A very quick update:
I have exams and so haven't been able to write a detailed update.
I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still listening and I'm still continuing.
I am averaging around 19hrs a day listening via silent track on my laptop and at night with my speakers.
Read my journal to know what day I am at so far.
That being said, besides maybe a dream here and there (which is more I think connected to listening with headphones), there is absolutely nothing else to report.
I am seeing that nothing in myself has changed.
I am still avoiding or procrastinating from studying and the 'pain' of cramming information and the 'pain' of learning information and trying to push it into my mind.
I am procrastinating from the overload of information too.
I see other students, a friend here and there who are in the same boat as me BUT are able to just get into the information and make notes. They have shared those notes with me.
It disturbs me that these people are able to attack the information and make notes and I cannot.
I rather come here and write this update, or think about what to eat, or chat on the phone, or do this or that, rather than study.
Before anyone asks, I do want to study, i want to learn and I want to be the best that I can be.
The other disturbance is that so far, I have not noticed any results. I read journals where others have noticed enough to claim that E2 is working on them. I have not.
My sleep cycle is completely off sync which I'm sure is due to stress, or apathy to the stress and other poor lifestyle changes but this hasnt improved.
I also now remember that I feel no sense of stress or loss to failing, its as if I'm in a cycle of thought where I feel don't worry there are always resits in the summer. I know this attitude isn't serving me as it also is connected to my perfectionist behaviour, that come summer I will do x, y, z, I will do this and this and change myself around.
Others feel that sense of dread if they fail, I don't and I do believe its a deeper sense of apathy or numbness and perhaps its a defence mechanism that has installed this into me - from where I do not know.
So I just wanted to give this update.
For those too lazy to read my journal, well I have listened for 12days so far, and today is the 5th day where I am listening for 8hours minimum a day. The first days were a slow hourly daily buildup to the 8hours a day.
If anyone has any advice, any words of wisdom or encouragement then please jump on board...I need it! thank you
I have exams and so haven't been able to write a detailed update.
I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still listening and I'm still continuing.
I am averaging around 19hrs a day listening via silent track on my laptop and at night with my speakers.
Read my journal to know what day I am at so far.
That being said, besides maybe a dream here and there (which is more I think connected to listening with headphones), there is absolutely nothing else to report.
I am seeing that nothing in myself has changed.
I am still avoiding or procrastinating from studying and the 'pain' of cramming information and the 'pain' of learning information and trying to push it into my mind.
I am procrastinating from the overload of information too.
I see other students, a friend here and there who are in the same boat as me BUT are able to just get into the information and make notes. They have shared those notes with me.
It disturbs me that these people are able to attack the information and make notes and I cannot.
I rather come here and write this update, or think about what to eat, or chat on the phone, or do this or that, rather than study.
Before anyone asks, I do want to study, i want to learn and I want to be the best that I can be.
The other disturbance is that so far, I have not noticed any results. I read journals where others have noticed enough to claim that E2 is working on them. I have not.
My sleep cycle is completely off sync which I'm sure is due to stress, or apathy to the stress and other poor lifestyle changes but this hasnt improved.
I also now remember that I feel no sense of stress or loss to failing, its as if I'm in a cycle of thought where I feel don't worry there are always resits in the summer. I know this attitude isn't serving me as it also is connected to my perfectionist behaviour, that come summer I will do x, y, z, I will do this and this and change myself around.
Others feel that sense of dread if they fail, I don't and I do believe its a deeper sense of apathy or numbness and perhaps its a defence mechanism that has installed this into me - from where I do not know.
So I just wanted to give this update.
For those too lazy to read my journal, well I have listened for 12days so far, and today is the 5th day where I am listening for 8hours minimum a day. The first days were a slow hourly daily buildup to the 8hours a day.
If anyone has any advice, any words of wisdom or encouragement then please jump on board...I need it! thank you
OF3 5.75.7G 13/15Vol
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
1L-2O/3OF; (1L-2/2 5/6); (2L 19/6); (3L 27/6); (4L 9/7); (H4L 25/7)
W 19 May
MLS 5.5G: ≈70days x2, IYGSH: 54, E2: 78+48, DMSI 3.2: 56 & 22, UMOP1: 57+UMOP2: 33 = 90+10 US v12/15=100, OF: 45, OF2: 56days
