Woman cannot reduce your alphaness at all. rejection means jackshit. It doesnt phase me.Her hotness doesnt either, I rather select on traits and character through screening which makes it all super easy. When out in public people gives tons of eye contact, one women positioned herself close while the building was empty.
No wanting, no needing, pure fun and self amusement. i found myself getting self conscious, something in my vision felt off/was put under an microscope, causing it to tense up more and awkward. One thought popped up "yeah, I know you glare at me"and I just relaxed. Perhaps reconnecting with my environment and social field overal.
Socializing is fun aswell. It all is. greeting people on the street, without agenda. When bèta's try to test me, I reframe and remove them from my attention at all. No guilt shame and fear aswell. Its almost pick up with my eyes. had some other women make multiple glares, and then looked downwards with an smile. haha.
I also am getting aware as to how closed off some people are in their body language. My mind went to pure sex more then once aswell, just the primal kind without attachments to it. Made me think about SexMagnet. Im starting to observe people just out of curiosity, thats new. open observing.
Also feel an strong pull towards learning different languages aswell as coaching. Might give an massive confidence boost and new ways to work in the social field.
I dont give an shit right now. Its all good. Im free.
stage 1 day 18
Hopelessness, anger and depression running rampant today, Almost feeling defeated and becoming aware of fears, such as the fear of obsession and being sucked in fully in activities and what not. Guess its fear of change or some sort. Its up to me to take my life in my hands. Anger might be maturity developing further. Thinking about money, jobs, dressing better and sharper, looking ito watches, and my current situation triggers lots of defeatist feelings, about some social programming coming up and some past programing and issues popping around of being judged and what not. I can already shed it more easily and am learning to shed it and the sub also aids in this.
On some other news; Suddenly there are way more women noticed when Im out and in my vision. Last time I also thought as to how there seem to be an common trait of attraction in them, similar types of women, and it feels very normal and natural, like breathing.
day 19 stage 1
The manifestation seems to kick in. had an encounter with an girl at the store who said in an very submissive way hi to me, smiling. She was pretty cute. She stood out in some way which could be the next step basically. Stuck around for a while in my head but I can easily move on. had some thought afterwards about how I wouldnt normally do with the approach thing, compimenting and all that stuff, number closing, yet this didnt occur in the moment.
2 other girls at work showed interest. One walked up to me to introduce herself and stood next to me, giving multiple glances, smiles and what not. It started when I walked in, she directly turned her head and noticed. had some chat with the other girl who did smile aswell. The first girl asked several questions, and then old beliefs surfaced and other question thoughts popped up in terms of showing to much interest and what not. The moment of escalation only goes as far until sexual tension dissolves. the window kind of thing.
Some people seem to test me. or rather, show an mismatch through bodylanguage and talking. something feels off which sets me off aswell to an slight extent. People turn heads or Obvious look away. I hold eye contact with people, including the girl when we did talk, which made her light up. It feels rather natural and to be expected, Like an self/fulfilling prophecy.
Women become more and more an normal event in my life. Lots of them today. makes me wonder if AM causes this as an conscious proof over and over again to desensitize or kill the beta inside. I dont care, just riding the sub. Seeing the same kind of blondes around with glasses and the such, yeah i dig that.
I love these make out dreams
day 20 stage 1
Lots of limited and false beliefs surfacing yet releasing them imediately. By releasing those beliefs and having the sub I'm basically unstoppable. Also, being confident and non needy with women. I noticed an sort of stuck in my head with the girls at work today and let it go. Many obvious fears coming up and I dont feel even like stopping by. Itsd being dealt with. Just moving on from the them, back into zen., I just dont feel like entertaining them at all and for once it pushes through. by accepting one breakthrough after another its like an stormram.
Play with women and tease them. Theyre more receptive then what is programmed as an limited belief. Its an false one yet tease. You never know without doing so, no matter what the reaction is,.
being playfully confident and just testing and experimenting. Nothing can go wrong. Its an false belief. Reframe. More forcefull and dominant yet feeling light. An sort of momentum.
Had some thoughts about looking to much which did my head in, only to get caught up in it. Realized that and released it.
I also see high value cars in my environment. Could be an manifestation in terms of higher value but I dont care.
My body and mind scream IDGAF.
Goals are important. For example; having an business running in 6 months. I need goals.
- Looking back in the carb, fats and protein and will adjust this in my diet. no more playing around with it. Doing it.
- Working out mission.
- setting up goals daily.
- Increase in hunger to learn and adjust.
- feeling more masculine
- RSD popped up in my mind. Like/dislike with it and the overanalyzing in terms of "steps to take" is skipped.
being raised with an scarcity mentality in terms of money and later on crashing due this toxic mindset, its now turning around. Im opposing those who equal money with evil. Its so small minded. It has opened an whole new world to me.
The thought about escalating, just going into social stuff, flirting and what not with an idgaf attitude flourishes. In ways Im thinking back at my teens but whatever.
day 23 stage 1
I experience more and more bliss moments and disconnect from negativity. More and more being in an indifference/doesnt matter state. Stripping off layers and passing beyond them, something I struggled lots with and having an "aha" moment. Confidence plays an big role and being confident with girls is something great. Being all teasy and stuff.
Having visions pop up ( manifestation? ) of 19 y/o girls and its making me horny. Im more harsh in my attitude and thoughts, almost rambo/jungle like.
Im feeling pretty awesome but the last couple of days were many ups and downs. Im incorporating low carb, high fat/proteins in my nutrition and it makes an big difference in my overal state and how I feel. Chatted up with some people yesterday and was fully calm in the moment. No thinking, just flowing and realizing how it is inner state that makes lots of differences. Unstoppable and abundant.
Im all for self development. To be out of my head and developing skills. Money and business is cut out for me, I resonate very strong with it. Im feeling very helpfull right now aswell but feel calm aswell. Its amazing.
I am developing insight in the alpha stuff. How people speak, their body language and what not. people can do stuff and reduce their value in my eyes. Im developing an sort of disinterest in women, more like being balanced instead of needy and putting them on an pedestal, with me as the prize and slightly higher.
I also embraced "love". I realised that by owning it up and being honest is way more alpha then just being "though guy" and pushing it away. Taking responsibility.
I have lots of dreams but cant remember them.
Start and setting the vibe of the day differs worlds. By having priorities straight and being productive in the morning shapes my day basically. Having all what needs to be done, done, otherwise, the day turns to dust. Sticking to it, instead letting the day go to waste. nurtition plays an role in this aswell.
I keep out and cut out what i dont see fit. This is my attitude right now. Step up the damn plate. Im selective. To not being stuck but to move the fuck on.
Feel an shift going on. AM breakingthrough ruthlessly.
Looking back at my journal, and holy sh!t. yeah, move on is definitely the tone set for today. IDC.
The desire for children reduces. Going out alone is awesome and did it before. Just for the record. Immerse until you are used to it. No excuses.
(03-18-2016, 12:14 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]The desire for children reduces.
+1
You guys both don't want children, or are tired of dealing with "children"? Either way I'm right there with u
Just no desire for children.
(03-18-2016, 12:51 AM)Ultralight Beam Wrote: [ -> ]You guys both don't want children, or are tired of dealing with "children"? Either way I'm right there with u
No desire for offspring.
At this point i want to run SM after I'm done with AM. Could be because my IDGAF attitude is pretty present currently but its more for the heck off it. The other one is BASE but SM has its priority now as the next sub. It reflects my current state aswell, this cold, non caring, IDGAF attitude and just rawness.
The world is already over populated. What other reason do you have? SM is a good choice
(03-18-2016, 10:15 AM)Ultralight Beam Wrote: [ -> ]The world is already over populated. What other reason do you have? SM is a good choice
AM makes me more self centered and focussed on self improvement Its an lack of desire. Atleast, that seems to be why.