08-10-2020, 06:52 PM
The weekend was totally rough, Saw a person's story on Instagram and it caused me to have a panic attack that forced me to confront my ego, my inner demons, and the traumas all within the span of about 30 minutes. I had to call my friend in to really help me process everything that's happening, why it's happening, and if it has any connection to past traumas.
Today, the same friend came to check up on me and become the unofficial therapist for the time being as im approaching my second session. He is farther along the path of life compared to me and has gone through similar things to me so he tries to guide me along a more positive path cause he and I are sensing that my mind and thoughts are being drawn toward the empty, hedonistic, and narcissistic warpath that he trod. the path where he used his pain, caused by women, to carve a warpath to just take and negatively affect the women who were unfortunate enough to meet him. I can sense the same feelings inside of me as well, the feeling and desire to "get back at all the women who somehow wronged me" and carve a warpath of my own with the use of subs and whatnot.
I also mediated with the goal of processing past traumas. I went into my childhood and found the scared child that learned that he couldn't seek the safety and security of his parents and gave him the sorely needed feelings. As i was reliving these traumas and really feeling and processing those emotions until it naturally ran its course, I hugged my child self and imagined him dissipating.
Today, the same friend came to check up on me and become the unofficial therapist for the time being as im approaching my second session. He is farther along the path of life compared to me and has gone through similar things to me so he tries to guide me along a more positive path cause he and I are sensing that my mind and thoughts are being drawn toward the empty, hedonistic, and narcissistic warpath that he trod. the path where he used his pain, caused by women, to carve a warpath to just take and negatively affect the women who were unfortunate enough to meet him. I can sense the same feelings inside of me as well, the feeling and desire to "get back at all the women who somehow wronged me" and carve a warpath of my own with the use of subs and whatnot.
I also mediated with the goal of processing past traumas. I went into my childhood and found the scared child that learned that he couldn't seek the safety and security of his parents and gave him the sorely needed feelings. As i was reliving these traumas and really feeling and processing those emotions until it naturally ran its course, I hugged my child self and imagined him dissipating.
