(09-20-2019, 06:58 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (09-19-2019, 06:16 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (09-19-2019, 04:11 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]If your wife's personality is the type I think it is by the sounds of it, that personality type is very instinctual in their thinking and not necessarily very good at self awareness.
Sometimes she seems to be like what you described, and sometimes she’s in her head and micro analyzing every little detail and nuance of everything she sees thinks and does. That often leads her to be as critical of herself as she was of me. It was one or the other, and flipped randomly. Lately she seems to be finding some middle ground.
That is good to hear. I smell progress.
As do I. And this is from her just running one loop three nights and taking seven off. She’s going to run it all night tonight and tomorrow. That’ll get me some extra exposure too, we’ll see what that does. We’re starting her on that tonight so if it exhausts her, she doesn’t have to work in the morning.
Did I see that you mentioned getting on Universal Healing in the near future? We’d both really like to see what that will do against her emotional issues and MS (I strongly suspect that the two things are intimately related). If it can knock her symptoms back, it would improve her quality of life greatly.
ME: One thing has really stood out for the last couple of weeks, and I’ve neglected to mention it. I feel an energy surge go up my spine and out the top of my head at least a couple of times a day. It happens most frequently while driving in traffic, so I assume it’s the shield firing to protect me from road rage type energy. It does happen at random times while I’m just sitting there though. Wonder whose thinking bad thoughts at me.
ME: Odd evening. If I didn’t know better I’d say I was getting DAMSI TID. I own DAMSI, but I have never run it, and I have at least two more important things to worry about before I even consider doing it. However this evening my wife and I went out to dinner with my best friend, who is a trucker and spending the night in the area and two things happened.
First, I noticed that a good looking restaurant employee was cleaning one of the tables, and she looked right at me and bent over into the booth, giving me quite a nice view. She was looking at me over her shoulder, and when she saw that I was looking, she well, enhanced the position and made the view even better. It was pretty clear that it wasn’t an accident.
The second was that there was this group of girls at another table who were obviously out celebrating one’s birthday or something. She was wearing this weird tiara thing, so she stood out. At one point I looked over and saw that Birthday girl was staring right at me I locked eyes with her for a second. It’s hard to describe the look on her face or the energy that came with it. I have a better than average amount of experience with women, but I’ve never had that level of obvious animalistic lust directed at me with one look. It wasn’t the normal “I want you” look women give, and it was so intense that it was almost disconcerting.
All this happened with my wife sitting right there too. Odd.
ME: Well, something that could have been very bad, very expensive, or both happened. My wife and roommate managed between them to lock our two year old in the car. This is the second time this has happened. Fortunately, this time it was cool, it was in our garage, and I was around. Last time it was very hot, she was a couple hundred miles away, and a local deputy had to break a window. This was a good thing actually. I tried a couple of tricks I know for getting into a car, but no dice. I was about to use my emergancy tool on the same window that was broken before when I noticed that whoever had installed it had done a real crap job. Bad enough that I was able to use a screwdriver to carefully pry the window off without damaging it. That saves us a few hundred dollars at least. All I have to do is get someone to re install the window, and I don’t have to pay for the part. I’ve never been more grateful for shoddy workmanship.
ME: Having the car window stuck back in cost $75. This is considerably better than the $500 or more that replacing it would have cost had I had to break it. Money saved there.
How does it keep happening that your kid gets locked in? I can't figure that out.
(09-24-2019, 10:54 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]How does it keep happening that your kid gets locked in? I can't figure that out.
In the first case she set the keys down on the seat by mistake, closed the door, and went to get him out of the back. In the other, she had left the keys in the ignition with the back door open and the roommate closed it. I have told her on many occasions that I always lock the car with the key set so I can’t have that happen.
Allow me to offer you some advice from someone who used to lock himself out of his house quite frequently and spent a lot of money on getting locksmiths. Get spare keys made and carry them in your wallet. Keep a spate in your kitchen drawer. Put one in her purse. Hide one in your yard.
(09-24-2019, 11:30 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Allow me to offer you some advice from someone who used to lock himself out of his house quite frequently and spent a lot of money on getting locksmiths. Get spare keys made and carry them in your wallet. Keep a spate in your kitchen drawer. Put one in her purse. Hide one in your yard.
LOL. Already on it. I just got one to carry on MY person at all times, one for the house, and a couple more.
(09-24-2019, 11:30 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Allow me to offer you some advice from someone who used to lock himself out of his house quite frequently and spent a lot of money on getting locksmiths. Get spare keys made and carry them in your wallet. Keep a spate in your kitchen drawer. Put one in her purse. Hide one in your yard.
Agreed!! Solutions in action!!
ME: I noticed an effect of the shield. My two year old doing normal manipulative two year old stuff (tantrums, crying, ect.) has absolutely no effect on me. I didn’t realize how much of an energetic component there was to that. This helps me be a more level headed parent. It also means that I absolutely will NOT be using the DRS for many years. Not until he is old enough to be expected to control himself.
Ok folks. I’m going to get into something here that I would need t reveal to any other person if they knew who I was or knew me in real life. So if by some weird chance you know me as more than a screen name, please don’t read this. At least please NEVER mention it to me.
When I woke up this afternoon, much earlier than usual, I noticed two things. First that what were my usual fall allergies last night have evolved into being sick as a dog. The second, is that I had that feeling that some part of my mind was doing something that it doesn’t usually. Something was going on under the hood in other words. I think I’d awakened suddenly and caught a process that would normally happen in my sleep, but I woke up because I couldn’t breathe and had to cough up (unpleasant).
It had brought a memory up which I never consciously think of. It’s normal t like I’ve repressed it, I know it happened, and I remember it normally, but it just hasn’t come to the surface of my mind in more than a decade, maybe two. This is something I now realize causes me deep shame and has severely impacted how I see myself since it happened.
I was somewhere in my Junior high school years, and I had gone to an auto race of some kind with my father. It was a multi day event so we camped. I was wandering around that night visiting other campsites (read that finding cool adults willing to share a beer) When I ran across this camp of guys who were in their late teens or early twenties. They didn’t react like everyone else, they were hostile and when I walked away they chased me. They ended up catching me and grabbing me. They demanded that I give them the hat I was wearing, which my dad had given me, and it was somewhat special to me. I handed it over. They then demanded that I give up my jacket which was similarly special. I started to and would have, but they decided not to take it and walked away laughing derisively. I went to some bikers who I’d been hanging with earlier. They said they’d help me get the hat back, but I was too afraid to go even with them. I failed twice that night.
My father got on me for being irresponsible and losing my hat, and didn’t believe me about what happened.
I have never been able to get back what they took from me. I had an opportunity to show courage and I proved myself a coward, and I’ve never been able to prove otherwise to myself. This might not sound like much to you, but it was a pivotal moment in my life. A bad one. I could have fought, we were surrounded by thousands of people in tents who would have woken if I made noise. I also had a knife on me. I should have used it ( it was three on one, they were between 16 and twenty, I was somewhere around twelve to fourteen. Justifiable). Any trouble I’d have gotten in would have been better than the loss of my sense of manhood at that age.
Seems that FRM is at work.
Please keep touchy feeley comments to a minimum here. Whatever I was trying to do there didn’t get finished because I woke up.
Total Respect Paul. Appreciate your honesty and courage today for being willing to to do so I've got some shit to share when the time is right. I appreciate your emtional boundaries Man. There are more men here I'm shure who've been thru some serious shit that would have nothing but encouraing words to say to you out of relatedness,respect and compassion!! More power to ya Man!!
(09-26-2019, 04:11 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ]Total Respect Paul. Appreciate your honesty and courage today for being willing to to do so I've got some shit to share when the time is right. I appreciate your emtional boundaries Man. There are more men here I'm shure who've been thru some serious shit that would have nothing but encouraing words to say to you out of relatedness,respect and compassion!! More power to ya Man!!
Thanks man. But as I said, I would never share that with anyone who actually knew me. And this might really tell Shannon about how something is working.