08-22-2019, 08:07 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-24-2019, 04:33 AM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
I'm on an upswing now, filled with a cautious hope and optimism. I have patterns of complete despair and optimistic hope and enthusiasm. This pattern just keeps going around and around in circles. The despair is enough to make me wanna commit suicide. The optimism isn't nearly as extreme. I'm counting on these subs to do a lot, and I'm also [edited] If I could have any superpower, it'd be the power of heart from Captain Planet. SUUUPER underrated power. I'm hoping to find access to a similar kind of power [ edited] I remain hopeful that with enough personal effort and responsibility, time, subliminals from IML, the Becoming Method and [edited] , I will be able to get what I want out of life, but first I must work out what I want and why I want it and resolve any related issues within myself, which is what's kicking my ass right now. I've got to find a way to heal this situation regarding my ex friend. And I've gotta figure out just what I want on that front, why and how to deal with that. Now the above post covers the what and why, but the how is still a serious issue. Even if I used the becoming method to regain her friendship, I'd still have to get past the fact that she slammed the door in my face when I begged her for forgiveness. Is it possible to re-build a serious, deep, close, trusting and loving friendship with the history we both have? I know I can change, but can she? Maybe if I learn enough [edited], I can bring out all the inner love we both have and build such a friendship, with all the wounds of the past healed, but it still doesn't address the issues I have with NEEDING to do that and it still doesn't address the issues I have with how I was treated in the end. I HAVE to let go of that grudge inside me. I have to heal that. And maybe a part of that can be cured by taking responsibility for my past behaviour and current and future behaviour, but a piece of me still feels hurt and angry that I was refused forgiveness, and I'm not sure how to get past that. That is my current block.
@Shannon and @Benjamin if my mention of [edited] violates rule 4, I will gladly remove this post, so please tell me if it does. I mean no disrespect to your rules and I apologize for breaking that one in the past.
@Shannon and @Benjamin if my mention of [edited] violates rule 4, I will gladly remove this post, so please tell me if it does. I mean no disrespect to your rules and I apologize for breaking that one in the past.
