09-29-2020, 12:24 PM
Stage 2 Day 19 (0)
Oh boy, I'm still tired. I've come up with a amazing idea of going for a 30 km 5 hour long walk. It was worth it but damn, my legs hurt like hell.
To be honest I was planning 20 km max walk but I was listening to some new playlists Spotify threw my way and this is exactly what happens when I listen to good old hits of mine instead of educational podcast. I've had 5 hours of recollections, shadows of the long dead emotions being brought back for a short while and all around great cleaning. I've let my mind wonder of course and I think I've encored for a while at least at all of my emotional issues (that I am aware of of course).
Damn I needed this. I know I complain this a lot recently but these short days really hit me hard and I don't deal well with the new setting. I was Christmas already, maybe then I'll have hope that I can be happy again... :/
Seriously though I've missed this kind of walking. I have forgotten why I was walking. I started not to loose weight but to sweat away my emotions when I was in a bad relationship. I needed space to think and 10 km walks were great for it. Now it's a habit of mine, an excuse to watch some greens, listen to podcasts and have some exercise. But walks stopped being this emotional remedy for me, a sort of walking zen with Stone Sour, Nightwish and Seether in my headphones. I won't be lying, when I was listening to "Song of Myself" by Nightwish I was almost crying today. I'm not easily touched by stuff like that but in such a state of mind these "Leaves of Grass"-esqe lyrics are something hitting me way too deep.
All the thoughts I had during this walk are a treasure trove of ideas and realizations. If some are more important and I remember them tomorrow I'll post these deem worthy here. I think I had like million of them but I was in such a dream-like or rather meditation-like state that I remember only a handful of them, the Nightwish thing being hands down the most important one. Lyrics for Orden Ogan's song were also interesting but I don't think they're important so let's skip that
Oh boy, I'm still tired. I've come up with a amazing idea of going for a 30 km 5 hour long walk. It was worth it but damn, my legs hurt like hell.
To be honest I was planning 20 km max walk but I was listening to some new playlists Spotify threw my way and this is exactly what happens when I listen to good old hits of mine instead of educational podcast. I've had 5 hours of recollections, shadows of the long dead emotions being brought back for a short while and all around great cleaning. I've let my mind wonder of course and I think I've encored for a while at least at all of my emotional issues (that I am aware of of course).
Damn I needed this. I know I complain this a lot recently but these short days really hit me hard and I don't deal well with the new setting. I was Christmas already, maybe then I'll have hope that I can be happy again... :/
Seriously though I've missed this kind of walking. I have forgotten why I was walking. I started not to loose weight but to sweat away my emotions when I was in a bad relationship. I needed space to think and 10 km walks were great for it. Now it's a habit of mine, an excuse to watch some greens, listen to podcasts and have some exercise. But walks stopped being this emotional remedy for me, a sort of walking zen with Stone Sour, Nightwish and Seether in my headphones. I won't be lying, when I was listening to "Song of Myself" by Nightwish I was almost crying today. I'm not easily touched by stuff like that but in such a state of mind these "Leaves of Grass"-esqe lyrics are something hitting me way too deep.
All the thoughts I had during this walk are a treasure trove of ideas and realizations. If some are more important and I remember them tomorrow I'll post these deem worthy here. I think I had like million of them but I was in such a dream-like or rather meditation-like state that I remember only a handful of them, the Nightwish thing being hands down the most important one. Lyrics for Orden Ogan's song were also interesting but I don't think they're important so let's skip that
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
