Subliminal Talk

Where'd you go? How are your results?

I'm alive. More to come.

So here we are. I did not complete round 2 of SM3. Stopped around stage 4. the 10h a day commitment became a burden. Specifically, the 2 waking hours of having to wear headphones without interruption. If I run subs again, it's 8h a day while I sleep, with the occasional 1h of headphones.

So what's changed? Not much. I got older. I haven't had sex in almost 6 years now and I'm sure I don't even fully understand what kind of impact that's had on my mental health. It's the same old story. Opportunities come and go, and I don't pursue them because most days my confidence sucks.

~

I wrote so much more about why my confidence sucks, and details about my life which explain why I am the way I am and feel the way I do lately, but after a few days of drafting it's just too much of a time sink to pour it all out and edit. Plus I'm sure most of you don't want to read a novel about me. I will share snippets if/when it becomes relevant to do so.

~

Things are looking up lately and it's all mental. Fear is powerful, but so is routine. Acceptance is cancer.

DMSI is about 2 hours of use.You might want to use it for your goals.

(10-23-2017, 02:23 PM)Roy Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI is about 2 hours of use.You might want to use it for your goals.

Not entirely comfortable with DMSI.

Plan on running OPE while I sleep for the minimum of 90 days.

Walked into bux today and made brief eye contact with a cute azn girl. Bought my coffee and went to get a lid. The same girl walks up beside me and sort of plays the napkins as if she's just creating an excuse to be there. We make eye contact again. I was intelligent enough to recognize the opportunity, but in moments like that my instincts are bad. I turned away and walked out. I knew almost immediately that I fucked up.

The situation made me conscious of how noticeable I was today, even though I didn't feel like I stood out that much. I walked into a different store and tried on a jacket. As I was taking it off, this middle aged man approached me and asked if I worked there. My attire, and demeanour for that matter, did not suggest in the least that I worked at this place. I told him no and as his wife walked by she said sorry and told me that I have a strong presence. Again, didn't feel like I did.

After a period of feeling low and unmotivated and unaccomplished—and disliking those feelings, I have had a bit of a renaissance lately. I've been pushing myself to have a positive, empowering attitude, and I have channeled this through productivity. One thing that I read recently that stuck with me is, "You have time for everything. You just don't spend it wisely." It's actually disgusting to think about how much I let what I 'feel' like doing govern my actions, or lack thereof. I'm making a conscious effort now to get the most out of my time.

The big picture here is this. My instincts, in key areas of my life, suck. It's basically that episode of Seinfeld where George arrives at the same conclusion. And if I'm not happy with how my life is going, then I need to do things differently. It's the only way to get new results.

If you have not had sex for six years, what do you plan on changing this time? Do you have a specific strategy in mind?

This happened before my last post.

There's an incredibly sexy trainer at my gym. Like 9/10. Seriously, she's hot. Because of the layout, we're usually on opposite ends. Once in a while I look over at her, and often she's looking in my direction. She was dating another trainer. He wasn't taller or bigger than me, but he was very macho/masculine the way he carried himself. Saw him in the change room once. He's well endowed. Anyways, he has since disappeared completely from the gym. Not sure what happened there.

Now she's not always training. Sometimes she's working out. The other day we were both working out in the same area. We exchanged glance a few times. Fast forward a little and we're within 10 feet of each other. We continue to exchange glances. Understand that I'm intimidated by her beauty. I'm doing something that has me facing one way and then the other. I can see through peripheral vision that she's checking me out while she thinks I can't see her. I try to play it cool between sets by not spending the whole time turned towards her. In reality I think I gave the impression that I was uncomfortable with knowing that I was being checked out. I seize up a little in situations like that. I become self-conscious.

More time passes and I look over. Her body language is open and inviting. Maybe this is me reading into it, but there was almost a little bit of frustration in her eyes. Ultimately, I finished my work and walked away. As usual, I did nothing. With girls like this I have a hard time believing that they're attracted to me. I don't feel like I'm on the same level. And the idea that I could associate sexually/romantically with a girl that attractive is difficult to process, let alone accept. So it's a self-esteem thing, but it also has to do with being inexperienced with women, and penis size (especially knowing her ex was a hung textbook alpha), and sexual stamina.

So yeah, there's a wall and I'm hitting it hard.

Quote:As usual, I did nothing. With girls like this I have a hard time believing that they're attracted to me. I don't feel like I'm on the same level. And the idea that I could associate sexually/romantically with a girl that attractive is difficult to process, let alone accept. So it's a self-esteem thing, but it also has to do with being inexperienced with women

Spot on. Feels like I'm reading myself.
Having low-self esteem can really cripple one's life. And the worse part is even tho you know it and work toward overcoming it, there is no real decent change, and reality is still as harsh.
This is a "impossible" problem. You need a real experience to kickstart acceptance, confidence and high self-esteem, but in the first place you need those to be successful with women.
I guess this is why it is so hard for some people to get decent results with subiminals. You have a program telling you how awesome and all you are, but everyday in your waking life the reality tells you it's definitelly NOT the case.
I experienced this on DMSI for instance. While listening to it I feel amazing and all but when I go out and see reality and I automatically revert back to the beta mental state.
Past experiences also weight a lot in how the brain process what's acceptable and what isn't. When in all your life what you ever got from the opposite is nothing but friendship, obviously you'll tend to believe that having more than that is a mere fantasy.

Well, we're going to get over it eventually .

Or you could be like me, and have no trouble attracting women and even speaking to them, but manage to turn every single one of them off when you speak to them.