Went out to approach today. After more than 2 hours all I could manage to do was say hi to a milf I saw, and she was alone with no one around. All the other women I saw were surrounded by people. City life is different. There are SO many people here! Makes approaching a million times harder because I don't like having lots of people around when I'm approaching. It's a real crippling sticking point.
Today, aussie seems distant and doesn't want to be around me. DMSI 180 strikes again. It's not just for girls, it can be for the social effects, the celebrity effect, etc.
I'm lost again.
Getting good with women is so f*cking weird. You gotta be a certain way, but you gotta be congruent, but you gotta be congruent in a way the chick likes, not in a way she doesn't like, but you can't be a certain way to get chicks to like you or you're being desperate or try hard, but you can't "be yourself" because that hasn't worked your whole life.
F*CK!
I'm so confused and I can't do anything anymore. I feel like I'm caged.
All I'm looking for is a way to develop into an attractive, successful man that is congruent with who I am. Is that so hard?
Yes, turns out it is, because I've pretty much realized I'm NOT an attractive man unless I'm a mysterious wallflower, then people seem to flock to me like moths to flame but I have no idea why. And if I talk, they scatter. It's the weirdest shit ever.
FML
(12-29-2017, 10:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I'm lost again.
Getting good with women is so f*cking weird. You gotta be a certain way, but you gotta be congruent, but you gotta be congruent in a way the chick likes, not in a way she doesn't like, but you can't be a certain way to get chicks to like you or you're being desperate or try hard, but you can't "be yourself" because that hasn't worked your whole life.
F*CK!
I'm so confused and I can't do anything anymore. I feel like I'm caged.
All I'm looking for is a way to develop into an attractive, successful man that is congruent with who I am. Is that so hard?
Yes, turns out it is, because I've pretty much realized I'm NOT an attractive man unless I'm a mysterious wallflower, then people seem to flock to me like moths to flame but I have no idea why. And if I talk, they scatter. It's the weirdest shit ever.
FML
If they're flocking it's because they find you intriguing. If they leave the second you open your mouth, it's because despite your appearance, you're really not that interesting.
(12-29-2017, 11:25 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ] (12-29-2017, 10:48 AM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]I'm lost again.
Getting good with women is so f*cking weird. You gotta be a certain way, but you gotta be congruent, but you gotta be congruent in a way the chick likes, not in a way she doesn't like, but you can't be a certain way to get chicks to like you or you're being desperate or try hard, but you can't "be yourself" because that hasn't worked your whole life.
F*CK!
I'm so confused and I can't do anything anymore. I feel like I'm caged.
All I'm looking for is a way to develop into an attractive, successful man that is congruent with who I am. Is that so hard?
Yes, turns out it is, because I've pretty much realized I'm NOT an attractive man unless I'm a mysterious wallflower, then people seem to flock to me like moths to flame but I have no idea why. And if I talk, they scatter. It's the weirdest shit ever.
FML
If they're flocking it's because they find you intriguing. If they leave the second you open your mouth, it's because despite your appearance, you're really not that interesting.
Most likely.
EDIT: Lol, I wonder how DMSI can overcome this.
I'm completely at-ease with the way I am. I'm not interesting? *shrugs* Oh well. I don't really care to be interesting and I'm certainly not going to try and be interesting just to get a girl. So if that's gonna be a road block, it'll be "interesting" (heh) to see if DMSI can overcome that.
I don't think that it's because Sarge isn't interesting. I'm sure every single person is interesting in different ways, the problem probably has to do with the way he talks, he portrays himself as someone who isn't interesting or attractive with his language, what he talks about, or how he speaks (I'm not there in the room with Sarge so I can't say in each different scenario what it is that turns people off).
Everyone finds different features in different people "interesting" and the same can definitely be said of women. It's not because Sarge isn't interesting, it's probably because the way he talks portrays him as such.
(12-29-2017, 12:36 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't think that it's because Sarge isn't interesting. I'm sure every single person is interesting in different ways, the problem probably has to do with the way he talks, he portrays himself as someone who isn't interesting or attractive with his language, what he talks about, or how he speaks (I'm not there in the room with Sarge so I can't say in each different scenario what it is that turns people off).
Everyone finds different features in different people "interesting" and the same can definitely be said of women. It's not because Sarge isn't interesting, it's probably because the way he talks portrays him as such.
I agree because it was the same with me in the past (and still is). I remember once on AM6 I was at a party. While just standing there two women came over, took my hand and dragged me to the dancefloor. As far I started talking to them they left me alone. I think we cannot communicate our personality properly or at least we can't do it at a emotional level. At least it seem to be the case for me. Even if I try it looks like I am in objective interview mode and cannot find my way to the subjective emotional/connecting mode.
(12-29-2017, 01:04 PM)Mr. Anderson Wrote: [ -> ] (12-29-2017, 12:36 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: [ -> ]I don't think that it's because Sarge isn't interesting. I'm sure every single person is interesting in different ways, the problem probably has to do with the way he talks, he portrays himself as someone who isn't interesting or attractive with his language, what he talks about, or how he speaks (I'm not there in the room with Sarge so I can't say in each different scenario what it is that turns people off).
Everyone finds different features in different people "interesting" and the same can definitely be said of women. It's not because Sarge isn't interesting, it's probably because the way he talks portrays him as such.
I agree because it was the same with me in the past (and still is). I remember once on AM6 I was at a party. While just standing there two women came over, took my hand and dragged me to the dancefloor. As far I started talking to them they left me alone. I think we cannot communicate our personality properly or at least we can't do it at a emotional level. At least it seem to be the case for me. Even if I try it looks like I am in objective interview mode and cannot find my way to the subjective emotional/connecting mode.
I definitely often feel the same way, which is why I felt compelled to post in Sarge's thread over this issue.
Thanks guys. Interesting perspectives.
Funny thing is, just after posting here I went upstairs and talked with the aussie about this shit and had him absolutely ROARING in laughter. It's like I can emote when I'm talking about some things but not everything.
Who knows what it is.
I just say things and people don't respond, but when I get cynical, people do.
Even on this forum, the only time people talk to me is when I'm being negative/cynical, never when I'm being positive.
Went out and did approaches today with 2 other guys (it's great, having guys who do pick up to hang with).
I approached 2 girls and got "WTF?" reactions on both occasions.
The second girl SMILED at me after I smirked at her. I approached her a few minutes later and got the "WTF?" reaction.
WTF indeed.
Meanwhile, the one guy got a number and is prolly going on a date, the aussie went on an instadate, made out with the girl, and is meeting her for a drink ATM.
Neither of them are on DMSI.
Aussie is taller than me, other guy is shorter than me (but has a sick style).
That is all.
I just hate how, when you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, trying new things, and talking to more people, you realize you're actually MORE limited than you thought you were.
For some f*cked up reason, the more I grow, the more I hit the glass walls of reality.
"If a man wants love, he should correct his flaws and he may deserve it."
Keep pushing, you'll get there.
(12-31-2017, 07:01 AM)Determined Wrote: [ -> ]"If a man wants love, he should correct his flaws and he may deserve it."
Keep pushing, you'll get there.
Lol, so wise.
(12-30-2017, 07:08 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: [ -> ]Went out and did approaches today with 2 other guys (it's great, having guys who do pick up to hang with).
I approached 2 girls and got "WTF?" reactions on both occasions.
The second girl SMILED at me after I smirked at her. I approached her a few minutes later and got the "WTF?" reaction.
WTF indeed.
Meanwhile, the one guy got a number and is prolly going on a date, the aussie went on an instadate, made out with the girl, and is meeting her for a drink ATM.
Neither of them are on DMSI.
Aussie is taller than me, other guy is shorter than me (but has a sick style).
That is all.
What's your approach look like? For me, I go up to them stop them in there tracks even if that means jumping in front of them, then i say something like "Hi I was walking, and I saw you, and I thought you were pretty and wanted to come say hi, hi i'm Raykon" and I put my hand out to shake theres.
Then I try and go into rapport building conversation and if humor is possible thats always good.
The key points is body language, eye contact STRONG and calm and slow speech, don't talk fast.
and the questions you ask will make or break it.
one bad question for me and the girl loses interest almost immediately.
Message me your approach or post it on here. Or let me know how yours is.
I have decent success rate with this approach and it will get better as im practicing now and finally approaching more.