(07-18-2016, 09:22 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Interesting. I remember the agression aswell on stage 3 and had it more then once till the point of agitation and feeling it coming to an physical climax.
Stage 3 AM6 is interesting. Given the big guns were introduced in this stage.
However, I experienced the second run times so very different .. Just a little fatigue in the early stages. Furthermore, so smooth, no surge of intense emotions.
day 16
Resistance and rage.
Obsession with money making, financials and covering that area, vision directed to the lacking areas.
(07-18-2016, 02:58 PM)Darmawan Wrote: [ -> ] (07-18-2016, 09:22 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Interesting. I remember the agression aswell on stage 3 and had it more then once till the point of agitation and feeling it coming to an physical climax.
Stage 3 AM6 is interesting. Given the big guns were introduced in this stage.
However, I experienced the second run times so very different .. Just a little fatigue in the early stages. Furthermore, so smooth, no surge of intense emotions.
I´m planning to running AM an second time aswell to get as much out of it as possible. the first 3 stages had an fatigue in it, the fourth was lots of resistance for me. Sound promising, yet I feel I´m merely scratching the surface with my first run. Transformation is where its at.
(07-19-2016, 12:15 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ] (07-18-2016, 02:58 PM)Darmawan Wrote: [ -> ] (07-18-2016, 09:22 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Interesting. I remember the agression aswell on stage 3 and had it more then once till the point of agitation and feeling it coming to an physical climax.
Stage 3 AM6 is interesting. Given the big guns were introduced in this stage.
However, I experienced the second run times so very different .. Just a little fatigue in the early stages. Furthermore, so smooth, no surge of intense emotions.
I´m planning to running AM an second time aswell to get as much out of it as possible. the first 3 stages had an fatigue in it, the fourth was lots of resistance for me. Sound promising, yet I feel I´m merely scratching the surface with my first run. Transformation is where its at.
I agree, women can wait as far as I'm concerned, I'm too busy with more important stuff like transforming myself.
I've never felt so unconcerned about women (a few days into stage 4).
You will like stage 5 then as it kills off neediness even further and makes you total centred.
Im becoming more confrontional and develop an dislike to people all around along the lines of "they're shit, I'm high value" yet simultaneously it doesnt affact my mood or it makes me not caring. Very much becoming aware of myself, my value and how I'm carrying myself. Stood up again against someone and didnt go all AFC/beta but keeping my foot where its at, its still developing but can see how this opens new ways, tension, sexual escalation and how I can cross societal rules and social programming treshold.. Im realizing now and for some reason this becomes stronger.
Bodylanguage is on point. further internal self developments are going on. Also, shedding more and letting go once again, to only open up further. I'm reading lots lately and some side effect I seem to experience with this sub is to want to go out, which would reduce my hours, just being.
Confidence is growing, so is respect.
Edit: my neediness seems to be killed off fully and being repklaced by full circle confidence and masculinity. red pill wise. I am also thinking about DMSI if I find women it to be worth after done with this run. All I'm focussed on is self confidence, self development and bettering myself in an ultimate sense, thus removing myself from the SMV ( or paradoxial putting myself on it, Idc. ) The focues is inwards as of now and DMSI will be the icing if I decide to run it. AM is priority now for a long time after this.
day 19
I notice an pattern in relation to people, an sort of reflection. It lifts something up. One example is seeing people smoke is an turn off which removes the urges completely in the moment.
Women I thought to be hotr before this sub are now somewjhat dull, nothing special and this is empowering. was pretty much centred at the gym, not giving an shit about people and doing my thing, which in turn made me very expressive and caused the ball to be rolling. In my head I reject them pretty much as of late, and yet this elevates me.
Made an appointment for an new haircut and the girl I formerly thought to be hot is now nothing special. yeah, nice blue eyes, blond, pegged down to an 7 at most. I see this possible spread further. Raising standards.
I have thoughts about masculine/male empowerment, becoming more cynical about people, thinking about dominance and submissiveness and its goes pretty far, stripping away many layers and it can get pretty dark at times, such as dark role play, agressiveness, girls getting turned on by gasping for air while kissing, being the boss and being cold. the shift from niceguy to something else has begun.
Its all so self-centred, focussed on myself, inner game, its very strong and its pushing through.
Will definitely do an second run of AM. Also understand the SM lead in and how SM will be an extention of AM. has to be the lead in. Reason for an second run is to deepen the programming in the end and improve masculinity aswell as independence, also I sense that AM pushes me that way, to become this fully rounded independent man. Still not finished my first run but the future visions are nothing but amazing ( aswell as the forcefull masculine fist on the table demanding commanding ) and can sense how it is changing me for the better. Not to mention, I feel pretty much conflicting right now, composure in public was off, thinking in split seconds about some women as "airheads"which is an big improvement, The external results, interests and what not will be an bonus as far as I'm concerned.
day 20
some profound shifts are happening in terms of NGAF, attention and time spending.
Also aware of social programming in terms of sexuality. I know what girls/women want, and what is thought is mostly an lie. Its way more primal. I own it up. Not staying stuck with this. Internalize, get aware, move the fuck on.
I'm starting to correct inside and get on with it. In some ways I revert back towards my younger years.
Growing to new hights an levels, self satisfacion and complete feelings, reviewing my own needs. Attracting clients.
I'm really carefull about limited beliefs as of late. Went out grocery shopping and people seem to be intimidated as fas as I notice, some guys lock eyes with me, other people just look down or don't make eye contact to begin with yet I notice it in the corner of my eyes. more is clicking, like the relationship stuff and how girls cheat on guys to get someone more alpha, its their nature as far as I am concerned. her intention showed when I was at the paycheck, bodylanguage, subconscious resonation, attraction, eye contact. Knowing of recptiveness.
What stands out is that attachments are pretty much more and more released, how I'm more observing and how inner shifts are happening, like being called back at times by my inner programming for the better. Attraction just is. girls hitting on me but not approaching ( yet )
red Pill/MGTOW is pretty strong witgh stage 5 of the sub. Lots have been shifted and is released. an deeper understanding and slight euphoria. Red Pill doesnt cancel out.
Also more and more the urge for a new social circle, its pushing through, realize I can stay alone for a while but socially I am improving, like setting one up myself. Golden times ahead.
Dominance develops further aswell as being self actualizing.If speaking about hot girls, treat them like shit. Be dominant. turning the tables and IDGAF at all. I'm fully focussed on myself, yet want to run SM3. little shifts in handling myself. I speak differently aswell, more monotone and intense, through locking eyes and just being in the moment. ( day 21 )
Lately I am looking straight through all the bullshit and passing beyond all kind of shittests. Shittests turn out to be irrelevant and something external. It makes me slightly agressive. Its like all the layers that somewhat stopped me in my tracks before and made me consider somethings are now irrelevant. May it be carreer, the bf bs and whatever, its non relevant. In the end sexuality in terms of women is an deeper play. Confidence rises as I realize this. Grabbing back my power. "what else do you got", disregarding it all, rather an deep self knowing.
Also, what stay stuck in my mind is job offers I seem to get lately out of nowhere. I had someone trying to set me up for free blogging for their company, but the time = money and time = high value is something overrunning this. It feels pretty much like exploiting. I'm hesitatnt and stoic to it. My entrepreneural spirit is ablaze lately aswell. Its rolling.
(07-24-2016, 04:24 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Dominance develops further aswell as being self actualizing.If speaking about hot girls, treat them like shit. Be dominant. turning the tables and IDGAF at all. I'm fully focussed on myself, yet want to run SM3. little shifts in handling myself. I speak differently aswell, more monotone and intense, through locking eyes and just being in the moment. ( day 21 )
It's funny but I'm on stage 4 and my frame of mind now makes me not treat beautiful women like shit, because they are not important enough to waste that much energy on. I love having that attitude! So much inner peace....
(07-25-2016, 07:35 AM)terry44 Wrote: [ -> ] (07-24-2016, 04:24 AM)Kol Wrote: [ -> ]Dominance develops further aswell as being self actualizing.If speaking about hot girls, treat them like shit. Be dominant. turning the tables and IDGAF at all. I'm fully focussed on myself, yet want to run SM3. little shifts in handling myself. I speak differently aswell, more monotone and intense, through locking eyes and just being in the moment. ( day 21 )
It's funny but I'm on stage 4 and my frame of mind now makes me not treat beautiful women like shit, because they are not important enough to waste that much energy on. I love having that attitude! So much inner peace....
Its an role shift as far as I'm concerned, from nice guy to dominance, destruction of pedestaling and neediness. being indifferent to them and aloof.
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Edit: my thoughts get more rude and disrespectfull and transcend even further in value, almost helicopter view above the masses.
realizing fear and now many things fall in to place.