08-08-2019, 01:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-08-2019, 01:51 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
I should note that he probably DOES feel unappreciated by the family (by mom in particular, but me in particular right now) But was treated poorly and disrespected for 20 years in the military, only to come home and be bullied by my mother. The fact is, dad doesn't treat himself with the respect he would like from others so he has been disrespected in life by people who would seek to control and to exert power. The assertion that dad takes his general frustrations in life out on me is still quite accurate, and applies to my mother as well (although she's been MUCH LESS like that lately) I have always been the dog that my parents kicked to vent their frustrations in life out on and everybody has always defended them because I owe them my life, for they gave birth to me and brought me into this world instead of aborting me. And they did the decent thing and put a roof over my head instead of abandoning me to foster care. They are the gods to whom I owe everything and if I dare stand up for myself I am being disrespectful and unappreciative and there is something wrong with MY behaviour.
The reason dad kicked the door to my room down was because I was locking myself in my room and not responding to his confrontational, bullying behaviour when he overreacted to the discovery that I didn't use the BOGO coupon, and he wanted to show me who was in charge, because I wasn't bending over and taking his abusive treatment. When I undermined him by essentially going over his head and enlisting my mother's help (as she is the matriarch of the family) he was pissy with both of us, but especially me, because his petty dominance assertion was undermined. And because I refused to submit with an apology while he was bullying me. If he has just been calm and mature and talked it out with me like a rational adult instead of flipping out, I would have behaved VERY differently. I'm not saying I wasn't a bit dickish when deliberately undermining him, but that's because he was bullying me and I was essentially like "HAHA! Thought you could bully me without consequence, but you couldn't" and now he's sulking about it, now that his temper tantrums are over.
The reason dad kicked the door to my room down was because I was locking myself in my room and not responding to his confrontational, bullying behaviour when he overreacted to the discovery that I didn't use the BOGO coupon, and he wanted to show me who was in charge, because I wasn't bending over and taking his abusive treatment. When I undermined him by essentially going over his head and enlisting my mother's help (as she is the matriarch of the family) he was pissy with both of us, but especially me, because his petty dominance assertion was undermined. And because I refused to submit with an apology while he was bullying me. If he has just been calm and mature and talked it out with me like a rational adult instead of flipping out, I would have behaved VERY differently. I'm not saying I wasn't a bit dickish when deliberately undermining him, but that's because he was bullying me and I was essentially like "HAHA! Thought you could bully me without consequence, but you couldn't" and now he's sulking about it, now that his temper tantrums are over.
