Subliminal Talk

Nice !

Very sick. Still putting in the hours.

Almost recovered and back in the world again. Also the thing that had me preoccupied has found a conclusion, but my heart will be heavy for a while.

Being sick afforded me the opportunity to face one of my demons. When I got sick as a kid, my mother completely overreacted. She wasn't hysterical, but she was visibly worried and she had this nervous energy, and when you're a kid you pick up on that. To this day I feel a sense of dread when I'm sick but this time around I fought it with sheer mental fortitude. I convinced myself that what I felt was completely unreasonable. I've come a long way in terms of wisdom and maturity. It's so liberating to be able to rely on positive self-talk.

So I got back to work and I was definitely vulnerable being around people again. I felt something I haven't in a long time: isolated. I noticed the social connections around me and I felt left out. I used to feel this way a lot and it came from a place of low self-esteem that manifested itself in social estrangement. I don't mean that people wanted nothing to do with me, but rather the opposite. I declined social opportunities because I had better things to do like go home and be a hermit. Well eventually the invitations stop coming. I really need to work on investing in my social life so that I can have one.

As goofy as I can be I've always had an heir of uptightness and it comes from being uncomfortable and not knowing what to say. This has improved over the years, especially now that I've transformed inside and out, but I still feel like I'm not fun. I want to work on being fun, but I'm not sure where to begin.

Side note: Saw some hotties at work today and it's still weird yet cool to look at a woman I'm attracted to and feel like I could have her and not like a worthless piece of shit.

Time flies. Couple of make up days and then it's onto Stage 2.

I want to write about a situation I find myself in. Around the time that I completed AM6 for the second time, I went out for drinks one night with a buddy of mine and we ran into this girl that he knows. Long story short we end up at his place and the booze is flowing but I taper off because I plan to drive home. At around 3am she protests to my driving home and insists I stay in the guest bedroom at her place which is close by. I'm not stupid. We flirted a little that night and it's clear at this point that she's DTF. But I told her no I'm going home. If you've read any of my stuff you know why I declined.

Fast forward like 2 months and we run into her again. This time I add her to FB and she messages me to say hi. This could lead to something and if it doesn't I lose face for not pushing things forward. I'm so sick of this pattern and I know that I'm entirely responsible for it. That is all.

That's the first step, to admit that you are getting in your own way. Self sabotage is the single most common reason why guys aren't getting laid. It's not that they lack game or looks, it's a perfect cop out to think this. So now that you have identified that, what are you going to do about it?

Before I understood this myself, I was basically getting into 2 types of situations with girls. This was in art school.

1. Being over-the-top loud and aggressive just to get attention and validation. They say assholes get laid and I was a dumb kid barely scratching the surface. I was more concerned with being percieved as badass than actually getting laid. People thought I was a player, other guys feared me because I'm good looking. I only got laid if I was wasted or the girl initiated sex.

2. Awkward, shy and timid conversations with girls who were cute and inexperienced. They wanted to be my girlfriend. I tried to have sex with them, but they kept holding back. No timid girls for the Sickologist. You can't play boyfriend role and suddenly turn aggressive.

The root of all this; below average self image. In the years prior to college, lots of girls were expressing interest in me, but there was always some kind of excuse.

Fix your self image, and say fuck it whenever you talk to girls. You probably don't have to take the hard route at this point. Just focus on actually getting laid, it's the most simple idea ever. And if you ever feel a subconcious urge to pussy out again, remember that she would fuck uglier guys than you.

(03-25-2016, 06:01 AM)Sickologist Wrote: [ -> ]That's the first step, to admit that you are getting in your own way. Self sabotage is the single most common reason why guys aren't getting laid. It's not that they lack game or looks, it's a perfect cop out to think this. So now that you have identified that, what are you going to do about it?

Before I understood this myself, I was basically getting into 2 types of situations with girls. This was in art school.

1. Being over-the-top loud and aggressive just to get attention and validation. They say assholes get laid and I was a dumb kid barely scratching the surface. I was more concerned with being percieved as badass than actually getting laid. People thought I was a player, other guys feared me because I'm good looking. I only got laid if I was wasted or the girl initiated sex.

2. Awkward, shy and timid conversations with girls who were cute and inexperienced. They wanted to be my girlfriend. I tried to have sex with them, but they kept holding back. No timid girls for the Sickologist. You can't play boyfriend role and suddenly turn aggressive.

The root of all this; below average self image. In the years prior to college, lots of girls were expressing interest in me, but there was always some kind of excuse.

Fix your self image, and say **** it whenever you talk to girls. You probably don't have to take the hard route at this point. Just focus on actually getting laid, it's the most simple idea ever. And if you ever feel a subconcious urge to pussy out again, remember that she would **** uglier guys than you.

How is your Situation now after 13 month of Aos be honest plz

Aos is NOT some kind of holy grail that will magically turn you into a stud. What it does is making you take a good, hard look at yourself to identify the flaws that hold you back, appearance wise. In these 13 months I've taken huge steps towards improving my appearance. Working out hard, eating right, taking care of my skin, getting the coolest haircuts and developing my sense of fashion to a point where people think I just popped out of an old James Dean movie.

Before aos I'd rate myself 8-9 on a scale to 10. Today I'm 10.

Attracting hotter girls than before, still scared to approach in daytime. Beast at night time, getting laid 1 out 3/4 nights for the last 2 years. I'm going out 1-2 nights a week.

Trust me when I say this; this is optimal success. No pick up artist is doing better than this in night game. If they claim otherwise, they're lying or paying for it.

A guy who taught me a lot about women said the best you can get are 30 night lays a year which is crazy success.

30 women a year is crazy thats what i get after alle the multistages...

Then you're really pushing it, approaching like a maniac. Good for you. Maybe you'll squash all records soon enough.

I'll add another aos effect that I forgot, it'll make you calm, like REALLY CALM

If you have 30 women pursuing you continuously throughout the year wow sparks the imagination

Just read something on theredpill sub-reddit that spoke to me. It's HERE if you're interested, but I'll summarize it for you. This guy was a dating coach who met a lot of late bloomers. I lost my V at 25 so I can relate. He talks how a number of these guys put in the work to become successful with women yet remained unfulfilled. He argues that this is because not getting laid was part of a bigger problem which is that these guys have never been on top of the social hierarchy. I never looked at it this way, but I have certainly felt and continue to feel a hole in my life (which this article has helped me to define) from the absence of being a social winner.

In grade school I was teased and bullied for being overweight, and in high school my popularity on a scale of 1-10 never exceeded a 6. At best, I have been at the top of the pecking order of a group of betas. The OP also talks about how it can be challenging once you're out of school to join the in crowd or create one that you rank highly in, and I can relate to that too. The people I know who were popular in the past still participate in some form of those social circles. And that history has informed their character. I've spent my 20s rebuilding myself, which puts me in a unique position, but I don't have those connections or experiences to draw upon.

Let's be real here. We are talking about social validation. We can argue about how a real man should generate validation from within, but we are human beings. Social animals that fall into a hierarchy whether we like it or not, and our place in it determines to an extent how we are treated and what benefits we enjoy.

The OP offers no suggestions on how to build up a social presence or reconcile a past of social estrangement. It's hard to relate to people when you don't have those experiences to draw upon. I need to work on this. Any suggestions?

It's been suggested to me a couple of times to go to meetups of like minded people (like for me tech meetups) and expand from there. The problem I feel with such an approach is those are not the kind of people I want to branch out my social vines with.

Is there any sort of meet up scene you might be able to, for lack of a better term, infiltrate successfully to achieve the social goals you seek?

That's why my main priority has always been to get better socially. Transcendent alpha sounds groovy in theory, but every transcendent alpha is or has been on top, and therefore, isn't famished by social power. But if you take a social noob and ask him to be out of the social hierarchy altogether, that doesn't help his overall self-esteem much.

@apolloux
lol, this is the exact reason I don't attend the meetups, those are kind of people I do not want to be friends with.

(03-25-2016, 04:48 PM)essy Wrote: [ -> ]Just read something on theredpill sub-reddit that spoke to me. It's HERE if you're interested, but I'll summarize it for you. This guy was a dating coach who met a lot of late bloomers. I lost my V at 25 so I can relate. He talks how a number of these guys put in the work to become successful with women yet remained unfulfilled. He argues that this is because not getting laid was part of a bigger problem which is that these guys have never been on top of the social hierarchy. I never looked at it this way, but I have certainly felt and continue to feel a hole in my life (which this article has helped me to define) from the absence of being a social winner.

In grade school I was teased and bullied for being overweight, and in high school my popularity on a scale of 1-10 never exceeded a 6. At best, I have been at the top of the pecking order of a group of betas. The OP also talks about how it can be challenging once you're out of school to join the in crowd or create one that you rank highly in, and I can relate to that too. The people I know who were popular in the past still participate in some form of those social circles. And that history has informed their character. I've spent my 20s rebuilding myself, which puts me in a unique position, but I don't have those connections or experiences to draw upon.

Let's be real here. We are talking about social validation. We can argue about how a real man should generate validation from within, but we are human beings. Social animals that fall into a hierarchy whether we like it or not, and our place in it determines to an extent how we are treated and what benefits we enjoy.

The OP offers no suggestions on how to build up a social presence or reconcile a past of social estrangement. It's hard to relate to people when you don't have those experiences to draw upon. I need to work on this. Any suggestions?

Interesting i have never seen it from this side

I for example complain a lot and feel this hole


And its a good article thats why i am shocked when poeple say to me you need validation i mean who needs not.