06-07-2019, 06:34 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-07-2019, 07:15 PM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
(06-07-2019, 06:03 PM)Benjamin Wrote:Quote:I can say this: since going on E3, I haven't had any major periods of depression or beating myself up in self hatred. I dunno if that's because of E3 or just coincidence, I'm not really sure. But I've been at least more functional lately.
So you've had those periods consistently before, and now you use E3 and suddenly "Oh I don't know if it's E3".
Sounds like any result you get you're just going to excuse away. If it's only happened after you've started then it's not a coincidence.
Well, it could've been an internal change I made since about a week ago shortly before using E3, I consciously made the decision to be open to just letting go of my ex-friend forgiving myself and moving on, getting used to the idea that I might never have any sort of contact with her again, and deciding to just accept that. I haven't had any of such periods since making that conscious decision, so no, I DON'T know if it's E3, it COULD be E3 or it COULD be that conscious decision I made. But then that conscious decision could have happened because E2 made it possible, so who knows? I didn't write about it because I couldn't be sure if that decision would stick or if I'd revert back to my old habits. So far, I haven't. That could be due to E2 and it could be due to E3. The Naturalizer even makes it harder to tell how much, if any, involvement E2 and/or E3. And then again, although I decided to get used to the thought I might never have contact with her again, I've also said to myself if I CAN use the becoming method to get her back sometime down the line, I intend to, but I also accept that by that time, I might not care enough anymore, so I'm no longer harping on the subject. Maybe E2 or E3 make it possible for me to do that. Maybe they don't. Listen, if I were going to just "excuse away" all progress by E3, why would I have bought it and why would I continue to use it? I still believe E3 helps me, I'm just not sure what's the doing of E3 and what's due to other factors, and the naturalizer only makes it harder to draw that distinction. But that doesn't mean I'm discounting E3, just that I'm acknowledging the multiple factors involved and saying I don't know how much of what is due to what.
