Self esteem 5.5G san_hal

[san_hal]

Hi ,


I was on stress relief for 2 weeks.


Yesterday I felt like I needed to do self esteem .

I was reading “6 pillars of self esteem” for couple of days and I saw the effects of low self esteem in my life.

I decided to give Self esteem sub a long term try.


First night yesterday. I run more than 6 loops I guess.


I woke up several times at night.

I had several dreams, each felt like was related to different issues effecting my self esteem.

- one major issue was ebandonment by Dad, this I knew from long time.

- how I felt like people use me, because I was good . 2 dreams about that.

- my fear of exams. I felt like I am not prepared for a test, even though I was prepared. I felt I’ll not be able to remember that stuff.


I am working on plans to tackle these problems in real life.


Solutions i found

- Make a plan to be independent from my father and be better than him.

- say no to things when you feel like you are being used.


- prepare as will as I can (even if not the best preparation . Know that you are good enough) and jump and give the test. ( I think test or exams here includes when someone is testing me about my knowledge or work)

I didn’t dream about previous relationships or about mom. I was wondering why. Maybe I am secure about these things, that’s why.

SE gave me most emotional ups and downs out of ASC,SR,SE

i read a post about SE, and I want get similar feeling as that thread creator got.

Feeling of “ I have seen only a fraction of life and there are infinite possibilities “

I’ll continue until than.


P.S:- I know it’s suggested to run subs and forget. As they will work in background. But I’ll work on these feeling to solve the issue like I did on meditation.

Meditation gave me strength to solve my issue in general . Subs have more direction. That’s good

[Benjamin]

Cool, i'll be watching this. SE is one of the programs i'm interested in after reading the article I commented on recently. Not many people seem to have done it for any length of time, or just not reported on it.

Incase you didn't read it, it's very good. http://arikoinuma.com/blog/2008/07/low-s...-problems/

Reading that made me think that SE would be a good choice for me, and I also started reading the 6 pillars and it breaks it down pretty well. I wonder how much of SE 5.5g covers things that are in that book.

[san_hal]

I do not know what is included in these subs.

But reading though the forum, my intuition tells they have more than any single I can read.
Each sub is like a collection of books on that subject. Compressed and feed to the brain.

[Raz]

i read a post about SE, and I want get similar feeling as that thread creator got.

Feeling of “ I have seen only a fraction of life and there are infinite possibilities “

I’ll continue until than.

I think that was me. But let me tell you this is not something that is in the forefront of my mind all the time. It is just a way of life. IMHO it has equally much to do with always being a non-conformist in the most common societal sense.

And for me this worldview does not automatically translate into taking massive action. This is a long-term game, which is surely amplified by the use of subs, that I curse at times as well. Like everything else this is a double-edged sword.

[thor2014]

A 1000 miles journey begins with a single step. You have taken the step swallowed the red pill welldone so far.

[san_hal]

Got a weird dream yesterday night.

(I might be over analysing here)

- I was spider man( at least had his superpowers). 2 villains , 1 super strength , one like gorilla in batman.
they we trying to defeat me to prove themselves.
I am avoiding them , i know i can handle them but do not want to risk failure or losses on my side.

I got a feeling my father is my limitation, ill not get support from him.

my interpretation :-
1. I have a general fear of failure, i might succeed in the task i take up, but do not want to risk failure( bcoz, i feel people will look down on me).

That is true, I do not take up tasks in real life as i feel like it might not be worth spending myself on it and i fear that even after i spend my energy on it what if i do not succeed.

Implementations:-

- Ill take up tasks and push to the limits just to fail, ill start small (like 200 pushups today), i wanna see how it makes me feel.

- I try to not think of results, ill follow the Sanskrit quote

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते संगोऽस्त्वकर्मणि॥

"Your right is to the duty only, not to the fruits thereof.
Do not act for the results of your deeds and never be attached to not doing the duty."

- Ill remove my dependence on my father get a job and pay him back( even though he is not expecting me to), he is paying for my tuition and stay.


(P.S:- Writing in this forum is like philosophical meditation to me.)

http://thephilosophersmail.com/virtues/p...n-a-guide/

[DarkPlouf]

Good luck with your journey, san_hal.
Hope you don't mind the post.

Cool, i'll be watching this. SE is one of the programs i'm interested in after reading the article I commented on recently. Not many people seem to have done it for any length of time, or just not reported on it.

Incase you didn't read it, it's very good. http://arikoinuma.com/blog/2008/07/low-s...-problems/

Reading that made me think that SE would be a good choice for me, and I also started reading the 6 pillars and it breaks it down pretty well. I wonder how much of SE 5.5g covers things that are in that book.

@Benjamin
Today I was checking if there were any new published study on subliminal stimuli. I found the same old researches reported thousands of time BUT there was something interesting that I didn't fully get the last time I checked:

Ariam, S. and Siller, J. "Effects of Subliminal Oneness Stimuli in Hebrew on Academic Performance of Israeli High School Students. " Journal of Abnormal Psychology (1982):

* 10th grade students were shown subliminal messages in Hebrew saying; "Mommy and I are one", "My teacher and I are one" and "People are walking in the street" (a neutral statement). The Students received the messages four times per week for 6 weeks.

* 6 weeks later, the students exposed to the subliminal statement "Mommy and I are one" scored higher in a maths exam than the other groups.

Psychologists claimed the messages such as "Mommy and I are one" would boost the students self esteem and have an effect to help them learn. Also interestingly when the messages were revealed so the students were aware of what they were receiving the effect failed, giving support to the effectiveness of sending a subliminal message rather than an overt one.

Sadly as it isn't a research from US I couldn't find it in the archives site, so we don't know about the sample size but isn't that sentence and the effects it had curious ? lol. (Also the last sentence is scary)

[THolt]

Hi ,


I was on stress relief for 2 weeks.


Yesterday I felt like I needed to do self esteem .

I was reading “6 pillars of self esteem” for couple of days and I saw the effects of low self esteem in my life.

I decided to give Self esteem sub a long term try.


First night yesterday. I run more than 6 loops I guess.


I woke up several times at night.

I had several dreams, each felt like was related to different issues effecting my self esteem.

- one major issue was ebandonment by Dad, this I knew from long time.

- how I felt like people use me, because I was good . 2 dreams about that.

- my fear of exams. I felt like I am not prepared for a test, even though I was prepared. I felt I’ll not be able to remember that stuff.


I am working on plans to tackle these problems in real life.


Solutions i found

- Make a plan to be independent from my father and be better than him.

- say no to things when you feel like you are being used.


- prepare as will as I can (even if not the best preparation . Know that you are good enough) and jump and give the test. ( I think test or exams here includes when someone is testing me about my knowledge or work)

I didn’t dream about previous relationships or about mom. I was wondering why. Maybe I am secure about these things, that’s why.

SE gave me most emotional ups and downs out of ASC,SR,SE

i read a post about SE, and I want get similar feeling as that thread creator got.

Feeling of “ I have seen only a fraction of life and there are infinite possibilities “

I’ll continue until than.


P.S:- I know it’s suggested to run subs and forget. As they will work in background. But I’ll work on these feeling to solve the issue like I did on meditation.

Meditation gave me strength to solve my issue in general . Subs have more direction. That’s good

I was on SE for several months and liked it before going to MHS. I will resume it soon though.

[san_hal]

Was feeling low yesterday
These days I feel a sense of purpose in life. I see what I want, I know I can get it.

I am more positive and can see my negative thoughts.

Dreams feel very real. I cannot recall them though.
:Superman:

[san_hal]

Yesterday night I woke up felt like I had listened to enough loops , so I remove my sleep headphones folded and kept them on my laptop.


Morning I woke up to see . Laptop has not shutdown( I auto shutdown my laptop after 430 min at is 6 loop of SE). SE IS STILL RUNNING

So I am not listening to recommended 6 loops.


I’ll try keeping lower volume today night.

[san_hal]

Cannot recall my dreams. But they felt real.

I ran 6 loops today.

I feel heavy headed.i get Similar feeling when I learn something new. It must be SE feeding into my brain.

I am optimistic in life.

I have become more accepting of the idea that I deserve better.

[THolt]

Cannot recall my dreams. But they felt real.

I ran 6 loops today.

I feel heavy headed.i get Similar feeling when I learn something new. It must be SE feeding into my brain.

I am optimistic in life.

I have become more accepting of the idea that I deserve better.

I have also noticed this since I have started back on SE 5.5G. There are some deep changes being made. I feel it’s only a matter of time before this becomes the dominant programming.

[san_hal]

I remember 2 dreams from yesterday night.

- one was about a child, how was being unreasonable, I was arguing with it about something, I didn’t get support from my relatives even though I was right.

- I was working in a restaurant , lot of people where ordering food . I was telling my self this is not a difficult job yet I am stressed. What will I do when I join a software job, which is much more stressful.

Interpretation
- first dream must be about my housemate, he was acting stupid and childish yesterday evening.
I have decided to let go of people how donot behave as per my expectations.
My assumption that others are not going to support me is wrong. I have to remember that.
By the end of dream I was able to show a finger to my relatives, that shows I am improving in standing up for what I believe.

- it must be about my fear that I’ll not be able provide what is expected out of me. It is a Low self esteem issue.
I will search for more info on this online.
I will might use disconnect from work stress after this. I have been prone to take to much stress.
That is something I have to improve on.

[san_hal]

Ran Slient version on laptop. I was sick yesterday and did wanna sleep with uncomfortable sleep headphones.

I stopped smoking. I caught fever, fever is like a withdrawal symptom.
I am fine now.

General observation- I am more assertive. I am not worried about what people will think of me.