06-29-2019, 01:58 AM
@Shannon
I think that I'm resisting "happiness and joy" and "overcome victim mentality". Most of the time I don't feel like I deserve happiness, like I need to achieve something or get somewhere before I can be happy. There is no sense of healthy contentment in present moment which I think also ties in with procrastination. Because I put immense pressure on myself to get work done. Sooner or later I quit because of the pressure and get sad, depressed and feel shame for being a failure and the cycle repeats. It's this constant yo-yo effect I can't seem to break out of.
Btw, lately my anxiety and sense of fear has reduced significantly, also my self esteem almost through the roof, I'm surprised how I still handle myself in this confident and cocky manner even when depressed, its very nice and effortless.
I think that I'm resisting "happiness and joy" and "overcome victim mentality". Most of the time I don't feel like I deserve happiness, like I need to achieve something or get somewhere before I can be happy. There is no sense of healthy contentment in present moment which I think also ties in with procrastination. Because I put immense pressure on myself to get work done. Sooner or later I quit because of the pressure and get sad, depressed and feel shame for being a failure and the cycle repeats. It's this constant yo-yo effect I can't seem to break out of.
Btw, lately my anxiety and sense of fear has reduced significantly, also my self esteem almost through the roof, I'm surprised how I still handle myself in this confident and cocky manner even when depressed, its very nice and effortless.
