10-02-2021, 07:45 AM
Stage 4 is brutal, and the settings I apparently have to use to overcome my internal resistance are also brutal. This is my Day 2 of Cycle 1, and already today I have had the player fail or turn off no less than nine times now before it is finished playing through my loops. Every time I turn around, it's no longer playing. I have no explanation except my subconscious somehow keeps turning it off. But I keep turning it back on. I feel so exhausted right now that I don't know how I'm going to accomplish anything today at all, and I still have 40 minutes of time to listen left.
Apparently to reach my goals I have to break through the fear and resistance to this change from the strongest part of myself, and it's not going down without a fight. But it's going down. I'm not going to be held back my whole life because this unthinking instinct driven part of my awareness is stuck in memories of poverty as being "home". I don't care if I can do nothing but sleep through this next 2 months, it is going down.
The fact that I am this exhausted tells me that it is fighting with everything it has, and losing. This isn't a fun experience, but I will have my way in the end, and that makes it all worth the trouble.
Apparently to reach my goals I have to break through the fear and resistance to this change from the strongest part of myself, and it's not going down without a fight. But it's going down. I'm not going to be held back my whole life because this unthinking instinct driven part of my awareness is stuck in memories of poverty as being "home". I don't care if I can do nothing but sleep through this next 2 months, it is going down.
The fact that I am this exhausted tells me that it is fighting with everything it has, and losing. This isn't a fun experience, but I will have my way in the end, and that makes it all worth the trouble.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
