03-19-2016, 05:21 AM
Day 13
I'm feeling really clear right now. Been thinking about what i want a lot.. and there are so many conflicting wants. I want to be happy in the short term and the long term, I want to make other specific people happy, I want to select the globally best option, I want to be like this and that image of a successful or alpha male by this and that writer, I want to stay consistent to what I've thought and done before, I want to be strong, I want my life to matter, I want to contribute, ... lol. That's a lot to consider - no wonder everything's been so ****** hard.
What's different is that I don't want to read about how this and that authority would handle my decisions. I've done plenty of that already. I'm getting to know what I actually want for myself and trying to live like that, which is all I've ever really wanted anyways. I guess that's self validation.
I'm feeling really clear right now. Been thinking about what i want a lot.. and there are so many conflicting wants. I want to be happy in the short term and the long term, I want to make other specific people happy, I want to select the globally best option, I want to be like this and that image of a successful or alpha male by this and that writer, I want to stay consistent to what I've thought and done before, I want to be strong, I want my life to matter, I want to contribute, ... lol. That's a lot to consider - no wonder everything's been so ****** hard.
What's different is that I don't want to read about how this and that authority would handle my decisions. I've done plenty of that already. I'm getting to know what I actually want for myself and trying to live like that, which is all I've ever really wanted anyways. I guess that's self validation.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
