreign language, but I already took some steps to make sure it looks good. Apart from that I'm also experiencing frustration that this piece I'd have to perform at the audition is not up to snuff (or rather it's not going as well as I would like it to).
My life is kinda crappy and there are few signs of my situation changing in the nearest future. My mum says I could maybe go back to school to study psychology, which is not a bad idea, but it'd involve 3-5 more years of schooling which I'd rather avoid, although the subject has alaways interested me and psychologists are in demand where I'm from (there are too few to meet the demand), so it would be a basis for getting solid work in a socially beneficial subject. I'll have to think on it some more.
I do have a fear-based blockage I've encountered and it's related to this potential audition I could sign up to (abroad) but I'm struggling with basic fears: of how badly I'll make an ass out of myself, and the fear of failure (another one). We'll see how this goes, I still have some time to send my application (which I'd have to prepare in a foreign language, but I already took some steps to make sure it looks good. Apart from that I'm also experiencing frustration that this piece I'd have to perform at the audition is not up to snuff (or rather it's not going as well as I would like it to).
My life is kinda crappy and there are few signs of my situation changing in the nearest future. My mum says I could maybe go back to school to study psychology, which is not a bad idea, but it'd involve 3-5 more years of schooling which I'd rather avoid, although the subject has alaways interested me and psychologists are in demand where I'm from (there are too few to meet the demand), so it would be a basis for getting solid work in a socially beneficial subject. I'll have to think on it some more.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
