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To begin with, this program's TID affected me for about 2 weeks before I finished it, that I can see. And during the TID period, it had some rather striking effects. I didn't even know it was TID - which, when you think about it, speaks volumes for how well it works. The previous version generated a lot of fear during use. This one, very little to none that I can make out.
The thing I most noticed about the TID was that I suddenly started wanting to do something I have been aware that I would end up doing for about the last 10 years. Heck, maybe the last 14 years. I always knew I would end up doing it because I have always seen it steady showing up in the models. Never wanted to do it before. All of a sudden, I'm thinking about doing it, planning to do it, contemplating how to set it up, and looking forward to doing it. And it felt so natural that it really didn't even fully catch my attention that there was a change! I haven't done it yet, but I have almost everything ready to do it, and it's coming.
A couple days before I released OF 5.75G, I started feeling its effects directly. It felt like a strange sort of calm a couple days before, as if I was wearing a blanket of "calmness" that was physical. The day I released, I could feel nervousness, but it was a very quiet voice and feeling. It was there, it made itself known, but it was like a child quietly shivering in fear sitting on a bench waiting for something, without even being sure how much to fear or how valid the fear was. Enough fear to notice, identify, but not enough to bother me. Not the usual overwhelming experience.
The first night I used it (night before last) I noticed that even through a loop of Tranquilizer B it took me longer than usual to fall asleep, but probably not more than 30-45 minutes total. My usual is 10-20. I could feel the fearful parts of me anxiously awaiting the start of the program, and yet their anxiety was as if the volume had been turned down very low, like a stereo system capable of blowing out the windows of your house with volume was set to be a barely detectable whisper.
When I awoke the first day, I did not feel fear or anxiety. During the day, I did not feel fear or anxiety until around 2 PM, and then I felt a little of the very quiet, subtle anxiety. It wasn't consistent.
Last night, I felt a little of it again as I was going to bed, but there was no delay in sleep. I fell asleep faster than usual this time, in less than 10 minutes.
This morning, I am aware of a little more anxiety after awakening, but it's still a very quiet, very muted experience. I feel unusual energy in the skin on my arms. The anxiety isn't directed at anything in particular; it's as if the fearful parts of me know it's time to let go and they're just generally anxious about doing so. A little like waiting in line for a ride at a water park that you're a little nervous about, but nothing that would slow you down or stop you from going on that particular water slide.
Given the difference between OF 5G and OF 5.75G so far I have to say I am very pleased and impressed.
I can see that enough use of this program is going to unlock me in a lot of ways that will result in an avalanche of new opportunities. I'm becoming aware at some subtle level of all the little latches that are locked in place holding me where I am, instead of allowing me to move freely toward my goals. They were hidden before. Now as I start to identify them, most of them are still locked, but they are being worked on, I can tell. It's only a matter of time before they unlock and unlatch, and I am free to do as I please with regards to achieving my full potentials.
That's exciting.
I am beginning to realize just how much money and time my fears have cost me... wasted... not just potentially, but actually. I can see and feel myself changing in ways that will not accept this going forward.
Holy cow... what this means for UMS2... it's mind boggling.
I felt nervous for a couple hours after awakening, and the rest of today has been entirely free of fear and nervousness. I'm starting to feel the DRS power up again.
(06-21-2020, 09:01 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am beginning to realize just how much money and time my fears have cost me... wasted... not just potentially, but actually. I can see and feel myself changing in ways that will not accept this going forward.
Holy cow... what this means for UMS2... it's mind boggling.
Didnt even know you'd started this journal,until 4:45 am,this mornng,doodling around on IML, Shannon,glad ja did though!! Holy Cosmos Batman....the progress you're already making ,the experiences you're already having! I'll say it again,Man,Holy Cosmos Batman! Wow. UMS2 with this 4.9'er and DRS.....whew the crust and da dust,of all this old crud thats being holding us back fer so long is gonna be blown away. All that coupled with EHAPR & a New and Improved version of USLM,as well and lord knows what ever else may go in the mix right along with the Platinum Build!!! Dang!! wow man. This is some incredible stuff, it is indeed, mind boggling!!thanks for sharing your some of your experiences thus far,Shannon. I love the 'natural feeling' these new subs give,also,Shannon. amazing!!
(06-22-2020, 01:05 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (06-21-2020, 09:01 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am beginning to realize just how much money and time my fears have cost me... wasted... not just potentially, but actually. I can see and feel myself changing in ways that will not accept this going forward.
Holy cow... what this means for UMS2... it's mind boggling.
Didnt even know you'd started this journal,until 4:45 am,this mornng,doodling around on IML, Shannon,glad ja did though!! Holy Cosmos Batman....the progress you're already making ,the experiences you're already having! I'll say it again,Man,Holy Cosmos Batman! Wow. UMS2 with this 4.9'er and DRS.....whew the crust and da dust,of all this old crud thats being holding us back fer so long is gonna be blown away. All that coupled with EHAPR & a New and Improved version of USLM,as well and lord knows what ever else may go in the mix right along with the Platinum Build!!! Dang!! wow man. This is some incredible stuff, it is indeed, mind boggling!!thanks for sharing your some of your experiences thus far,Shannon. I love the 'natural feeling' these new subs give,also,Shannon. amazing!!
Yeah, isn't that really nice? I think it's probably going to get even more natural over time as we approach 6G final, too.
Today I started actually working on what's been waiting for 10+ years for me to do. It's not so much making me nervous anymore as, I really don't know what I'm doing with this just yet. I feel frustrated because circumstances are making this unusually difficult to do, and I ended up throwing out my whole day's work because I realized it wasn't what was needed. But I'm doing it, no more hiding behind excuses or ignoring it.
Caught myself a couple of times today doing things in public that I normally wouldn't do. For example, while waiting for a host at the restaurant I went to for dinner, I was "dancing" with my girlfriend (if you can call it that). Didn't care who saw me. That's definitely not my normal.
The experience was very "still" for me emotionally today, fear-wise. I don't know how else to describe it; like the surface of a lake that is perfectly smooth and still. There just wasn't any. I am concerned with doing this new thing right from the get-go, but it's not fear. Fear was preventing me from doing it. Now I'm going to do it even though I have no idea where I'll find the time. And I'm going to do it because it's going to make a huge positive difference.
I am increasingly pleased and impressed. This program is going to have huge impact on my life in several directions, I can already tell. Very much looking forward to the changes and improvements this is resulting in, and will eventually to result in. Very surprised how smooth and easy this process has been so far. It shouldn't, this is what I designed it to do, but I've failed enough times with FRM to be skeptical of big changes. I'm going to let time show me what FRM 4.9 can actually do before getting my hopes up, but so far we are definitely on the intended track of making the process smooth, easy, simple, natural and comfortable compared to the previous version.
(06-22-2020, 08:37 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Today I started actually working on what's been waiting for 10+ years for me to do. It's not so much making me nervous anymore as, I really don't know what I'm doing with this just yet. I feel frustrated because circumstances are making this unusually difficult to do, and I ended up throwing out my whole day's work because I realized it wasn't what was needed. But I'm doing it, no more hiding behind excuses or ignoring it.
Caught myself a couple of times today doing things in public that I normally wouldn't do. For example, while waiting for a host at the restaurant I went to for dinner, I was "dancing" with my girlfriend (if you can call it that). Didn't care who saw me. That's definitely not my normal.
The experience was very "still" for me emotionally today, fear-wise. I don't know how else to describe it; like the surface of a lake that is perfectly smooth and still. There just wasn't any. I am concerned with doing this new thing right from the get-go, but it's not fear. Fear was preventing me from doing it. Now I'm going to do it even though I have no idea where I'll find the time. And I'm going to do it because it's going to make a huge positive difference.
I am increasingly pleased and impressed. This program is going to have huge impact on my life in several directions, I can already tell. Very much looking forward to the changes and improvements this is resulting in, and will eventually to result in. Very surprised how smooth and easy this process has been so far. It shouldn't, this is what I designed it to do, but I've failed enough times with FRM to be skeptical of big changes. I'm going to let time show me what FRM 4.9 can actually do before getting my hopes up, but so far we are definitely on the intended track of making the process smooth, easy, simple, natural and comfortable compared to the previous version.
I really wanted to comment on this part. I think of FRMs as motivators that try to motivate you to let go of fears however past FRMs typically had an undertone of "do it you little punk!" to which the subconscious goes "but I don't wanna!!!!" FRM 4.9 is like a smooth talking, empathetic, best-friend/mentor who understands where you're coming from (in terms of fear) but puts its arm around you and says "you got this homie, you got this" to which the conscious and subconscious go "you know what? I can do this, I CAN do this!" If I could compare it to an actual character it would be Uncle Iroh from the Avatar: The Last Airbender television show.
Like you said Shannon, we won't know the full impact of FRM 4.9 until maybe about a few months into the future but it does seem like improvements were made. I'm happy for you because I know progress towards 6G has been a slog to say the least so just to see
some progress is encouraging. I will say, based on my experiences with OF 5.75G, that it seems to (and I reserve the right to be wrong about this) act almost like a dentist would during a dental procedure.
Step 1: Examine the site (assessing the fear)
Step 2: Numb the site (reduce awareness/discomfort from the fear)
Step 3: Operate (fear removal)
Anyway, don't wanna hog down your journal. Just stopping by.
I have been working on 6G since 2012. Can you believe that? 8 darned years now. "Slog" is an understatement.
FRM 4.9 is using a very different approach that comes from deeply understanding fear. I spent a lot of time researching what fear is and how it works. It looks promising so far, which very much pleases me. I'm glad you're getting similar results!
(06-23-2020, 03:25 AM)K-Train Wrote: [ -> ] (06-22-2020, 08:37 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Today I started actually working on what's been waiting for 10+ years for me to do. It's not so much making me nervous anymore as, I really don't know what I'm doing with this just yet. I feel frustrated because circumstances are making this unusually difficult to do, and I ended up throwing out my whole day's work because I realized it wasn't what was needed. But I'm doing it, no more hiding behind excuses or ignoring it.
Caught myself a couple of times today doing things in public that I normally wouldn't do. For example, while waiting for a host at the restaurant I went to for dinner, I was "dancing" with my girlfriend (if you can call it that). Didn't care who saw me. That's definitely not my normal.
The experience was very "still" for me emotionally today, fear-wise. I don't know how else to describe it; like the surface of a lake that is perfectly smooth and still. There just wasn't any. I am concerned with doing this new thing right from the get-go, but it's not fear. Fear was preventing me from doing it. Now I'm going to do it even though I have no idea where I'll find the time. And I'm going to do it because it's going to make a huge positive difference.
I am increasingly pleased and impressed. This program is going to have huge impact on my life in several directions, I can already tell. Very much looking forward to the changes and improvements this is resulting in, and will eventually to result in. Very surprised how smooth and easy this process has been so far. It shouldn't, this is what I designed it to do, but I've failed enough times with FRM to be skeptical of big changes. I'm going to let time show me what FRM 4.9 can actually do before getting my hopes up, but so far we are definitely on the intended track of making the process smooth, easy, simple, natural and comfortable compared to the previous version.
I really wanted to comment on this part. I think of FRMs as motivators that try to motivate you to let go of fears however past FRMs typically had an undertone of "do it you little punk!" to which the subconscious goes "but I don't wanna!!!!" FRM 4.9 is like a smooth talking, empathetic, best-friend/mentor who understands where you're coming from (in terms of fear) but puts its arm around you and says "you got this "Fella", you got this" to which the conscious and subconscious go "you know what? I can do this, I CAN do this!" If I could compare it to an actual character it would be Uncle Iroh from the Avatar: The Last Airbender television show.
Like you said Shannon, we won't know the full impact of FRM 4.9 until maybe about a few months into the future but it does seem like improvements were made. I'm happy for you because I know progress towards 6G has been a slog to say the least so just to see some progress is encouraging. I will say, based on my experiences with OF 5.75G, that it seems to (and I reserve the right to be wrong about this) act almost like a dentist would during a dental procedure.
Step 1: Examine the site (assessing the fear)
Step 2: Numb the site (reduce awareness/discomfort from the fear)
Step 3: Operate (fear removal)
Anyway, don't wanna hog down your journal. Just stopping by.
Dude,Dude,Dude!! K-train you are brilliant !!! excellent renderings,thank you,Man!!
Another day without consciously detectable fear, or even any nervousness. Very nice.
(06-23-2020, 12:19 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I have been working on 6G since 2012. Can you believe that? 8 darned years now. "Slog" is an understatement.
FRM 4.9 is using a very different approach that comes from deeply understanding fear. I spent a lot of time researching what fear is and how it works. It looks promising so far, which very much pleases me. I'm glad you're getting similar results!
What's crazy is that this version of FRM is more so focused on success than overrall speed so it's crazy to think this thing can get
better!
@ncbeareatingman : thanks bro! Always good to see you around keith!
Yesterday was a rocky day for me emotionally. I suspect the majority of that is because my girlfriend was cranky and upset from the moment she woke up, and it took most of the day for her to calm down. She and I have so much emotional connection that she can influence my emotional state. But I managed to pull the day back on track by being loving and ridiculously silly with her. If I can make her laugh, things usually get better, so I jokingly tried to give her a "Rudolph", or a hickey on the tip of her nose. This and a pretend effort to give her a hickey on the eyelid was ridiculous enough to bring her back laughing, and we had a good day the rest of the day.
So far fear is just... not there. It's almost like there's some sort of "anti-fear" there in it's place. Very hard to describe. Girlfriend is showing minor signs of dealing with fears, which she has shown before, but it has never been this calm or muted for her before.
She and I have been having interesting dreams, and night before last she reported having a dream within a dream within a dream, just like the movie, although what happened in the dreams was different than the movie. Can't remember the name of the movie.
There has been a strong presence of simple stillness that dominates my awareness lately. I don't know how else to describe it. Beingness, awareness while observing, simply experiencing my existence... I don't know how to describe it. But there's no fear and there's no anxiety for a couple days now. Although yesterday for a short time, maybe 20 or 30 minutes, I could tell that some part of me was very upset at something. I could not tell what, and the upset wasn't fear or anxiety, just being upset. It made me not want to work, so I played Skyrim until it passed and then I went back to work. No use trying to force it, so I simply let it be what it was and allowed that part of me to process whatever it was processing.
I'm tempted to describe this stillness as "Zen", but I'm not sure how well I understand "Zen". It is an emotional stillness so perfect that its as if I am simply waiting for something with perfect patience, and simply "being" in the process. Awareness without disturbance or action. It's very interesting.
Inception.
The difference between DOing and BEing...
I like to see it as, we are human BEings and not human DOings..
Sounds like you arrived at the centre
(06-25-2020, 01:28 PM)Omni3 Wrote: [ -> ]Inception.
The difference between DOing and BEing...
I like to see it as, we are human BEings and not human DOings..
Sounds like you arrived at the centre
Word!!!
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