02-01-2023, 11:35 PM
Okay, now it's four days off until the 6th.
Currently the program seems to be hitting my shame-sensors in the self-esteem/"I wasted my life and have nothing to show for it" thing I have been obssessing since my psychotic episode about. Hopefully this will clear it out eventually as it's a terrible thing to think. I also have waaaay too much free time on my hands right now and apart from reading books I've no inclination to try other hobbies to fill it out.
I'm getting close to finishing that big translation job I've been doing this past month. Good on me! I do have thoughts that I'm a shitty translator, though, which re-occur at regular intervals. I did, to my shame, accept a couple of small jobs in a field in which I have had no previous experience and thus did a shoddy job, so this has exacerbated the sentiment. I should not accept work I'm not a good fit for, despite the fact that I'm dying for regular work. I accepted out of fear that I'm not making enough money (I am currently comfortable financially though not rich by any means).
Going to give a call to a guy who's supposed to be looking for singers. It'd be choir work, so not exactly a dream come true, but it'd be steady work with an employment contract and all the bells and whistles of that, so let's hope for the best! I could use regular work, TBH, to have job security and not quite as much time to mope about. We'll see. My first singing teacher is really trying to help me out which I very much appreciate. Good guy, that guy.
Currently the program seems to be hitting my shame-sensors in the self-esteem/"I wasted my life and have nothing to show for it" thing I have been obssessing since my psychotic episode about. Hopefully this will clear it out eventually as it's a terrible thing to think. I also have waaaay too much free time on my hands right now and apart from reading books I've no inclination to try other hobbies to fill it out.
I'm getting close to finishing that big translation job I've been doing this past month. Good on me! I do have thoughts that I'm a shitty translator, though, which re-occur at regular intervals. I did, to my shame, accept a couple of small jobs in a field in which I have had no previous experience and thus did a shoddy job, so this has exacerbated the sentiment. I should not accept work I'm not a good fit for, despite the fact that I'm dying for regular work. I accepted out of fear that I'm not making enough money (I am currently comfortable financially though not rich by any means).
Going to give a call to a guy who's supposed to be looking for singers. It'd be choir work, so not exactly a dream come true, but it'd be steady work with an employment contract and all the bells and whistles of that, so let's hope for the best! I could use regular work, TBH, to have job security and not quite as much time to mope about. We'll see. My first singing teacher is really trying to help me out which I very much appreciate. Good guy, that guy.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
