stage 1 day 24
Anger and annoyance are pretty much here lately. Is it because bèta's whine over that their gf treat them like an dog and have no respect or those that drone monogamy social programming bullshit. Im pretty much set in letting women know that I would not subscribe to the notion of monogamy. IDGAS, no need.
Met up with some friends yesterday and some disrespectfull comments coming from one of them rubbed me the wrong way and caused anger in me. I seem to care to much at times still resulting in some blocks and hope this will dissolve in the upcomong stages/stage 2. Im more disinhibited, my bodylanguage is open and light even. AM overrides it tho and still 8 days to go until stage 2.
Found another source of anxiety which is that both feeling to much in control over thoughts and losing control over thoughts is anxiety. Resulting in an sense of peace.
Some guy yesterday locked eyes with me for an longer period of time, almost mesmerized. When I greeted him, he didnt say a thing and downright ignored me.
Attitude towards urges to blatantly accept them directly. Makes me feel like im in my teens again, Rather curiosity and interest. Almost childlike. Feels the right thing to do.
Had some nice chemestry with an 8,5/10 hb, my vison is expanding. she was very feminine and talked lots, girls just seem to smile when you lock eyes, its common now. She made lots of effort and went as far as saying bye when walking away, afraid to miss me according to her whole vibe.
Bodylanguage in people seems to not match words. Blame it on social programming, but its telling.
Another girl at the checkout did boobdisplay, like presseiong her boobs forward almost right in my face.
Othe women seem to lock when I not look yet also when i do look. There are lots of women, tons of them, neediness doesnt mean shit. To look around and all shows scarcity, insecurity. Even when im anxious and shaky, some girls just lock, It seems to not show externally while my head is all tired and what not.
Guys wave, others ignore me totally.
My mind is still not fully convinced in this all happening, like it has still this special layer to it, like its rare or something. Its an struggle currently.
Layers are being undone, I can only move forward. There is nothing that can stop it. Like an bulletrain as Blackdragon described in the alpha male 2.0 book.
Feel not like writing about things much as that seem to hinder progress. Its accepted. Normal.
Walking up to people when needing something goes effortlessly. No second thoughts. When capturing myself somewhat hesitating im just doing it and pull the switch.
I do have this little voice telling me to run AM till the end of days. no matter what, run AM multiple times, even when feeling total shit.
stage 1 day 25
My writing sklills go more fluid, im sitting more upright and I feel somewhat bigger? Not really able to put into words as it is very natural. Like taking up the writing space and typing with both hands.
I decided to quit porn, as an conscious action. Im almost craving the real deal, being close and what not. My attention is more outward now and I have purpose. feels great. By not indulging into masturbation Im feeling really good and am going to master this. I think boredom caused this to trigger before, or having something to do aswell as an habit. Not doing it makes me feel more alive and confident instead of depressed everytime for some short lived moments.
Feeling socially savage and on top of the world like that same thing ASC had. AM takes full dominance and reign currently. It doesnt matter. Its fuelling. Inspired and supporting feelings going on on this. opening effortlessly, like some tension is lifted up It doesnt fucking matter. Im thrilled. The world is my playground. makes me realize I might have had dreams of approaching last night for some reason but cant remember them, only that some stuff is resonating and feels familiar to it.
Learning new languages. Italian and korean popped up, yet Germany is next door so im not settled yet on it as to which languages. the idea is there and will help me grow business wise, in the social field aswell as with acquintances.
Exploring linkedin. Im feeling more in control then ever, not giving and fuck about other people, just self development. Feels great, centred. Fear has no place, neither has hubris. My business mindset is flowing, my field of vision less isolated and more complete. Bit like described in Unchained Man book, setting apart ones happiness, but this is another model.
Realized shame. Now I can disconnect from it and process it. Couldnt place the feeling before. I'm growing in everything.
Contemplating carreer. Running own business still stands, but field experience would be great aswell. Like coaching and fitness field. Im capable. Feel like hitting some AM points here.
Writing an book. Im thinking in possibilities. Going for the passive income in that as an result.
On an lighter note on some play around goals: getting an BJ at the dancefloor have crossed my mind aswell as an handjob at the dentist would be neat. haha.
Should be enough.
I haven't looked at porn since day 1 of AM6 stage 1. I think there's programming in it to make us feel more self-love.
(03-20-2016, 05:07 AM)wolverine_i_am Wrote: [ -> ]I haven't looked at porn since day 1 of AM6 stage 1. I think there's programming in it to make us feel more self-love.
My libido went numb the first few days. Along the road I slipped up. The thought of the real deal and my experiences of yesterday is enough to stick with it now. Self-love does makes sense as I feel it now, like being an dime and being in the open.
stage 1 day 28
Took some test and ENTJ as an result.
Im getting more obviously assertive and more angry over things and events, till the point of an barrage of swearingwords. yesterday some beta was all snithcing and this unleashed some fury and burn down scenario. I dont give an shit whatsoever and become more of an asshole in that. IDGAF if im right or so, my perception is this, almost militant. Im getting more assertive as in that some girl said "he has me" and I said thats true without second thought or any fucks given. I am more disagreeing overal with people, fearless in speaking up and debating, resulting in being more playfull and toying around. Nailed it. More sexually expressive aswell by teasing, its the initial kind of thing thats popping up, flirting along the road comes natural as it always had. I only seem to revert back to this mindset thats keeping me somewhat in check for the worse. So im going out and experience until this is broken. Might be social programming that has given to much space over the years and triggers depression responses. Its persistent but am not going to feed it my energy. let AM handle this.
I dont feel really writing about the negativity coming up, only that an reoccuring theme is doing my head in. Guess its an breakthrough kind of thing.
Had more memories coming up. For some reason i feel all is going as it should be. No women is special, tone that shit down. Monogamy is killed off, might toy around with tinder. laser focus and purpose is back, and am more sexually savage. I am aware of some blocks in my mind and body, and some memories that surface show it hasnt always be that way. Im getting intolerant over bèta's and how they cry over others that have succes. Sad fuck's, launching their jelousy and social programming bullshit. I downright hate that character trait.
had an realisation that i dont need anything, and this is freeing. My youth and age are also put to my attention. Fuck time wasting.
4 days till stage 2. bring it on.
getting annoyed with people interupting and making assumptions/filling in stuff.
My mind is pushing me to go past barriers and aim for numbers and more chatty. Im very fluid and social as of late. More consistent. feel like I am being to chatty at times on the other hand, fearless in social settings. Not feeling an thing.
Women and girls light up like Christmas trees around me. I know I attract them.
The important thing I got from AM and what I want to share with you is that there is no way to escape the pain. It could manifest as someone talking over you, a health issue, women pissing you off, money woes whatever. The pain, when dealing with it will either be one thing or another. For this, it is a small sign of safety to me. Something good will come from the effort you put in.
stage 1 day 30
My attitude seems to develop even further in calling out crap. Im growing more self-validating, coming from inside, making me feel unstoppable, instead of taking it external. Also, I seem to care to much at times. All is experience basically, women pissing me off, women being attracted to me. Having thoughts and memories of people bullshitting me and grow increasingly intolerant to that.
had some strong anxiety responses and symptoms yesterday. Its like an mindfuck when it happens. basically letting it play out. Had some nice chat with an older women, she was pretty chatty and flirty. Noticed when walking through the store I begun to walk slower and it was all fine. It was great, momentum.
Another girl was short tempered. Could be an bad day or whatever. It didnt really got to me. Dont giving an shit, dont disrespect me.
The content experience seems to become more and more solid, like, my issues being not so present or even present at all. Just being open and present and free, enjoying life.
Somehow when an girl gets all bitchy it turns me on. Something deeper, more real or something.
Socializing goes realy smooth, big reduction in being self conscious and I dont want it any other way. It doesnt matter if you make "mistakes", its an false mindset. and shows an lack of self validation and backing up own words. Not to prove anyone anything, just having fun.
Looking into supplements such as testboosters and fatburning. Reduced carbs pretty much and am reviewing my eating habits. Like, in the morning/breakfast for example. Options and change.
Self development and skills in many fields. Living.
Dont engage in the logical part of women, instaed be playfull and spike. Its just plain awkward when 2 people meet and there is an gap in between. An reviewing current social life and want to move away more, being around more valuable people, lesser GSF and more of an purpose.
People in general dont seem to get the whole passive income streams kind of thing, its not like having this and then everything halts. It gives room for more development. It shows how people are trapped in their programming and operate on societal programming and routines thats driled in them. I Always broke away from this and now im having an bigger sense of purpose, what I want and what not. Still going for field experience and might search for an mentor. Yet on MY terms.
Self-development and skill development as well as interest are still high.
(03-23-2016, 08:27 AM)FrankUnderwood Wrote: [ -> ]The important thing I got from AM and what I want to share with you is that there is no way to escape the pain. It could manifest as someone talking over you, a health issue, women pissing you off, money woes whatever. The pain, when dealing with it will either be one thing or another. For this, it is a small sign of safety to me. Something good will come from the effort you put in.
This resonates on such an deep level.
stage 1 day 32
Did spend the weekend with my parents. Had lots of garbage surface again which made me very confused. IM taking the lead way more and people follow me, stop talking to hear me out. can connecdt with people more easy but my mind seems to resist free approach still at times causing me to revert to old patterns while I am aware about the many experiences I had in warm and cold approach. I just open in that manner. It doesnt matter. Some strong old programming is still taking me somewhat hold.
Im feeling an love for humanity which makes the shells fall of basically and causes me to penetrate beyond what is presented, hotness and what not. I still do flinch but am getting used to how I am more passing beyond that. Im seeing flaws in people more obvious, Im getting even more aware of how fake people are and how their actions are having an sort of stench to it, its all so fake. Physical, people can look whatever they look, they can still be beta as fuck. It shows. Im also getting more in tune with the characters of people and girls. She can be hot but her character can be an turn off instantly.
Had 2 kids that made prolonged eye contact and blatantly kept at it, trying to intimidate me or something. Interesting how some kids can hold it so long, it also happenes with kids coming from an certain kind of people. maybe its how their raised in their culture or something.
Had some polish people when driving which caused me to shift in this love frame and total acceptance. I dont know whats up with that but Ill take it. It clicked as to how it doesnt matter and how their is an billion circle of social proof.
dressing is important, hygiëne is. I see mostly guys around here with blazers who are dressed above avarage with hot girls. One can turn it around as he wants to, dressing is still an point in this and an reality no matter what the ideals and opinions are. Besides that, dressing high value boosts confidence, even if it is external. The environment also draws to my attention, being familiar, social proof, having skills and what not. Some places are just fruitless. Its me and beyond me. Women do have standards aswell, especially with all those orbiters and what not.
Today is last day of stage 1.
stage 2 day 1
- Strong IDGAF.
- feeling empowered, like stage 1 on steroids.
- more dominant, people seem to be more intimidated as if they cant handle my presence.
- strong focus on getting shit done
- Feel like I can approach anyone whenever I like, no excuses
- disinterest in several activities, putting things straight and sorting out
- Go get attitude, less of procrastination, directly doing what has to be done.
- My eye contact feels highly seductive, its like stage 1 was kindergarden compared to stage 2 and with what i struggled in stage 1 doesnt seem to bother me. could be the initial start of this stage, but im feeling overal more calm, chill and relaxed.
- More sexual aswell, when I see someone I like I directly go into this state of full attraction, this mode or something, like it captivates me.
- Bigger contrast in male/female. The whole cuddly, caring and stuff is something unfamiliar now, like its an feminine trait. Worlds apart.
day 3 stage 2
Had lots of dreams and woke up several times last night. Not a clue what I dreamed about but I know it were many.
Im at the brink of an breakthrough, the whole stage 2 has already brought multiple breakthroughs.
Watched some videos of Vince Kelvin and the guy is an machine. He showed how it doesnt mean a thing and displayed high energy, playfull seduction with whoever came in eye sight lol. Bit like Owen but on steroids and highly inspirational.
I can open on an dime, when I walk in an building, I can direct manage and console the environment. I have purpose. I was of the hook yesterday as i walked in, no tension, anxiety or whatnot, straight for the kill. I have no issues with showing disinterest and see people try to qualify that way. IDGAF at all. I have expectations in other people aswell. Like, it annoys me somehow. Totally relaxed aswell but embracing the thrill is another.
Still, im getting self conscious at times, and my mind goes all foggy. The term approach sets some sort of dysfunctional frame and causes an massive mindfuck. Need to ditch that, its way to mechanical or something. IDK. My mind shuts off when it happens, causing all kinds of stuff to surface, something to work on and to burn down.
Strong IDGAF attitude, more aggressive present this stage.
Getting aware of some subconscious shit that I seem to bring out in an way, with eye contact and stuff, to needy and even shoot down desperation when it surfaces or what i perceive as so. My attitude towards girls gets more harsh aswell and theyre nothing special. Some even turn of and arent that hot at all, getting aware of slightests things aswell as an more notice of feminine energy around girls, its worlds apart, like being somewhat tuned in this new reality.
Bitchyness of women when they show some fire actually turns me on. By embracing this it gives new possibilities. I remain unfazed, laugh, and heat up the tension.
My mindset has pretty muhc shifted in "it just doesnt matter" and its great, comiong from an place of fun. I have still tension coming up but notice i supress it somehow, its transformative to embrace it and let it go. It leads to being unstoppable. When hesitating, go even crazier, and beng 26 is basically my prime, lol.
In ways women seem to respond somewhat more intense ( aura ) as this is just attraction, like an challenge, test or what not. My whole mind has shifted and seduction is pretty much occupying my mind, even if she isnt hot, seduce her still. whatever. Gives an open field yet I am the prize.
Sexual tension when women go all weird. The magnets seem to be less interesting now, and AM being solely of interest. I dont care at all at this point, and even if I do, acknowledging is the way to go. Supression ( like guys who hide their sexuality and come across as in congruent ) was my default way of existing before.
My attraction rises, my value goes up aswell. I feel myself growing each day.
Accept the tension, no matter what even if shaking in the presence just go. Its an confidence thing that shimmers beneath, tension is just an layer. get used to it and still go and get it. Expose as much and be as social as you can be while running this sub. Seductive language through being present, playing with ups and down in my voice, hand gestures, suggestive words, wonderfull.. Did that today and my therapist basically hung on my lips, state transferance took place probably. can work with that, enjoyed that. brought up aswell social proof and networking through the global social circle thats all around everyone. had moments of being just present with her, eye contact and all of that, getting more present gradually and other thoughts where just absent with what we were doing. kind of an escalation frame, without being in my head.
I notice this tension comes up when I see an attractive women, i feel beta as i write this, to acknowledge this. My mind is still foggy, but am finally getting through this observing of tension. Accept whatever surfaces and proceeed still. I was shaking in session but somehow managed to just kept going, not suhtting down but to go through with it, like an fire.
Asked some women just out of practice directions, was pretty much calm and held eye contact, she kept talking.
Other people seem to go somewhat timid and uneasy around me tho.
Some women are happy to be opened and spoken to. It all doesnt matter. Be out and about. I seem to rant lots aswell when writing.
The tension thing is an realisation, no need to get rid of it, amplify it. To be present. the IDGAF attitude comes from an playfull place and zen in an way, indifference to it all, instead of being all up in my head. To have no inferior thoughts and no pedestaling. Its just being life itself.
many people arent used to the social abundance. Doesnt matter aswell. Only more fun that way.