Subliminal Talk

Ah, summer in Florida. By the time I got to the beach, the sky was black as far as the eye could see, north, south, east and west.

I live 7 miles from the beach, but because of how stupidly things are set up, that 7 miles takes 24 minutes to drive and is really more like 14 miles minimum. The specific beach I was going to takes around 40 minutes to get to. From that point, it takes at least as long to get back. It's been raining ever since.

I'm still feeling exhausted and emotionally down, but I feel better than I did. I think something is being dealt with.

Hye Shannon, this sharing relates to a deep form of fear,so I decided to post it here Next time ,I'll probably post this type of thing in either my journal or your public journal. in short (Ha!) Today

I saw something in me that I've known about for years...it is a form of fear, and that is clear as a bell. Its the "Wow things are going really well,and IM surfing the cosmic waves for about two days and then this fear comes in ,of either its NOT fully OK for you to be happy and at ease,out of Fear that something bad is going to happen,or some other some such thing is gonna come along and f**k it up or it ll show up in the form of a disappointment, hurt like hell, and related.
It's like a holding pattern. its ok to be some what happy and at ease,but not that much,and not that often. All apparently in the name of keeping safe,secure & Ok!! I will later try to formulate my thoughts and feelings around more of this ..,more 'cohesively' as I really want to get this out in the open and do it justice by addressing it accurately and as clearly as possible.

Im doing some cleansing-detox ing right now so Im not at clear headed,as I'd like!
Its a different kind of sabatoge though and all connected in, rooted & based in FEAR. There's Guilt rapped around this stuff as well. Guilt: Another form of fear based limitedness designed or employed by da big boss Mr.Fear,to either slow the process down,or shut it down slowly thru punishment manifested in some form or fashion

I know you're swamped with a "It" load of
work,but man oh man,when the day and time comes for UMS2 to be released,I can hardy wait to jump on it and start dissolving these massive, annoying,troubling Fears!! something is really bugging me and trying to bring me down!!

Light at the proverbial Tunnel's end!! Yahh- hooo!!

(07-06-2020, 01:48 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ]Hye Shannon, this sharing relates to a deep form of fear,so I decided to post it here Next time ,I'll probably post this type of thing in either my journal or your public journal. in short (Ha!)  Today

  I saw something  in me that I've known about for years...it is a form of fear, and that is clear as a bell. Its the  "Wow things are going  really well,and IM surfing the cosmic waves for about two days  and then this fear comes in ,of either its NOT fully OK for you to be happy and at ease,out of Fear that something bad is going to happen,or some other some such thing is gonna come along and f**k Iit up or it ll show up in the form of a disappointment, hurt like hell, and related.
   It's like a holding pattern. its ok to be some what happy and at ease,but not that much,and not that often. All apparently in the name of keeping safe,secure & Ok!! I will later try to formulate my thoughts and feelings around  more of this later.,more 'cohesively' as I really want to get this out in the open and do it justice by addressing it accurately and as clearly as possible.

Im doing some cleansing-detox ing right now so Im not at clear headed,as such.
Its a different kind of sabatoge though and all connected in,rooted  & based in FEAR.  There's Guilt  rapped around this stuff as well.

     I know you're swamped with a  "It" load of
work,but man oh man,when the day and time comes for UMS2  to be released,I can hardy wait to jump on it and start dissolving these massive, annoying,troubling Fears!! something is really bugging me and trying to bring me down!!

 Light at the proverbial Tunnel's end!! Yahh- hooo!!

I'm looking forward to getting that out as well.  

You're going to find, when you make it through the processing of and removal of what you fear, that the freedom is amazing.  It's like you were living in a tiny cage before and it just doesn't fit anymore.  But it's not all roses and chocolates getting there.  You know some days there will be challenging things to deal with along the way.  But I've done the best I could to make the process as easy as possible.

There is definitely growth as a result of this thing, though!

I connected so much with what you just wrote Keith. What you described sounded like my very own life pattern.

THANK YOU for posting that. Sometimes I think I'm alone, then boom, someone gets real. Thank you for having the courage to share that. It took major guts.

I'm looking forward to getting that out as well.  

You're going to find, when you make it through the processing of and removal of what you fear, that the freedom is amazing.  It's like you were living in a tiny cage before and it just doesn't fit anymore.  But it's not all roses and chocolates getting there.  You know some days there will be challenging things to deal with along the way.  But I've done the best I could to make the process as easy as possible.

There is definitely growth as a result of this thing, though!
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Wow F........ A Man!! Big time!!  Im ready Shannon. Really and truly Man. Whatever it takes to git freer to really free. Lets h weave at it.

That new discovery just maybe the bigger ticket  to helping to  clear out all ths limited stuff,that  along with the new platinum lake build,DRS..ect!! Simply profound !! Changes are upon Us in big ways. Historic!! Life and game  changers Man!! Im "In" !!! Lets Ride!!



FInding Me:I connected so much with what you just wrote Keith. What you described sounded like my very own life pattern.

THANK YOU for posting that. Sometimes I think I'm alone, then boom, someone gets real. Thank you for having the courage to share that. It took major guts.
I want to be FREE!

Me: Thank you Man,kindly and deeply, isnt it amazing how,when one person tell their truth and experience it opens the way for others to do the same. I Love that both ways...being the one to do so,and hear/seeing someone else do so and follow up accordingly.

Since you could not enjoy the beach, I thought this would cheer you up 

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Thank you, I appreciate that.

When I go to the beach, I don't go for the reasons other people go. I go because it is a way for me to relax emotionally, and the experience of the sounds, the wind and the energy of the sun, wind and water are very rejuvenating for me. Most people go to get a tan or swim or play. I go to recharge, re-balance, enjoy quality time spent with my love and sometimes collect shells.

We didn't get to go to the beach yesterday, even though we were on a road not 50 feet from the ocean for a good 30 minutes passing beach entrance after beach entrance, all because of the rain. At first it depressed me even more, but my girl was being supportive and I tried to focus on gratitude for that. That seemed to help. So did acceptance: it is raining, I cannot change that, what else can I do that will make me feel better?

So we went to a Taco Bell and had lunch and food helped also. Then we went to the store so she could shop for what we needed (she "won't let me" go in the grocery store with my lung problems while SARS-COV-2 is about, trying to keep me safe) and then we headed home. Apparently I was still pretty depressed because she expressed hopelessness at ever being able to make me feel better. Yesterday was not an easy day for us, but we made it through.

Today I feel much better, and I should be able to work, if I can get the models to stabilize. They appear to be on the verge of unstable, and I'm having to spend more time than normal getting high confidence answers.

Last night was night two of no subliminals. I feel unusually warm ever since last night, and interestingly, I feel like I just ate a meal, completely full, but I haven't eaten since around 12 hours ago.

I can feel OF doing it's thing under the hood, but what exactly it's doing, I don't know. It's definitely still busy, though. I woke up this morning tired again, but not as tired as yesterday. Hoo boy, does OF take a lot of energy to run! It is making very deep changes that are not easily or lightly made, I can definitely feel that.

I know exactly why you go to the beach, cause I also go for the similiar reasons, I live on a peninsula, and I can not imagine living anywhere else because that would mean I would have to part from this nature and this untouched coast.

All my senses come alive near the sea, and I simply unwind and relax and bathe in the sounds and sights.....regardles the time of the year.

So today has been a much better day, much easier to handle. Started off with a little procrastination, but then I realized what was happening and I got on task right quick and made a lot of progress. The only thing in the way now is finishing this backup. I have very little left to do on the script, basically only Platinum Lake adjustments, and then I can build it.

Second day off and I am starting to recover from the energy demands of OF 5.75G. I wanted to sleep longer this morning, but as usual, when my dogs were done going out, my cat decided he wanted to be loved. So he comes over and lays down next to my face and starts purring very loudly and usually will wake me up with that, his tail, and sometimes by making it impossible for me to breathe. I love him to death, but damn. Let Master sleep!

Not so much.

I feel relatively good today. Looking forward to getting started on LTU6. Have not yet had anything concrete some out of the models on the potential breakthrough, but then I haven't really had much chance to work on that either.

I am definitely seeing how OF is removing fears and the process is so smooth that the only way I know they're gone is because I start thinking about doing what might have frightened me in the past, and contemplating how best to do it. That's pretty amazing in and of itself.

I was pleased to see a post about how OF is helping someone with his premature ejaculation. I'm expecting to see a lot of unusual results like that, which were not directly expected, but happen because the fear has been removed. I'm really curious how long it will take to start seeing some of the ones I am expecting. It's been 2 ASRB2 cycles on the one about PME. Not too shabby!

Last night/today is the third day "off" in this ASRB2 cycle.

This morning, as usual, I was awakened by my dogs whining to go outside. If only my mother had opted for a medium or large dog when she got puppies, but no... she wanted tiny and cute with microscopic bladders.

After getting up to let them out, my cat, as usual, has to start meowing because he wants out of the bedroom. So I had to get up again to open the door for him.

Then I start back to sleep and he comes over and lays on my face and starts purring loudly, so I can't sleep.

At this point, I hear my phone crackling while playing something. Last night's playlist was 1 loop of Tranquilizer B, so nothing should be playing. I look and somehow we are somehow most of the way through the COVID-19 experimental, which means there goes all hope of feeling rested when the next OF ASRB2 cycle starts, because just one loop of that experimental drops me like a rock for 2.5 days. How this happened, no idea, but NOT happy.

Get up and I start working, but GF gets up shortly after me and starts with breakfast. I can already tell she's cranky and moody today, no doubt because she needs to get back on OF. But that's for tonight. We decide what to do for breakfast, and before we even get it made, end up in an argument that could have seriously damaged our relationship for good. It was based on a challenge we are facing right now that there is currently no way to resolve, and communicating about it is very difficult also because she tends to feel a lot of guilt/shame/fear surrounding this (to the degree that she doesn't want to talk about it at all) when really there's nothing for her to feel that way about.

Instead of getting off in the wrong direction, I simply tried to explain to her my point of view. It took some patience, but I got it across, and then I extrapolated what she would be afraid of and assuaged her fears. That de-escalated the situation and now we are only dealing with her crankiness for the day, which will be dealt with when we start on OF again. I honestly can't wait to get back on it.

Me handling that argument (which was really more of a misunderstanding) that way was unusual for me, because normally her negativity would make me snappish and that would escalate things in the wrong direction. I attribute that to OF.

When we got home from the park (sometimes, we eat breakfast in the local park as a way of starting the day in a positive way), I sat down at my desk and started working. Then I realized, I need more space. So I looked at my desk, and it was covered in clutter, but I usually don't register it that way. This time, I saw a bunch of stuff that was unnecessary and either didn't need to be kept or didn't need to be on my desk.

I saw that there were some perfumery components from a week ago when I was tinkering with that, and realized that the fumes were making me cough more than necessary. My response was to throw away all the vials of dilutions that were old (instead of try to keep them, as I normally would) and put away all the full strength stuff.

Then I realized there was something else on my desk that didn't make sense to be there. So I dealt with it. And then another thing, and another. One side was cleared and I tried to go back to working, only to find myself cleaning and clearing off the other side of my desk. Once everything was off it, I wiped it down and cleared off the dust.

There was no resistance to this course of action, as there normally is, which is of course why it was cluttered in the first place. Now my desk is cleared off and clean, and I have plenty of space. This "cleaning and clearing a little bit at a time" thing has happened every day since I threw away my couch. No effort, no intent, just... oh, let me get rid of that.

This is the first time I have ever done this without being fed up with the clutter enough to make me upset first.

I am definitely enjoying what this program is doing to free me. I am wishing it was only 2 days off per ASSRB2 cycle, but I do need the rest! Yesterday after working I was so dead it was all I could do to stay awake until my normal bed time.

I asked GF if she was looking forward to getting back on OF tonight, and she said, "Not particularly." I asked why, and she told me that it's bringing up a lot of things she doesn't want to remember that are not easy or fun to deal with emotionally. She understands that she has to get through it to get past her fears, but it's not an easy journey for her. So I guess extremely emotionally sensitive types who have been through very painful experiences may not have the easiest time at the beginning.

It hasn't been all roses and chocolates for me either, but apparently its been easier for me. But I am looking forward to getting back to it.

OF is definitely having a major and positive impact on GF. She still hasn't had any of the negative or depressive episodes that used to force us to use LTU5 after 2-3 days without it. In fact yesterday was an amazingly positive day for her because of it unlocking her potential to execute UMS (which she hasn't run in about 4 weeks now). Her business is reselling clothes that she finds at places like Goodwill, which are high end brands that are marked at very low prices. She makes an amazing amount of profit on each piece. Normally she will go hunting for new inventory and come home with a few things, but yesterday she came home with half the store. That is amazing and unheard of all by itself, but even more amazing, it wasn't even a sale day. For her to find things she can make a good profit on without a sale going on is also quite unheard of.

I was struggling with procrastination yesterday. Some part of me is resisting finishing this special program I am working on for some reason. I suspect that the reason is, it will open the gateway to greater success, and something about that success scares my inner child. He is definitely dealing with something uncomfortable for him lately with OF, but we are still making progress. I still got work done, but not as much as I was wanting to. So today should be the day it is finished being built. I'm looking forward to starting LTU6.

Woke up this morning more tired than yesterday, but not as tired as I am at the end of the 6 day cycle. I can tell it's doing something by the tiredness too. And there is a general feeling of freedom that is growing from using this program as well. I like it.

One of my friends called me yesterday and during our conversation she said something that made me laugh because it made me realize she was having strong TID from OF, and was confused as to why she was doing the things she was doing in response to it. But she didn't even know the program existed, never mind what TID was. When I told her about it, she immediately decided to get herself a copy.

I look forward to getting through whatever this is my inner child is currently resisting.

Shannon, normally I'd be afraid (see what I did there???) to say this so soon into using a new program but I must say OF 5.75G has been a very welcome addition to my life man. When you say that freedom from fear is opportunity you're not lying man. It's like going from 2D television to IMAX 3D. Congratulations on the progress you've made. I also struggle with fear of success so I can understand your struggle. I'm still dealing with procrastination myself but the hold it has on me has been reduced to manageable levels.  I've got separate questions but I'll put them in the discussion journal as to not clog this journal. Anyway Shannon, congrats, thanks for not hiking up the price of OF 5.75G (yet  ) although a price increase is logically inevitable based upon the effects and results from the new power of these programs. I hope you and your girlfriend are able to get solid results as well from OF 5.75G. Peace my man.

(07-10-2020, 08:50 AM)K-Train Wrote: [ -> ]Shannon, normally I'd be afraid (see what I did there???) to say this so soon into using a new program but I must say OF 5.75G has been a very welcome addition to my life man. When you say that freedom from fear is opportunity you're not lying man. It's like going from 2D television to IMAX 3D. Congratulations on the progress you've made. I also struggle with fear of success so I can understand your struggle. I'm still dealing with procrastination myself but the hold it has on me has been reduced to manageable levels.  I've got separate questions but I'll put them in the discussion journal as to not clog this journal. Anyway Shannon, congrats, thanks for not hiking up the price of OF 5.75G (yet  ) although a price increase is logically inevitable based upon the effects and results from the new power of these programs. I hope you and your girlfriend are able to get solid results as well from OF 5.75G. Peace my man.

Thank you.  Although FRM 4.9 is not 100% my doing.  I did get one of the more important concepts from one of my customers, although it took me 9 months of thinking about how to make it work and script it to make it work.  But that customer of mine deserves thanks as well.  He knows who he is.  Much appreciated for the help and insight!  

We aren't going to be adjusting prices until it makes sense to do so, given the economic impact everything going on is having on people's ability to make money.  Yes, they're worth more than what I'm currently charging, but we have to make sure they are within the grasp of our primary target demographic also.  All in good time.

The procrastination was not very hard to overcome today.  I've accomplished more today in 1 hour than I did all of yesterday.  I think it has to do with the program getting back to dominance during an early part of the usage cycles.  Just as with UMS and LTU5, over time, this will pass and then it'll just work.   But first we have to get past the fears that trigger the resistance.  I have every confidence that that will happen.