09-22-2020, 01:38 PM
Stage 2 Day 12 (2)
I hate this stage. It leaves me exhausted and anxious. I feel like every hole, no, every fold even of my brain is being mindf***ed hardcore style without lube by the sub.
Like seriously, I'm so tired at this point. I'm trying to brave this through and power until it's over but I'm not getting much better. Tomorrow I'm supposed to start this sub again and I dread it.
At the same time though, when I ask myself if I wanna run this sub the answer is that it's a shame this stage is not 3 months long! LTU is doing something right to be sure, it's just that, compared to LTU5 or the first stage of 6, it's so balls-to-the-wall.
Failure of NoFap streak not withstanding an interesting example are these flashbacks. You that that feeling when you're reminded of something shameful or stupid you did or said in the past. Well, I get these a couple of times a day, 2-3 on average.
Add to that that I cannot fall asleep because my mind is hyperactive and I cannot wake up because I'm exhausted by my job and workouts. BTW I'm doing well with my work hours goals, however my productivity is kinda poor as I make lots of mistakes and poor judgments.
I'd describe my current status as this - I'm okay physically, I'm okay emotionally, I'm okay financially, I'm okay socially etc., however mentally I'm a sinking ship. Where was that me from a month ago, sharp as a razor's edge and feeling life is magical?
I hate this stage. It leaves me exhausted and anxious. I feel like every hole, no, every fold even of my brain is being mindf***ed hardcore style without lube by the sub.
Like seriously, I'm so tired at this point. I'm trying to brave this through and power until it's over but I'm not getting much better. Tomorrow I'm supposed to start this sub again and I dread it.
At the same time though, when I ask myself if I wanna run this sub the answer is that it's a shame this stage is not 3 months long! LTU is doing something right to be sure, it's just that, compared to LTU5 or the first stage of 6, it's so balls-to-the-wall.
Failure of NoFap streak not withstanding an interesting example are these flashbacks. You that that feeling when you're reminded of something shameful or stupid you did or said in the past. Well, I get these a couple of times a day, 2-3 on average.
Add to that that I cannot fall asleep because my mind is hyperactive and I cannot wake up because I'm exhausted by my job and workouts. BTW I'm doing well with my work hours goals, however my productivity is kinda poor as I make lots of mistakes and poor judgments.
I'd describe my current status as this - I'm okay physically, I'm okay emotionally, I'm okay financially, I'm okay socially etc., however mentally I'm a sinking ship. Where was that me from a month ago, sharp as a razor's edge and feeling life is magical?
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
