Day 97
I'm testing reduced hours, but just getting into it. The whole of yesterday felt a lot better than before; I felt I needed to sleep a lot, taking two long naps during the day (like today), but I also felt 'better'. I didn't feel good, in fact there was something like a sadness that I felt throughout the day, but it felt good in some way. This is more like I felt in the earlier stages with E2, and haven't for a while. I saw Ben is testing only listening during the day, and in light of some old experiences I think it could be a good idea. Also, I've always listened at night the two years, except for when I haven't been able to.
Then another thing. I don't know if its that I did AOSI for a few days sometime ago, or if its that I've been doing this 'energy circulation' thing throughout the days, but I've been watching a lot of porn recently. I think its almost daily now - at some point I didn't watch any in months. Not going all the way still, but its getting dangerously close. Today, a while ago, I watched some (btw... shana lane. holy shit, boys. there's just something about those feline faces like hers. I know a blonde like that - we went out but I didn't push it enough then. similar facial expressions.), and then took another long nap. Since then I've been feeling... pleasurable. Like I'm trying to keep my eyes from rolling over pleasurable. I was trying to read a book about TRE just now, but I can't concentrate at all; just like to breathe and make that circle go round 'n round.
E: Oh forgot, I think I'll make a playlist with 3 or 4 loops and just press play on that when I go to sleep. So later in the night, when I'm dreaming more, the sub will not be playing. I'll then do the remaining hours during the day and/or evening.
I'm testing reduced hours, but just getting into it. The whole of yesterday felt a lot better than before; I felt I needed to sleep a lot, taking two long naps during the day (like today), but I also felt 'better'. I didn't feel good, in fact there was something like a sadness that I felt throughout the day, but it felt good in some way. This is more like I felt in the earlier stages with E2, and haven't for a while. I saw Ben is testing only listening during the day, and in light of some old experiences I think it could be a good idea. Also, I've always listened at night the two years, except for when I haven't been able to.
Then another thing. I don't know if its that I did AOSI for a few days sometime ago, or if its that I've been doing this 'energy circulation' thing throughout the days, but I've been watching a lot of porn recently. I think its almost daily now - at some point I didn't watch any in months. Not going all the way still, but its getting dangerously close. Today, a while ago, I watched some (btw... shana lane. holy shit, boys. there's just something about those feline faces like hers. I know a blonde like that - we went out but I didn't push it enough then. similar facial expressions.), and then took another long nap. Since then I've been feeling... pleasurable. Like I'm trying to keep my eyes from rolling over pleasurable. I was trying to read a book about TRE just now, but I can't concentrate at all; just like to breathe and make that circle go round 'n round.
E: Oh forgot, I think I'll make a playlist with 3 or 4 loops and just press play on that when I go to sleep. So later in the night, when I'm dreaming more, the sub will not be playing. I'll then do the remaining hours during the day and/or evening.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
