Sean's AM Journal

[Shannon]

Don't thank me yet. I have some major goodies coming down the pipe now. Like X124... hehe

[Sean]

Yer killin' me, Smalls.

[Benjamin]

Good job Sean.. I like how you dealt with it.

She may be upset now, but when you stick to it I predict she will start showing some respect.

[Sean]

Good job Sean.. I like how you dealt with it.

She may be upset now, but when you stick to it I predict she will start showing some respect.

Unlikely. The best I expect from her is poorly concealed contempt. You can't reason with batcrap crazy, mate.

[DarthSussudio]

You can't reason with batcrap crazy, mate.

You got that right.

Reading this story made my teeth grind Sean, sorry you have to go through this. My parents went through a pretty ugly "amiable" divorce. I am lucky in that I had two more or less functional adults as parents, both wanted what they thought was best for me both worked hard to get it. Sadly, their area of dysfunction was each other and they'd use me to get at each other. Years later my father told me he should have just let my mom raise me, and kept out of it since I was getting mixed signals from them contradicting each other. He was a bit of a tyrant, I was essentially half raised by Red Foreman if you know who that is.

Don't think of your past self as a "betachump", you made the best decisions in the moment that you were equipped to make and moving forward in the future you can improve and update your decision processes. Non-reaction is useful when dealing with malfunctioning humans.

Anyway, I am sure you're making the best decisions for your daughter first, and then taking care of yourself. Hang in there mang.

[Sean]

DS, you can bet the farm on me keeping my daughter's best interests at heart.

[Sean]

I seem to have kicked the holiday blues, and things are more upbeat lately.

I got into a disagreement with my teenaged son the other day, because he was bailing on the first part of our weekend plans. We were both stubborn, and he wouldn't apologize for his disrespect. We got it patched up, and still managed half of our plans.

One thing I noticed during the disagreement is that I was really reactive, and my hurt feelings were leading me toward retaliatory thoughts, like canceling the time we were to spend together during Christmas, which was clearly an overreaction and inappropriate. Fortunately, I was able to keep that under control and not spew that crap on a teenager.

I love my boy, and I'm very grateful we've patched things up.

[Spiral]

Good for you Sean.

[Sean]

Stage 4, 23 nights completed

Following the pattern established in the prior three months, things are really smoothing out during the second half of this stage. I'm not noticing any drastic changes to my behavior or emotional in the latter half.

Looking back over the past three weeks, though:

1. I called a guy out for texting on his cell phone in a theater. In the past, I've seethed impotently when this has happened.
2. I flirted, without attachment to outcome, pretty successfully with a pretty hostess who responded very well. This is an old behavior that I'm glad to have back with the just-having-fun paradigm. It feels SO GOOD.
3. I told my ex that there would be no more nice deeds, favors, or sacrifices made for her, spelling out clearly that I won't accept poor treatment anymore.
4. I'm standing up to my boss with increasing success, blunting his bullying with my own confidence and ethical standards.

The Naturalizer is like a ninja: I had to review my posts to remind me of all these things. My progress this month is amazing.

[DarthSussudio]

1. I called a guy out for texting on his cell phone in a theater. In the past, I've seethed impotently when this has happened.

Haha.

I did this a while back. All throughout previews and the title sequence to a movie I'd been eagerly awaiting I ignored the texting woman sitting next to me with her date. I kept thinking "Once the movie starts she'll stop..."

She did not. And she wasn't the only one.

So I said in a loud voice "Excuse me, would you mind doing me a favor?" She looked up all "I'm a hot b!t#h, what do you want?" Even louder "Would you please turn that thing off, I'm trying to watch this movie." All in a voice that said "F U! I'll strangle you with you're own intestines." Of course she was sputtering pissed, and turned to her date to back her up.

He just shrank in his seat and tried to look invisible.

Some times it's a good thing to look like and have roughly the equivalent body mass as an Orc.

Little lighted screens winked out across the theater.

What is the Naturalizer?

[Shannon]

The "Naturalizer" is a relatively recent invention of mine that allows changes to come into being in such a smooth and natural way that instead of the flipping on like a light switch, they shift into being as if they have always been there. It makes it much easier to make changes, because there is much less resistance, and it's much more comfortable to make those changes as well.

[DarthSussudio]

The "Naturalizer" is a relatively recent invention of mine that allows changes to come into being in such a smooth and natural way that instead of the flipping on like a light switch, they shift into being as if they have always been there. It makes it much easier to make changes, because there is much less resistance, and it's much more comfortable to make those changes as well.

Ah, excellent.

Please forgive my ignorance, but is it a stand alone product or is it an integral part of AM now?

[Shannon]

The "Naturalizer" is a relatively recent invention of mine that allows changes to come into being in such a smooth and natural way that instead of the flipping on like a light switch, they shift into being as if they have always been there. It makes it much easier to make changes, because there is much less resistance, and it's much more comfortable to make those changes as well.

Ah, excellent.

Please forgive my ignorance, but is it a stand alone product or is it an integral part of AM now?

It is integrated into everything I have built for a while now, including AM. It has become standard operating procedure.

[Sean]

Please forgive my ignorance, but is it a stand alone product or is it an integral part of AM now?

There are four of them in your room, RIGHT NOW!

The Naturalizer is the subliminal equivalent of disguising a rodeo clown as a ninja-wrapped-in-stealth-bomber-material. The effects of AM5 are so radical, they're like a clown at a funeral. Somehow, the Naturalizer masks all that like the invisible gorilla in the selective attention tests.

These changes are THAT HUGE for me, but it's only by looking back at my posts that I realize all of this happened in the past three weeks. From a logical standpoint, I can see how radical the change is. From an emotional/irrational standpoint, I have zero reaction.

This is superawesome in the respect that in the middle of taking new action, I don't have some kind of startling "this is not who I am" thought interrupt me.