08-09-2020, 12:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-15-2021, 10:58 AM by tolgaocal80.)
day 71
today something happened that was very unbelieveable for me:
That girl, my ex-flirt (not girlfriend) , as I told, she texted me a month ago.
She send me nudes, asked me for how I will fuck her, etc. after 1 hour of dirty conversations, She will come a month later from a different city to just fuck with me. she is a 6.0-6.5 and 21 years old.
I wouldn't believe this kind of things will happen to me, but here, is happening.
Before, I just wouldn't even talk about sex with a girl with this clearity, and I saw many times she was bs-ing me with questions or with some shaming technics. I just throwed them back to her.
After thinking about that, I guess I realized some effects of SE, (of course AM was there too) :
I accept my sexuality, I accept that I am a human-being, I accept relationships, I can make a relationship, in some of my dreams I was a gay, and was trying to convince people that I am not a gay. And there was another dream, a childhood memory that I dont wanna to remember, I was dealing with it in that dream.
Even in my AM runs, I didn't accept girls into my life, there were some girls who want to talk with me , I just rejected them. But SE worked so deep, so undetectable for me. SE made some things accessible for me.
I didn't want to say before I am sure, I accepted myself. I accepted my humanity.
Now, lets see what happens next !
today something happened that was very unbelieveable for me:
That girl, my ex-flirt (not girlfriend) , as I told, she texted me a month ago.
She send me nudes, asked me for how I will fuck her, etc. after 1 hour of dirty conversations, She will come a month later from a different city to just fuck with me. she is a 6.0-6.5 and 21 years old.
I wouldn't believe this kind of things will happen to me, but here, is happening.
Before, I just wouldn't even talk about sex with a girl with this clearity, and I saw many times she was bs-ing me with questions or with some shaming technics. I just throwed them back to her.
After thinking about that, I guess I realized some effects of SE, (of course AM was there too) :
I accept my sexuality, I accept that I am a human-being, I accept relationships, I can make a relationship, in some of my dreams I was a gay, and was trying to convince people that I am not a gay. And there was another dream, a childhood memory that I dont wanna to remember, I was dealing with it in that dream.
Even in my AM runs, I didn't accept girls into my life, there were some girls who want to talk with me , I just rejected them. But SE worked so deep, so undetectable for me. SE made some things accessible for me.
I didn't want to say before I am sure, I accepted myself. I accepted my humanity.
Now, lets see what happens next !
AM6-1(4.19)--AM6-2(11.19)--SE-5.5G--AM6-3(9.20)--SE 5.5G(3.21)--AM6-S7(6.21)--SM3-1(7.2021)--AM6-4(1.2022)
"To be able to shape your future, you have to be WILLING and ABLE to CHANGE YOUR PARADIGM." - Joel Barker
"To be able to shape your future, you have to be WILLING and ABLE to CHANGE YOUR PARADIGM." - Joel Barker
