JAKE'S EHPRA 2.0

[Jake2015]

Day 45 - Update

While I await for Shannon to return and to reply to my post above I decided I will add an update.

Even though Shannon has suggested I have trauma I'm totally unaware of this as nothing really heavy has happened in my life that wouldnt or hasnt happened in the life of an average child brought up in the west.


That being said I owe my sincerest thanks to Nemanja who gave me so much needed information.

Thank you to Daredevil too for offering his insights too and sharing his expertise and experience.

So first the update:

Any noticeable change, NO.

Any dreams NO - not since the 2 nightmares in 1 night I had which is journaled above.

Listening has been 8hours per day however past few days have been around 6-7hours.

I wonder if Masked via earphone are the real reason for my dreams rather than US however I'm still hoping that US is working on me as I do not have the time to play Masked in the day. If I'm not listening to music or watching a movie I'm asleep or out side and thus masked will usually interfere.

As I type this though I have pushed to listen to masked via earphones at this very moment, since this post typing isn't anything that needs me to listen to other music etc.

So besides noticing nothing else, my pattern of sleep has gone bad again but that isn't the sub, that is the exam season at university.

I am majorly procrastinating again and fearing opening my books to prepare for the finals and this is unfortunate.

I am also feeling apathy, that is I am not feeling fear at failing if I don't study and this clearly is an ego/defence mechanism stopping me from studying. I however have felt the nerves a little during the past few days when I have sat for tests or exams for various courses.

I however am moving into action at times due to deadlines and this is the only reason. The fear of messing up or rather the fear of the deadline passing without doing work is the only reason I seem to get into action for studying and this is unfortunate indeed.

I want to study, I desire to know the information, to show the teachers and my peers that I'm aware of the information and to be able to connect what I know to other new pieces of information that is presented to us as well as be able to connect it to real life situations but I'm not studying.

I come home, and I become lazy. I come home and I sit for hours watching youtube videos and eating and feeling tired. I am lazy when I get home and I'm not able to get into action :/ and I don't know why.

Beyond these habits and feelings having remained unchanged there is nothing else that I can say as I cannot notice or feel any clearing has occurred.

Clearly E2 hasnt worked on anything related to my procrastination or lack of action in the case of studying nor on my state of self-sabotage that is also a part of this.

If E2 has worked on me, I'm absolutely and totally oblivious to it or not focused on that area of my life however in reality I cannot say my reactions or feelings to a pretty girl, or a disturbing insect has changed.

Not having any dreams has disappointed me since I saw those as a way to gauge success of E2 working and since the 2 nightmares in the same night, (which i can't remember at all if was because I may have listened to masked via earphones) nothing has happened.

I havent fapped in I think 3 weeks now or near to 3 weeks and even though I look at pornsites and see the images or thumbnails of the pictures I'm not feeling any change in horniness/arousal. So my drive has either reduced or been suppressed perhaps.

SO what now?

Well as you all know (if you are following me, and if you aren't HELLO why not? lol - joking) Shannon asked if I have tried DMSI.

I havent and hadn't as I thought it was ONLY there to deal with 'sexiness' and this isn't my priority.

As a recap, I had tried MLS 5G and noticed nothing at which time Shannon suggested that this was due to MLS 5G having scripting errors and then to try E2 to clear the obstacles/resistance/selfsabotaging towards success.

I havent been able to get into a pattern I believe until now as Shannon assured me that even playing US via a phone is still offering around 45% power of the total you would get from playing on 20khz stereo speakers and I like those odds so I'm happy to know that I can play US basically at most times now without reason to not.

I got a lot of advice from Nemanja, due to his post above.

DMSI would smash my internal garbage in a way E2 wouldnt however as a poor student, I couldnt justify nor afford the price of a current experimental sub when I'm still at the 'is this working or not working or is the masked working on me better than the US' stage of my listening.

I also learnt that when MLS 5.5G is released, then it will be more or equally powerful as DMSI at clearing the issues INSIDE of me that create obstacles of self sabotage or neglect or procrastination for when it comes to all things related to studying.

This means rather than E2 which purportedly works on all issues holistically this newer sub will work specifically and categorically on those issues that I NEED immediately help with.

This is pretty darn terrific indeed.

So the plan has somewhat changed now.

I hope I can get more confirmation of this from Shannon as he is after all the creator of the subs but until then the plan is simple...

As I cannot afford nor justify the purchase of DMSI, I will remain and continue with E2 in the hope that it will still clear away garbage inside of me.

I will then following guidance from Shannon take any necessary breaks from subs before then moving on to MLS 5.5G once it is released.

If Shannon doesn't agree with this strategy or says that MLS 5.5G won't clear the issues better than E2, then of course ill just remain on E2.

I will then use the clearing element of MLS5.5G for as long as is instructed by the subs protocols or for as long as I need to (inline with said protocols) in the hope and expectation of issues being removed and then to move onto a track B of MLS 5.5G, if it falls in the same created usage/design as DMSI to better install the programming needed to make me a successful student superstar.

So if anyone reading this has any insights or advice or questions then please fire away..... thanks for reading