WIFE: She got the job she interviewed for the day before yesterday. It bears repeating that this is a pretty amazing coincidence. She’s getting this from the temp to hire agency that got her her last job. They called her after seeing her resume on Linked in because they had a job that they thought would be perfect for her, and they hadn’t even known that she was currently unemployed. It just happened to happen right after she got laid off. The job paid a little better than her last one did, and is a temp to hire which is likely to pay even more after she is hired in six months. This puts us money ahead because we can now keep the money she got for her severance package, the money for her COBRA coverage, and the extra money I’ve made. The plan is to use some of that to improve her credit rating so that we can go forward with the original plan of refinancing and be all the way out of financial trouble in a few months. This is awesome news.
ME: The anger and frustration I felt yesterday are gone. When I had that realization about where that comes from it started to abate, and now I remember feeling angry all the time, and I remember realizing the underlying fear that was causing it, but it doesn’t seem to have any emotional power anymore. It’s like I never had that thought/emotional pattern. I don’t know if this is permanent yet, he’ll, that would be shocking considering that’s been my primary fear and a major driver of my behavior for so long, but we have progress. It might even be a major leap forward. I feel a lot better, and I don’t just feel that everything is going to be great, I know it will.
The news from my wife didn’t hurt. This puts us ahead of the game by a five figure number that I’m not going to reveal here, but we’re a long way toward finally solving our financial problems just from this, plus it gives us the key to getting the rest of it done in the very near future.
I should have recognized the pattern here. The same thing happened repeatedly on USLM1. Something appears to go to crap, but then either a solution presents itself and everything either turns out OK, or as in this case better than expected. This time that happened on a very large scale though. It was different this time though. I didn’t even feel like freaking out. Throughout the entire thing, I had faith that I could get us through it. I did what I could on the normal level, and what do you know, fate/luck/the universe just provided the rest. The program has already paid for the two copies of itself many times over.
I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
(08-29-2019, 08:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
Thanks. Congrats to you on creating this program.
In this case that’s exactly what it was I’m sure of it. I think some of the stuff that happened on one was some part of me resisting by manifesting sabotage attempts and another stronger part being able to counter them. That’s pretty amazing. My self sabotage ability has been very strong throughout my life.
Question, you were talking about updating USLM again, any idea when that might happen? I think I’m going to try to take another run at the career field I really want to be in, and that could be helpful.
(08-29-2019, 08:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
Hey Paul. I swear to goodness that what chew just said Shannon...is exactly what all has been going on...with me too!! I have thought many times " wow,I see good in bad" a take off from a quote from "5th Element " - "I like ,see good in bad". I got technically, assaulted this late afternoon,cops called, ass was arrested,I felt almost next to no fear while all this was going on. There have been several instances where,it's been F-ed up,funky,ect and yet I've come to see that the good Will come to unfold eventually and it does!!
Ums is one bad ass player. Thank Shannon! Thank you Paul!!
(08-29-2019, 04:09 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 08:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
Hey Paul. I swear to goodness that what chew just said Shannon...is exactly what all has been going on....8 have thought many times " wow,I see good in bad" a take of from a quote from "5th Element " - "I like ,see good in bad". I got technically, assaulted this late afternoon,cops called, ass was arrested,I felt almost next to no fear while all this was going on. There have been several instances where,it's been F-ed up,funky,ect and yet I've come to see that the good Will come to unfolf, eventually.
Ums is one bad ass player. Thank Shannon! Thank you Paul!!
Are you ok? I’m reading that as the other guy was arrested, not you, but I’m not sure. Is that correct?
ME: Ok, I just had something happen that hasn’t happened since a few weeks into LTU. I had a really vivid daydream, in this case about fighting my first girlfriend’s dad. (Don’t judge, he was a real piece of work) it was really intense and immersive, complete with anger, elevated heart rate and adrenaline dump. I got it under control when I realized what was happening, but damn that one was intense. It tried to come back on me twice too. My ability to control it seemed better somehow though. I’m not sure what’s going on with this, these bloody things had gone away on LTU, and I really hadn’t missed them.
(08-29-2019, 04:19 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 04:09 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 08:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
Hey Paul. I swear to goodness that what chew just said Shannon...is exactly what all has been going on....8 have thought many times " wow,I see good in bad" a take of from a quote from "5th Element " - "I like ,see good in bad". I got technically, assaulted this late afternoon,cops called, ass was arrested,I felt almost next to no fear while all this was going on. There have been several instances where,it's been F-ed up,funky,ect and yet I've come to see that the good Will come to unfolf, eventually.
Ums is one bad ass player. Thank Shannon! Thank you Paul!!
Are you ok? I’m reading that as the other guy was arrested, not you, but I’m not sure. Is that correct?
MY apoligy,.Paul...yes Im OK. Yes he was the Nut job that got put in the(as we used to say)"Klinker",da who-sa-gouse!
IM OK, he grabbed My chest and pulled off some 'medicine"(really really bad Ju-Ju for Him,really Bad!) I was wearing,left some imprints slightly,but quickly faded. Bruised MY Ego more than anything,thank goodness!! It was far more intense emotionally and energetically,trust me,but yeah Im OK.
what astounded Me Paul was how Un-In-Fear,I was,yes Un-In-fear....I felt maybe 5% fear from 1 to 100! 10% max at the height of it.... I was operating from clarity.
this blessed( beats calling it 'damned') thing called Fear Remover 4.6 is friggin phenominal. I dont push it all,just still amazes me.
(08-30-2019, 07:57 AM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 04:19 PM)Paul1131 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 04:09 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: [ -> ] (08-29-2019, 08:07 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]I am starting to be of the opinion that a lot of what seems like "bad luck" from USLM type things is really breaking an existing state to allow for the development of something better. A rapid switching of circumstances that appears bad before it's finished developing, but turns out good in the end.
Congrats to you and your wife!
Hey Paul. I swear to goodness that what chew just said Shannon...is exactly what all has been going on....8 have thought many times " wow,I see good in bad" a take of from a quote from "5th Element " - "I like ,see good in bad". I got technically, assaulted this late afternoon,cops called, ass was arrested,I felt almost next to no fear while all this was going on. There have been several instances where,it's been F-ed up,funky,ect and yet I've come to see that the good Will come to unfolf, eventually.
Ums is one bad ass player. Thank Shannon! Thank you Paul!!
Are you ok? I’m reading that as the other guy was arrested, not you, but I’m not sure. Is that correct?
MY apoligy,.Paul...yes Im OK. Yes he was the Nut job that got put in the(as we used to say)"Klinker",da who-sa-gouse!
IM OK, he grabbed My chest and pulled off some 'medicine"(really really bad Ju-Ju for Him,really Bad!) I was wearing,left some imprints slightly,but quickly faded. Bruised MY Ego more than anything,thank goodness!! It was far more intense emotionally and energetically,trust me,but yeah Im OK.
what astounded Me Paul was how Un-In-Fear,I was,yes Un-In-fear....I felt maybe 5% fear from 1 to 100! 10% max at the height of it.... I was operating from clarity.
this blessed( beats calling it 'damned') thing called Fear Remover 4.6 is friggin phenominal. I dont push it all,just still amazes me.
Glad to hear you’re ok and not in the clink. Not pleasant places those. Did you notice a difference in the energetic portion of the attack from the auric shield?
Yes,I just knew there was no harm coming to me,I knew it. I stayed intact the entire time. So my conclusion is since fear remover is working so darn well & it is! There fore so is Magnus Engine...well it stands to reason that fear remover working,Magnus Engine working, then Ultimate Monetary Success is on the job too and in time we shall see the money rolling in finding it, connections to more money etc. Good news to me. Paul FMR showed me IN THIS REALITY,in this worldwhen comes down to it , it really really worksxin real life therefore so WILL the Money!!
Congrats to your wife and you man,her new job benefits all concerned!! Right on man,right on !!
ME: I feel better today. After that anger fantasy thing, I felt emotionally exhausted for the rest of the night. I still feel tired this evening, but not as much so, and the morphine drip effect has kicked in a couple of times. There has been no repeat of the incident so far, and I don’t think there will be.
That relates to that dream I mentioned a few posts ago. I think the “me” in the dream was some fearful part of myself that was hiding on a very deep level where it thought it would be safe. The thing that came down was the real me coming to reclaim the level, and it forced the fearful part to go to the surface where it couldn’t long survive. That’s probably what that anger was.
That tells me that this version of FRM is able to help me dig down to levels that the previous ones couldn’t reach and actually eradicate the fears instead of forcing them to hide. That means that this probably won’t be as smooth feeling of a process as it has been, but it also means that in the end it will be more effective.
ME: I was exhausted all day today for no apparent reason. I actually took a couple of hour nap which is not normally something I do. I had an odd dream. I was on the outskirts of this large building complex with a lady. I knew her in the dream, but no one I recognize. She warned me that there was a bear. Sure enough a huge black bear approached us. I knew not to freak out and it came over and sniffed me and licked my face, then it walked away. Neither the woman nor I acted scared, but she was closer than I was.
WIFE: This was her first day of work. She called and said that she’s really loving her new job so far, and that it’s pretty much what she was doing before but it’s easier. She was saying that this might be a place that she wants to retire from.
ME: The next step to getting us out of financial trouble is to get some things paid off and improve her credit with the extra money and then refi like we were originally planning. To that end, I’ve been cleaning like a crazy person. The house became a real disaster area while I was working all of the extra hours. I have to say, this sub isn’t as good at keeping negative emotions down as LTU was. I’m feeling quite a bit of frustration and anger at the wife and the roommate right now. On the other hand, maybe I have a right to, and FRM is allowing me to feel it. I get that they both have health issues that keep them from being at full strength, but the wife was off for a month and a half and didn’t do a lick of cleaning while I was working double. I am doing all of the work for a four person household on my own, and I have been for a really long time.
I noticed a difference in how I’m thinking about getting this stuff done too. Before I was concerned about not doing things in a way that she wouldn’t like. Now, I don’t care. If I have to do it all, I’ll decide how it gets done, and she can be mad about it.
ME: I just finished my second night on of this set of three. Really didn’t feel much bloom during my days off this time. Everything felt pretty much normal. All of the 5.5G subs I’ve been on have had times when they feel like they’re doing nothing though, and that’s usually right before there’s some kind of breakthrough. Today my thoughts have been weird. I’ll get some negative thoughts surfacing, but there’s a positive one right behind it. It’s like there’s an argument going on in my head. The weird thing is that it seems to me like “I” am not involved in it. It’s like it’s between two other people, and I feel oddly emotionally detached from it. I’m just kind of listening.
I’m feeling kind of lost right now. I have absolutely no idea where I’m going from here. I know where I want to be financially, and with some other aspects of my life, but I really don’t know how I’m going to get from here to there. Thing is, it’s not bothering me. This line of thinking used to drive me nuts. Now, I’m ok with it for now. I still have the sense that my subconscious has a plan in mind, and I’m working toward it in some form or fashion even though all I seem to be doing at the moment is living day to day and waiting.