10-25-2020, 04:02 PM
Stage 3 Day 15 (0)
I really don't know what to write about today. I couldn't sleep again; fell asleep around 4 only after I forced myself to masturbate cause I knew this will make me relaxed enough to fall. It's not a bad method but not when you're not even remotely horny. Then I went for a long walk where I was quite angry at my mother and pretty much the entire world. Back at home I felt inspired so I set up some work for tomorrow, did some research and updated my CV. I found it so surprising how little I've changed in the past 3 years since I had to prepare CV. Makes me think if my outlook about the past self if correct.
Other than that... I feel apathetic. I think the style of today's post shows this well. It's the culmination of Autumn sadness so don't expect much, but at the same time things will only get better from here. By the December I should be fine with short days and cold weather. If anything I'm more fine with it than usual, the crisis starting early maybe has something to do with this.
I'm apathetic about tomorrow as well. I know I'll do some good work but I have 0 passion about it and surprisingly little anxiety. I'm just tired I guess, that's all.
I really don't know what to write about today. I couldn't sleep again; fell asleep around 4 only after I forced myself to masturbate cause I knew this will make me relaxed enough to fall. It's not a bad method but not when you're not even remotely horny. Then I went for a long walk where I was quite angry at my mother and pretty much the entire world. Back at home I felt inspired so I set up some work for tomorrow, did some research and updated my CV. I found it so surprising how little I've changed in the past 3 years since I had to prepare CV. Makes me think if my outlook about the past self if correct.
Other than that... I feel apathetic. I think the style of today's post shows this well. It's the culmination of Autumn sadness so don't expect much, but at the same time things will only get better from here. By the December I should be fine with short days and cold weather. If anything I'm more fine with it than usual, the crisis starting early maybe has something to do with this.
I'm apathetic about tomorrow as well. I know I'll do some good work but I have 0 passion about it and surprisingly little anxiety. I'm just tired I guess, that's all.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
