Subliminal Talk

I think the anxiety-relief elements are kicking in also in an indirect way - yesterday (my first free day since I recovered from the flu), I was experiencing moderate to severe anxiety at night, right after trying to go to sleep, due to the project I am working on being a mess from an organizational standpoint, and having to choose between: a) physical rest and catching up on sleep, which I direly needed, b) working on the part I'm about to perform, which I also feel I need to do, but having to face 6+ hours of rehearsal today in a state of physical exhaustion. And, since I'm not going to have an entirely free day until the performance, which I need for proper practice, I suddenly got hit by anxiety after making the choice opting for rest (which is the correct choice, given the circumstances - no amount of additional preparation is going to help if you're too exhausted to perform). This was compounded with the fact that the director is incompetent and is making tons of last minute changes to the darn thing, we're only going to have two rehearsals with the orchestra, one of which is going to be the dress rehearsal (which is pretty much like an actual performance, so :facepalm:, lol), the main rehearsal accompanist got fired for some pretty crazy reasons I shall not divulge in a public forum but perhaps you can guess (:wink:, :wink, lol, etc., etc., yadda yadda, ad nauseam. Of course, I know that I'm going to perform to the best of my ability, and my performance is going to be very good despite all that, but it is kinda nerve-wracking all the same.

Anyhow, I think TID anxiety-relief might have been a bit of help in resolving all that. I noticed that my thoughts were actively trying to resolve it from the get go, and that soon after appearing (within an hour maybe) I was calm enough to try and distract myself by reading and ultimately go to sleep at a halfway decent time. In the morning, it was all gone.

Sorry to deviate but you mentioned turbulence in the initial post. How did turbulence reveal itself to you, what are the signs of it?

Hmm, it was hypothetical mostly, it probably was not that big of a deal this time around. My experience with turbulence comes from earlier versions of DMSI, where I wasn't taking breaks between the versions - usually it'd manifest itself as a pretty severe migraine headache, due to overload.

Hahahaha, the production is SO hilariously fucked up it's not even funny.

And it's me who's going to be making an ass out of himself in public, not the incompetent director/manager. At least the conductor is pretty great and extremely competent - if only the darn thing was not such a mess... Lol.

Anyroad, here's to DMSI 3.2 and a new journal. I'll be starting it soon, but probably won't be able to report anything until Sunday, maybe? Once I'm done with the crap I'm doing.

They're literally not paying me enough for this shit.

Yep seems to be a thing around DMSI launches. I'm gonna look at finding a way that in the future if the same problem happens that I can do them in bulk instead of 1 by 1.