Self esteem 5.5G san_hal

[THolt]

Hi ,


I was on stress relief for 2 weeks.


Yesterday I felt like I needed to do self esteem .

I was reading “6 pillars of self esteem” for couple of days and I saw the effects of low self esteem in my life.

I decided to give Self esteem sub a long term try.


First night yesterday. I run more than 6 loops I guess.


I woke up several times at night.

I had several dreams, each felt like was related to different issues effecting my self esteem.

- one major issue was ebandonment by Dad, this I knew from long time.

- how I felt like people use me, because I was good . 2 dreams about that.

- my fear of exams. I felt like I am not prepared for a test, even though I was prepared. I felt I’ll not be able to remember that stuff.


I am working on plans to tackle these problems in real life.


Solutions i found

- Make a plan to be independent from my father and be better than him.

- say no to things when you feel like you are being used.


- prepare as will as I can (even if not the best preparation . Know that you are good enough) and jump and give the test. ( I think test or exams here includes when someone is testing me about my knowledge or work)

I didn’t dream about previous relationships or about mom. I was wondering why. Maybe I am secure about these things, that’s why.

SE gave me most emotional ups and downs out of ASC,SR,SE

i read a post about SE, and I want get similar feeling as that thread creator got.

Feeling of “ I have seen only a fraction of life and there are infinite possibilities “

I’ll continue until than.


P.S:- I know it’s suggested to run subs and forget. As they will work in background. But I’ll work on these feeling to solve the issue like I did on meditation.

Meditation gave me strength to solve my issue in general . Subs have more direction. That’s good

I was on SE for several months and liked it before going to MHS. I will resume it soon though.