07-20-2016, 12:28 AM
I've had doubts about every sub that I've run at one point. About if they work at least. With E2 I have no doubts (any more), but it will take time until you start noticing how the sub works on you from the inside. Once you notice it, you will always notice the playful progress. Sometimes a step or two forward, sometimes a step backward.
One way to see progress is that some things don't bother you as much.
A small example: There's this problem at where I live (mentioned it in my journal I think) that there's occasionally a lot of noise during the night hours. When that happens and I wake up, I would get insanely mad. Past night was one of them, I woke up, however I couldn't get mad, so I didn't get up to go and yell at my siblings to turn that shit down. The anger usually would keep me up for a few hours even if the noise is turned down. So even if I'd get up it wouldn't save me from the rush of adrenaline that would keep me up all night.
But this time, it bothered me a little, but I didn't get mad. I didn't get out of bed, but instead fell back asleep within probably like 20 minutes. Of course I don't think this is the best solution to this problem and I don't actually like to become this passive, but this is good in that if it doesn't get me worked up, I won't be adding to the problem of keeping me awake.
One way to see progress is that some things don't bother you as much.
A small example: There's this problem at where I live (mentioned it in my journal I think) that there's occasionally a lot of noise during the night hours. When that happens and I wake up, I would get insanely mad. Past night was one of them, I woke up, however I couldn't get mad, so I didn't get up to go and yell at my siblings to turn that shit down. The anger usually would keep me up for a few hours even if the noise is turned down. So even if I'd get up it wouldn't save me from the rush of adrenaline that would keep me up all night.
But this time, it bothered me a little, but I didn't get mad. I didn't get out of bed, but instead fell back asleep within probably like 20 minutes. Of course I don't think this is the best solution to this problem and I don't actually like to become this passive, but this is good in that if it doesn't get me worked up, I won't be adding to the problem of keeping me awake.
