Aventus's prelude to greatness (OGSF)

[Bliss]

Day 28
After watching the movie Kairo i started thinking about how my life is right now. The internet is a great place for many people to connect with others and yet it makes people feel more isolated. I wonder how the aspect of loneliness and being a "shut in" has affected me as a person. In the movie, the people who entered these shut in places lose their will to live and eventually just disappear from the world leaving a black stain in the wall. Sometimes im just as afraid of losing it.

I started thinking about my life and its own meaning to it. It seems like I havent found it yet. My life feels almost surreal and fake. Thats the part that truely scares me. Where is my meaning in this world? Is there a meaning dor this world? Like many of the black marks in the world, I sometimes in the back of mind I cry out "help me".

Where is my life heading?
How do i feel more "real" in this life?
How do I feel?
I dont think I have truely felt anything. How do i feel again? Almost like I havent had genuine feelings anymore.

If it helps at all, I had the exact same thoughts and feelings running through me only a few days ago. I felt like my life had no meaning, that everything was hopeless, that I was truly alone and helpless to ever see the light again.

It was my guilt/fear/shame trying to hold on tightly. You are very close to a newfound freedom. I honestly look back on myself and my life just a few weeks ago and I can't believe the change.

It is always darkest before the dawn. Stick in there buddy