06-05-2019, 11:27 PM
(06-05-2019, 02:05 PM)EvolvingPhoenix Wrote: Day 5:
I feel so far off from where I want to be. I don't even have a means of steady income yet, i dont have my daily habits in order, I can't play an instrument, my physique is still skinny, etc. Etc. It feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle to become somebody I respect. And I've got all this healing to do while I slowly try to get my shit together. Still, I've come a long way from suicidal which is where i was at 2 months ago. If you go back 2 months ago on my E2 journal, you can see how suicidal I was. So maybe these subs have been working. Still, it feels like I've got a long way to go and I'm getting there slowly.
You are talking about life like it’s a competition. It’s not. It’s up to you what it should be. You don’t have to be muscular to respect yourself. You don’t have to play an instrument to feel good about yourself. You don’t even have to have a steady income to feel good about yourself. All of that come from the inside. Look for the feeling inside, get to know yourself, read books and explore who you are and who you want to become. Life is a journey we take on and we do it every day, not because we have to, maybe some days, but life is an exciting journey of curiosity if you want it to be. It can be hard to see that when you are depressed but with time I’m sure you will come to appreciate it in those terms.
