OSC 6G

[User_000]

Indeed, i care less about others the more i keep with OSC, i just quit watching streamers, before it was entertaining but now i just get bored, it can be said the same for regular videos, i care more for the content rather than who is sharing it, lately i keep remembering my bad experiences dealing with people and my mood is not the best, sometimes i just want to see everything burn but that's just my anger, also i keep feeling tired for some reason, maybe something to do with my anger.

[User_000]

I think i'm improving, one of my anxiety symptoms consisted on one congested nostril, getting tired and a bit dizzy, also feeling i can't breathe well, just a few days ago when i went out (which makes me feel anxious since unconsciously i believe on the possibility someone could kill me) i felt dizzy which was weird, since OFv3 i never got only dizzy again, then lately i've been feeling it with less intensity and my body gets tense but i only get dizzy nothing else, doesn't make feel like shit which is great.

For the past few days i've been dealing with my compulsive thoughts, same shit as usual, imagining getting killed by a sniper, someone attacks me with an axe, a piano falling on my head and whatever shit my mind comes with to make me feel fear, i just had enough and stopped thinking, don't know how but it worked this time, now i can consciously turn off my wandering thoughts and rest my mind, the first day was a weird feeling, like getting dizzy but comfortable at the same time, then today i just realized i never perceived other people as human beings, only as threats, some shadows roaming my mind and then i just put the image of persons on those shadows and noticed it, that threat was just another human being just like me, there was nothing special, even if it tries to kill me it won't be something from another world, even i could face another human being by myself, most likely this was a belief that was formed when a was a kid and everyone else seemed bigger than me, but now they are small, even a 2 meters guy seems small and fragile, there is nothing special about it, what a joke it was this shit, maybe i can start to relax.

[Shannon]

Fear is usually the belief in some imagined "threat" that isn't real, but responding to it as if it is real.

[User_000]

Looks like the threat no longer exists, just a moment ago something happened that would have triggered my perfectionism and that would have made me feel like worthless shit but my mind is just like "i don't care" and to be honest i don't feel like caring about that mistake, what is so great about trying to do everything perfect? never thought i would think that in my life.

[Shannon]

Looks like the threat no longer exists, just a moment ago something happened that would have triggered my perfectionism and that would have made me feel like worthless shit but my mind is just like "i don't care" and to be honest i don't feel like caring about that mistake, what is so great about trying to do everything perfect? never thought i would think that in my life.

I smell progress.  Sounds good to me!

[User_000]

Since last week my left gums have been hurting more than i'm used to, this is a rare anxiety symptom i had since OFv3 but is so uncommon that there was no need to get into details, so what happens is just that a part of my gums start hurting for a couple of hours and then pain disappear, always happens when i feel anxious as hell or like shit, but since last week started hurting more both up and down which is weird, one day i just took a painkiller and started feeling tired, then my head started hurting and i was getting dizzy but at least my gums were fine, since then they don't hurt as bad, only a bit, and at times i get dizzy as i stated before but at least i can breathe just fine.

[Shannon]

Fascinating. I wonder what triggers the location of the pain.

[User_000]

Maybe has something to do when i went to the dentist as a kid, those were some of the most painful and horrible events of my life, sometimes pain took me down for the whole day, making my head hurt as hell as well as my gums, lots of anxiety, anger, fear. The pain i felt this week kind of reminded me of those times.

[Shannon]

Maybe has something to do when i went to the dentist as a kid, those were some of the most painful and horrible events of my life, sometimes pain took me down for the whole day, making my head hurt as hell as well as my gums, lots of anxiety, anger, fear. The pain i felt this week kind of reminded me of those times.

Quite a valuable insight.  Thank you.