10-22-2020, 12:07 PM
Stage 3 Day 13 (1)
I haven't felt so anxious in a long time. Reason? I care too much and demand too much from myself.
Physically I keep feeling so-so and more on the bad side. Fully functional but tired. I'm going a little bit crazy that I might have COVID - not only one person in the block at my mom's is in a quarantine, but now I've learned that my friend's coworker with whom I met a couple of days ago tested positive. Chances are slim, but the fatigue and brain fog check out.
The most annoying however was that I couldn't fall asleep. I finally managed to do this around 4 AM, this obviously made me skip my alarm clock and wake up around noon with the feeling of a wasted day. Add to that the fact that nothing seems to work at my work and I waste my time banging on the wall and you get a recipe for anxiety. I feel useless, like one, giant failure.
What I hope to do is to get some rest during the weekend. I will forbid myself from working, focus on myself like I did during the summer and get back hard on it on Monday. I hope it will work and by Monday I will feel much better.
And before you ask no, I don't have any problem with breathing, sense of taste or anything like that. With my damned luck I'm almost certain I will not escape coronavirus, but this is not it. And even if it is I'm lucky to have it very mild in comparison.
I haven't felt so anxious in a long time. Reason? I care too much and demand too much from myself.
Physically I keep feeling so-so and more on the bad side. Fully functional but tired. I'm going a little bit crazy that I might have COVID - not only one person in the block at my mom's is in a quarantine, but now I've learned that my friend's coworker with whom I met a couple of days ago tested positive. Chances are slim, but the fatigue and brain fog check out.
The most annoying however was that I couldn't fall asleep. I finally managed to do this around 4 AM, this obviously made me skip my alarm clock and wake up around noon with the feeling of a wasted day. Add to that the fact that nothing seems to work at my work and I waste my time banging on the wall and you get a recipe for anxiety. I feel useless, like one, giant failure.
What I hope to do is to get some rest during the weekend. I will forbid myself from working, focus on myself like I did during the summer and get back hard on it on Monday. I hope it will work and by Monday I will feel much better.
And before you ask no, I don't have any problem with breathing, sense of taste or anything like that. With my damned luck I'm almost certain I will not escape coronavirus, but this is not it. And even if it is I'm lucky to have it very mild in comparison.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
