(06-18-2016, 12:31 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]As long as you're honest with yourself about your intentions and your actions, the rest was/is on her no matter how much she might want to or eventually choose to blame you in the future (because chances are better than 50% that she might do just that).
Regardless of blame, or feeling guilt, the act alone becoming known to his friend could be enough to destroy their friendship. If the two involved parties can keep secrets to the grave and properly manage guilt and/or shame, they might be okay. But oh so many variables in play now.
A good result for AOSI seeing she was standoffish before. But not something a good or trustworthy friend would do.
It seems the whole 'I need to support my friend' was bs and it is more "I need to go fuck his girlfriend". Usually there should be the unwritten rule of don't fuck your friends gfs cos that's basically a friendship destroyed.
Nice! You AOSI'd her. And as an added bonus if the friend finds out he doesn't have to waste more time with a shifty girlfriend anymore unless he's a share-the-love kind of guy.
There's definitely growth to be had here. I'm not judging. Seriously. I know what temptation is, but I've never been faced with it like that (read:tested). I'd like to think that I'd take the moral high ground.
I'm using AOSI for many reasons, not all of them "good." 1.) I like new tech. I want to be the guinea pig. 2.) I want to add a new dimension of attraction to a 4-year-old marriage, one that I've put major stress on resulting from being unhappy with myself. 3.) My ego. I'm still trying to make up for being the nerd in middle school who didn't get the girl and wants the attention the popular kids always got. 4.) To test myself. I want to be the guy who says "You're beautiful, thanks for the attention, but 'NO - I love my wife.'" 5.) Personal growth. Kinda coincides with a few of the previous reasons.
(06-18-2016, 05:41 PM)stratos Wrote: [ -> ]Nice! You AOSI'd her. And as an added bonus if the friend finds out he doesn't have to waste more time with a shifty girlfriend anymore unless he's a share-the-love kind of guy.
That's a narcissistic point-of-view. "Hey, I did you a favor! She sucked my d*ck, but I saved YOU, man!"
If you're the beta male, does that make her shifty for going after someone more alpha?
What if you're the alpha and you go for a higher-value woman? Does that make you...shifty? (No, brah, because I'm a man! I can do that, women can't!)
Life just isn't that black-and-white. So many shades of gray, here. It's my opinion that a true alpha respects his friends, or they weren't a friend to him in the first place. The selfish choice isn't always the "alpha" choice.
It's about respect for your friend, but also appreciation. I mean, true decades-long friends i have 3 in my life. Bitches on the other hand are fcking everywhere. In no way or form i would put a bitch before my friends
When you think how hard is to have trust in another person like you have with these lifelong friends, there is no fcking comparison
I find it very strange that chaos who alledgedly has a tinder full of girls, goes after his friend's girl to *experiment*, if that is not desperation i don't know what is.
On the other hand i really want to believe that he just fcked up and got weak
Yeah but it sounded like a super hot experience. he was there in the next room, she comes over all squirming, shaven and smelling nice. it's the stuff of fantasies.
I just wanted to add, welcome the comments and the feelings that accompany them. Learn and grow is the goal. I'm grateful for your honesty. You didn't have to tell the story. We need people to tell it how it happened, and put it all out there. This community is full of progressive people, and we'll all grow/benefit from sharing honest experiences and opinions.
Wow. I know who my friends won't be. >>
Just gotta say I support chaos 100% and that I'd do the same thing. If that makes people want to lock their girlfriends/wives up around me great, all the better, free advertising. You can't be secure by being insecure.
Share the love all the way.
No, I wasn't saying that. Just playing Devil's Advocate.
For the record, anyone with Sarge's attitude ("I'd do it, too!"), honest with his intentions on an internet forum - but not with his "friends," wouldn't be in my life. Then again, he wouldn't have a chance with my wife. She'd see right through him, including that V-card pasted on his forehead.
No offense, Sarge.
(06-18-2016, 08:09 PM)Coma_Black Wrote: [ -> ]There's one thing having sex with someone's girlfriend or wife and another thing to betray a decade old friend.
And if you would do the same thing why bother calling that person a friend?
I would never have someone as a friend who didn't know I would screw their other if the chance arose. So it would be impossible for me to betray anyone.
99.9% of people can't handle that, thus I doubt I'll ever have any true friends.
(06-18-2016, 08:40 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]No, I wasn't saying that. Just playing Devil's Advocate.
For the record, anyone with Sarge's attitude ("I'd do it, too!"), honest with his intentions on an internet forum - but not with his "friends," wouldn't be in my life. Then again, he wouldn't have a chance with my wife. She'd see right through him, including that V-card pasted on his forehead.
No offense, Sarge.
Lol, I'm always honest with people. Probably why I don't have many "friends". I've come to realize most people can't handle the truth.
Since everyone is chipping in and I'm not sure if chaos even wants it (but he doesn't seem to put an end to it too), I'll just do the same and say what's the growth opportunity I see.
The moral of the story for me is that friendship is a very abstract thing. Therefore it cannot really serve as an argument to be loyal to someone if you've f****d other girls who had boyfriends before. There's a saying - how you do one thing is how you do everything.
In other words, I think that in a way, it's the same thing to get a girl to cheat on her boyfriend whether one knows the guy or not. In this case, the momentum in chaos' behavior was already built long before this situation arose, long before even DAOSI. Of course, the responsibility for this momentum and all its consequences, which might have been unconscious to this point, still goes to chaos, which I think is where growth lies.
Just got back from a night out with the bros (and no, not that bro) and looking over the responses to my post.
I appreciate everyone who shared their thoughts. Real talk -- that's what we're here for. That being said, it's a bit disturbing how everyone's approaching the situation with such black and white, diametrically opposing viewpoints. RTBoss is the only person that even mentioned "shades of grey," casting aside his own relative morality for a moment to explore the situation a bit deeper. (EDIT: Just noticed Ivaylo's post, which kinda hit at the same thing.)
Is the "betrayal of a friend" (and no one bothered to ask how close we actually are) as immoral as you're all making it out to be, or are you passing judgment out of a sense of fear that this could happen to you? In other words -- are you being sincere in your outrage, or solipsistic?
Many of you want to run SM3 and/or AOSI (or you've already done so) for the purpose of having lots of sex with lots of different women. Tell me: Do you plan on informing these women of your intentions to use them solely as a human sex toy and/or source of validation? If not, when their feelings are inevitably hurt, are you going to ditch your plans of f*cking lots of hotties, or will you somehow cast aside their emotional pain as a "natural" part of life, or something?
At the end of the day, emotional impact is emotional impact, right? So what's the difference between the emotional turmoil my friend would experience if he finds out and the emotional pain you'll consciously, intentionally inflict on the women you will inevitably leave in your wake once you pump and dump 'em?
Why is one okay, but not the other? A few posts ago, my man flat out said "Bitches on the other hand are fcking everywhere. In no way or form i would put a bitch before my friends[.]"
Damn. NEVER? For ANY REASON? Why's that? Do you consider women a lesser form of a life? You believe their emotions don't matter because they process reality differently than we do? Isn't that thought process as equally "immoral" as what you're accusing me of?
Ask yourself this: What I did, did that serve as a window or a mirror to your own innermost fears and desires? You're mad because I broke your personal sense of morality, but your morality exists only to benefit yourself. It's not for the betterment of humanity. It's to protect your own interests. I broke free of that nonsensical frame of thought a long time ago, allowing others to dictate my will, control my desires -- and for what?
So, be pious if you want. Cast judgment if you want. But, if you're running any sexual related sub because you want to get an edge over women, make sure you tell every woman you f*ck that you've reprogrammed your subconscious for the sole purpose of sleeping with her, and that you have no intentions of moving beyond physical intimacy. OR -- you could just stop whining and enjoy the ride.
I'm not making excuses for what I did. Never will. I indulged. Now, I will deal with the consequences (or lack thereof) like a man -- head on.
Hey Chaos, you're the man! Great stuff. If your friend was right for her she wouldn't have tried seducing you.
How do you think your friend would react if he knew what you two did or keep doing behind his back? In addition how do you think she would react if she knew you only wanted her for sex? You may have to face some s**t in the future for this but at the end of the day it takes two to tango. You have nothing to be ashamed or feel guilty about my friend.