Can chat up random strangers and rejection doesnt phase me, IDGAF about that, yet I still have some issues with hotter women, its as my mind shut down or something. Its starting to really piss me off tbh. have an lake of negativity and depression surfacing with slight self destructive tendencies. An to hell attitude. having anger surfacing now aswell. Go with the flow and let attraction happen instead of getting into my head. Getting aware of my behaviours and some are starting to annoy me, like when I greet people its just to uncalibrated and undirected. To happy or some shit.
Feel not like writing about my experiences with women currently, feels needy and validation seeking as fuck.
Something is lifted aswell after feeling all needy when came to the realisation my subconscious still hold an belief of being liked. WTF, thought that shit was out of my system already. Regained and confidence after that and now its gone. Did test it but its gone now.
When Im in conversation its easy, I make eye contacxt and just click and nothing else phases me. It slike okay in the moment and then seperating afterwards. The initial shit is what stiffles me, hate to say it but am thinking about openers now.
Weird day. Nothing feels even enough.
(04-08-2016, 04:32 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Feel not like writing about my experiences with women currently, feels needy and validation seeking as ****.
I feel like as long as you aren't posting up photos of the girls in the forums to show off to other guys, then you aren't validation-seeking at all.
So it boils down to acceptance as it turns out. Accepting and reframing the thrill and feelings that come up with these matters. before I was like "i have to have some thoughts running, otherwise ( x-y-z/blank ) Now im not so sure about that, rather, its coming from an place of confidence and inner place. It simply doesnt matter. AM seems to enhance this. I am the prize. Had some fear coming up this morning and some breakthrough yesterday evening. Currently day 13 on stage 2. Im also starting to let go over intelectuializing stuff, and puts me into the now. Awesome. When my mind shuts down I seem to fight it by having an sense of that it should be effportless and without tension. Why? I dont know.
Currently in an flow state kind of, in which all that comes up i directly face.
Also, Im aware as to why i smoke, which is fear. When stuff comes up and stress rises, my urge to smoke aswell increases. AM is working on this aswell. Instead of running away and wantring to attain an certain state ( the whole relaxing kind of shit without facing it ) Im now digging deeper through it. Its also more detached and observant.
Lowered the ultrasonic volume and it works wonders.
Some massive shift has taken place. I claimed reality as my own and not as something superior to me, which is in line with AM6. This dissolved an massive shame and fear around eye contact. I still had some beliefs of how my eye contact was, being selfconscious instead of resting it. i can now free approach anyone I want, pick something that stands out and chat up just casually. This is an huge breakthrough. I realize more and mpore how former patterns are just ridiculous and not making sense at all. Every building, place, tree whatever is my reality and mine. its fucking beautiful.
Im ways its similar to when I ran ASC.
Also, the free approach has an massive boost now, almost like TylerRSD like in terms of abundance and approach.
Chatted up someone I know, I just walked up without second thought, he seemed startled, and was not familiar with how I am now. Went fluid and solid, no anxiety and what arose was released. No urgence to get out of the situation or anything, strong eye contact we shook hands and separated.
have lost my 11 days treak tho, i dont regret it and dont care.
Currently re-reading sigma shock and am willing to change my lifestyle in harmony with getting financial cfree and self-sufficient. Its dawning on me that the ratrace is an depedence game in that sense, if an "boss" fires you, then what? Again applying without mission, goals to end up back? hell no. Thats my current mindset. I might apply for an job but will have some side stuff going on, aware how I can be sucked into it. Learning field. presenting myself in confidence.
Serious with my mission now. Will set this all out and get an clarity. No time to waste. I see it as an job, an willing one now. Time is now and I have to make the best use of it. One is that of becoming free, independent, and working this currently out now. I have glimpses already, an deep resonation that goes beyond everything and hits me right in my core. Stabalizing myself even. Undeniable clear. I dawning on me aswell that no matter where I am, life is change, and this skill will be place-independent. As BD wrote in his book about leaving fruitless environment/area is something that speaks to me.
One of my visions/dreams is to be able to deal on an equal level, add my value to others yet being indepedent to choose. traveling will fall in this place, but its still my choice to add. No reason why it wouldnt be possible.
Another shift in terms of not needing women, feels liberating, freeing and rise in value.
On another note, I spend way to much, have to keep an eye on that. Last couple of days made me feel out of control. I feel different but can't pinpoint what exactly. More mature, composed, better selfimage? It huge but still can't lay my finger on it. haha
Since yesterxday i experience tiredness, anxiety and depression. My eye contact is not consistent, I'm aware of the "creepiness|"petterns and beliefs but its causing me to feel worn out drastically. More then once felt like almost hitting some breaking point. there are positive momnents aswell but shit hits the fan currently.
Did hit the gym to and felt something slowly being lifted up in terms of that, right in the moment, like my eyes did wander to find someone to lock with more then once. gstting glances from women aswell, older ones, its not making sense to me as to why im so anxious about this all. I dont get the issue with this all, in fact, I feel somewhat closer in making sense as in "women are just women and girls are not outside my reality"kind of stuff. Socially im feeling lesser connecting. I want to but feel limiting.
Its just an trigger impulse that happens, like an "busted"klind of reaction causing some slight crumbling.
Just want to cry , lol.
Edit: not taking stuff to serious in all of it, dont give a fuck, do the fuck you wanna do.
Social way more flowing, less inhibited and speaking my mind way more easy. Cut off bs directly and am flowing in it all. had some nice interactions going on today. Did speak my teen crush back then but realize all the interactions are that, interactions. It doesnt stick in my mind at all. Im awesome anyway. Its this unstoppable confidence thats very profound now, some stuff in terms of needyness and non needyness make absolute sense now, its being self validating.
Shame and fear is reduced way more, am more joking around it, at times a bit harsh when i speak my mind. An claiming of my reality. Did shake and became self aware when speaking to this teenage crush of mine and it was a bit awkward in that. Nothing lost.
Eye contact is again back as it was without second thoughts, its just lock, prolongue and thats about it. made some eye contact with an new women at work without saying an thing, and it lit her up a bit. Did introduce directly aswell as bond directly. The vibe was absolutely there. Seeking the challenge more, more assertive and disagreeing, making fun of people aswell. In the moment what comes up I can easily push through with now. the fear is just gone for the most.
Am also less impressed by guys which was something that did happen before coming in contact with subs and what not. Its like my mind naturally place them as an blank slate without ay connection and am not impressed, just noticing and whatever. Girls become more normal aswell, its not really bothering me. Lots is no longer bothering me. Also feel not traveling back and seeking for results in that manner. Its gone and thats fine.
having tons of dreams aswell.
Had some nice moment with an 7/10. Opened her pretty easy. She was very receptive and talked lots. felt an great Chemistry and getting seductive moment by moment. Nice eyes aswell. It was like we created this moment while there was an row at the checkout. Some other women butt-displayed. Did not look away or anything, did watch carefully even like "okay, yeah its in my field" Did somewhat calm down aswell when waiting in an conscious manner.
At work made some eye contact with an girl. green eyes, kinda resting like expression, almost like an bitch face at times. She seemed distant but opened more afterwards, like made multiple eye contact moments when coming close. its not all about eye contact tho. Some fear is released, at work I went stress through the roof. Like, something big came up and made me conflicting. Said that she came fairly close eventually and this caused an big defense reaction from her side while being playfull from my side.
Another female at work went all angry about an situation but normally I would be affected by it. now i could hold easily eye contact while she raged on.
This sub stage makes me very off balance I think. One side I am confident but its covered or something. One side I am aware, but the other side is just crap feeling and massive messed upness.
I speak automatically. Its like I lost control over my voice and speak up directly as if the sub takes over my speech. Was an bit suprised when this happened, can only imagine this might increase. my voice seems different aswell and changing. Also see girls more as an event now instead of being something out of my reality if its that? I also socialize far more easy. found myself chatting with some people and thinking "who are those people?" haha. Disagreeing and just chatting up and sticking to my points feels also more socially healthy.
My taste in women also changes and my ratings aswell. there wasnother more dark haired girl, curly hair who stood out for some reason. Like its rather the vibe she pulled off. Had another thought today about only approaching hot women.
Im right now in an social high. Pick up easily parts instead of being vaguely complimenting but hooking in what stands out or something.
The sub works on some deep core issues and I'm getting aware about some limited beliefs. I think my aura is projecting more as people seem to generally be more at ease around me, and thus open up more easy and are more chatty in general.
Starting the day productive seeps through the rest of the day and how it develops. When I'm working on setting up business, income, read, and am general more alive and active, instead of wasting the morning, it seeps over.
Core issues involve women aswell, and it sheds some light as to how subconsciously there was some gap between, which hinders bonding to happen at times.
Im also less in the mood to write on the forums. Im seeing people differently and how Im not like them, how I dont want to end up, its an pretty big contrast, reading people more, how they dress, how they carry themselves. Its just so fake. Some are closed off, others are clearly carrying some heavy burden and litterally have an slave posture to name some. Its as if I can look right through it. Also my own ways of interacting on an more subtle way get more clear to myself, how I greet, talk, calibration and other unname-able manners.
Currentl;y having more shit coming up making me somewhat stuck but this also will pass. Im entering flow states more and more, aswell as being fully boundless and present. Its like being sleazy and painting some state is noticed, while being authentic is limitless. yet, taking on an sort of persona like an market model ( like the whole zyzz thing, which that guy also explained ) gives some huge space to do so. Might be the subs breakthrough or an crossing over of some sort, but it makes sense.
I enjoy music aswell more, aswell as life in general. Just now my mind and body is tense and cloudy, anxious, which is a bit funny actually. Just an matter of time before I see how to flip this, as this stuff is mostly right in front of me. Also I experience re-occuring patterns only to realize I'm already over it, the final let go of it all. Its an attack from all angles.
Work has an stronger priority. Clicked when I was talking with an girl when she told she worked from age 13. Somehow this gives some value in my eyes. I love it.
I can only imagine how strong SM will work for me. yet, AM is now as it should be. No excuses, the time is NOW. All is NOW. Approach, chatting, talking, doing and working. Im growing more and more an dislike of being on the computer and internet aswell as wasting time on social media and realize most people are actually trapped in some sort of prison instead of working with it, social media works them and controls them. Im way more sure in my abilities and capabilities aswell.
Currently on day5 of my streak and interacting with people puts me back on track. I realize that interaction is vital for me. Im expanding my horizon instead of being focussed on an idea, Im rather exploring the whole spectrum now, almost indiscriminating and just flow. Porn is an isolating self fulfilling prophecy for me, and by being sexual I can bring this out. Instead I talk to and with people, it has only benefits although the urges can be very strong at times like this morning.
the "i know" communication through eye contact is incredibly powerfull. have tested it in the mirror and my whole presence changes to seduction that way.
When Im working with dogs Im taking the role naturally of being an pack leader, like I know what I need to do, and dominate and command through state and am an bit cold like. Wondered more then once whats happening then.
Also dropping all addictions instantly gives an huge sense of freedom and not giving an fuck. Like its similar to the outciome independence which im experiencing way more. Like when going to the store and forgetting something its cool. Interact do what ever teh fuck you want to do, it doesnt matter. rejection doesnt exist.
Currently reading John alaxanders alpha male book and the part of "what do women want"makes massive sense. Its mindblowing yet IDGAF. Its as if something is clicking right now, im totally buzzing right now. Breakthrough and even going upwards more now. Like being real and shit. Doing your own thing, being sexual in presence, not words or whatever. Just playfully around. I dont care. Im on an high now, yet dont get addicted to only good feelings as the other side of the coin will catch up aswell.Getting aware of the patterns of my subconscious, the repeating stuff, the small limiting things. This is boundless and limitless. Outcome independence. Not caring what happens. Euphoric. I dont need approval or validation. I validate myself.
Still writing this for myself, an tracking journal in an way only when I feel like writing.
Shifting between anxiety and being emotional bit worn out, and being outcome independent where everything is let go. Beyond dominance and not holding onto an mindset. Its like being in harmony with the universe in an way, flow state. Also on this day ( day 20 ) im starting to master my emotions which is big.
Chatted with some girl yesterday online, involving sexual hints and sometimes just plainly stating my intent in an playfull manner. Afterwards realized I became somewhat needy at times but then didnt give a fuck shortly after. Some parts did reduce attraction from my side, and just instantly went all cold and disinterested. Like some disengage in it, attention bit lost.
had some jelousy coming up and I know exactly what the reason is for this. By seeing myself high value I expect and become outcome dependent, like some external validation kind of thing. Not as much as before where I would go all worrying, I could easily realize it. Scarcity mentality. Adopting the abundance mentality again. It doesnt matter which gives an huge sense of freedom. Im really beginning to master my feelings now, choosing is pretty much focussed on, decisive. Im becoming an better man.
Women are women in the end, I keep encountering situations with women. There is no escape, it could be manifestation of some sorts, idk. Its almost like the universe guides me. law of attraction perhaps. Ecstatic.
met with some friends yesterday and i notice how hard I cut them off and they listen imediately. Its not like I scream, but my voice is strong and clear, dominant. Its almost like eye contact didnt matter as that was solid to begin with. Keep realizing I have passed beyond already yet not having realized that when it happened. More like an after-realisation of some sorts. My whole attitude and demeanor changed. People turn heads nowadays, and have more then once moments of eye c ontact while driving which causes an sexual response, like some sort of link for an short moment.
Im feeling great. Just go all out and immerse.
Also increasing my hours by letting the ultrasonic just play.
Manifestation and attraction and situation involving women happen more nowadays, its weird. Like even if I stop caring it will only increase,, like unfolding and putting me in the spotlights or some shit like that. makes me feel magnetic. Not that I would complain. Im more centred now and with myself.
I focus to much on the women bs.
being blown out means nothing. Girls are nothing special like other people. I realize that now and puts me back on my throne of being king. Whatever. She misses out on it, not me. Still it did get to me for some reason and went all beta when walking in some store, apologizing and shit, wtf. IDGAF is my attitude currently and feel new anger coming up. Lost my streak again today, it makes me all weak and lacking confidence. One girl went all panicky when I asked her about something "Its my first day here" yeah, great. Im in an spitefull mood for some reason but am convinced more then ever people pick up vibes. Its freaking weird. I own this. I am spitefull, deal with it, not going to hide that,
feel some slight depression aswel, might be the sub working on some deep stuff. coming out on the other side is noting but glorious. Something beautiful is already seem at the horizon just now and Im experiencing some shift now. Pretty dominant aswell, owning it, claiming my reality. Fuck off.
ION: the approach is nailed right now. she might blew me off but it doesnt get to me really. just another experience. The sub seems to hit on this aswell, more then I was previously aware off. Like breakking through like an raw force.
Feeling really good. Currrent listening to the wave masked subliminal and just watched the sun coming up. Feeling more forcefull aswell. Hitting the gym in about an hour.
If current place is not fruitfull, move places. there are tons of people outside. Its same as with business and your peers, scarce ground will not flourish. The girl at the counter at the gym acted very submissive and it hitted me like an truck. vefry feminine, submissive, smiling, great Chemistry. Im feeling carefree aswell, zen, buzzing and alpha. No chasing but letting people gravitate towards me. I dont need anything, not have to do anything, no wanting anything. Just living life and being the prize, the king and owning my reality.
had another talk with an guy at the gym, opened him pretty easy, but other then that i dont really care about it. people also act different around me and my eye contact is solid.
Have urges to move aswell, to another place and get laid and what not. Just going out again, throwing myself in the crowd. Some neediness and GSF has been destroyed i think. It almost feel the shackles are left behind. Some stuff pops up, some former, but its just left behind.
Its exactly that neediness that caused me to get inconsitent and an wanting in terms of people, women and eye contact. Fine.
The ultrasonic just works fine, writing it down for when some doubts creep up.
Approach is nothing more then an numbers game. It doesnt phase me and is an matter of mindset. have some stuff done today, went to some garages for my car and chatted people easily up. I still notice some slight inhibitations but its no issue. Some woman gave me the biggest smile and eye fucked me pretty much. I didnt really care about it, and by being picky my attraction seems to even more increase, like, not everyone is worth my time or hooked up. people want what they cant get basically. other people get all touchy. One guy tried to intimidate me but I didnt feel a thing about it, he became physical and touchy in it, body pushy, but due my presence he didnt dare to do a thing probably. strong eye ciontact and ignored him multiple times, just flowing. Adrenaline did flow which putted me back into reality, yet my speaking and composture didn't waver one bit. if girls have their earphones in its not an limitation, that only exist in my mind. be creative an playfull about it. Even if im staying calm and non caring it seems to unfold further in attraction, probably my aura or something.
mass approach is fun, which clicked right after the gym. Im more and more unphased day by day.
The whole mindset of not approaching is pretty beta and this is my reality, my world and all people in it are an hook up and approach point. Its like my own Paradise.
My whole social world has turned 180 degrees. i cant even understand what it was before that i was afraid, im euphoric and enjoying this pretty much. Shannon, your sub is nothing but amazing.
Keep up with the amazing work, man.
I'd say approaching is both a skills and numbers game though. The longer you do it, you'll see that you can approach a lower volume, while getting higher return.
Thanks, sitting at home isnt for me anymore. I rather am outside and play around, approach.
Its not really an mindset even, no scenario, but more walking aorund, something comes up and act on it and choose, rather then an "have to approach"
yeah, I have thought about that aswell. Sometimes im thinking i should just approach hot girls just to pull it in my reality
The girl im chatting with online yesterday also qualifies herself, asks what I'm going to, giving kisses back in the form of smileys, hearts and what not, and doesnt do that with other guys. In an way I feel i pretty much triggers some sexuality in her, like its linked to me or something, like she responds back and what not, wanting me to look at her new tattoo and stuff.
pretty crazy, how it all seems to fall into attraction with multiple girls aswell, as some sort of "own reality"or what not. Its all linked to attraction and limitlessness.
What I learn from online chatting and chatting is it gives me insight in textgame, which is still an lacking point.
Looking back at my posts my vibe is whiolly different, like wtf
Im also euphoric as shit now lol
letting fear influence is bs.
Sticking to one social circle is also crap. Its so limiting to do so, through others in an social circle.
I aswell get aware more deeply of peoples bodylanguage, just observant of it.
prioties: only reward myself, probably seting up some system to straighten my priorities out. reading feels more productively now and purposefull. Watching movies and the such only makes me depressed. Have read John Alexander's book just now and finished it. Now I'm reading "felix dennis - how to get rich". Still struggling with the idea for an business, and have expand my vision over the market. Its like there is some hindrance in flow. Jobs and work is empathized tho.